i glow more than i can breathe.
i wait for something to occur beneath my feet.
if only there was more,
if only there was time,
if only..
i wasn't stuck in a neverending rhyme.

before beaches were entombed with sand,
before oceans were a home to riches,
i stood tall among others.
i knew where i was going.
i felt a very warm new day.
if only there was more time.
if only allies could build up these lies.
if only..

we are not but a species.
we are a family brought by love and hate.
we are not nonexistent.
we are loved but ignored.
we catch those who want to be caught.
we believe in those who want to be saved.
however,
if only there was hope.

i am fourteen years old.
i am not who i am by manifestation.
i am brewed by those who know me,
those who love me, those who knew me.

i am not big enough.
i am not listened enough.
but i know i am smart enough.
strong enough.
ready enough.
i belong.

yes, i am but of fourteen years of age.
but i do not forget that i am shaped by many mouths.
many ears, many noses, and many hands.

i keep up with those of elder.
i am a keeper of secrets and lies and betrayals of manipulation.
i do not doubt my own antics and anticipations.

my spirit and my soul are not purified.
however,
my heart is shared within all.
a bit, by bit to those of others.
and a little something extra to whoever wants it.

i am only fourteen years of age.
and i am a volume of blessings, blood, and beliefs,
more than i am a person

how many voices?
how many screams?
will it take for you to not ignore me?

how long will i have to stay alive?
how long will i have to fake being happy?
how long until you notice i wasn't there?

maybe time is just a illusion,
an imaginary concept we tell ourself we are wasting,
and definitely not gaining.

i wonder why things are how they are,
before falling,
and falling,
into something that seems so dark,
i can't barely breathe.

perhaps opening my eyes would be helpful,
but they are shut.
and i feel dirt,
all around me.

am i dead?
am i nothing but of bones and rotting flesh?
am i just gone?

that can't be.
i can't just go,
without saying my worth.

but i can't.
because,
that wouldn't be true.