My phone feels dry,
But my shoulders feel light,
No longer do I have to try,
To always be right,

I’m not waiting for vibrations,
Or worrying about the what if’s,
Not concerning myself with the complications,
Rather focusing on my gifts,

These gifts some know as blessings,
These blessings conceal themself,
Every blessing discovered through testing,
Testing my true determined self,

Having more time to focus on me,
And none on you,
I can now clearly see,
What I was missing with you,

I was missing my individualism and independence,
Too attached to you to realize,
Your criticism has been my transcendence,
No need to ever apologize,

For what you did is for the better,
To that I am a believer,
Never again shall I write a love letter,
To an undesiring receiver,

Goodbye for now,
If I am to see you once more,
I do know now,
That I would not keep open the door.

Grievance hides in comforts lair,
Waiting and preparing with an evil glare,
Coming out when least expected,
Leaving not a love untested,
Pain hits both souls in unequal proportions,
Feelings of love face severe distortions,
While you may detach with little trouble,
This has turned me into a pile of rubble,

You feel relief from madness,
I feel grief and sadness,
You need time to reset and defuse,
I remain restless dazed and confused,

Hopes of renewal flows through me,
I ponder and it is you I see,
You are unlike me however,
You are unsure if there might be better,
Unsure if it is a better me,
Or if it is someone else you might see,

What was,
What could have been,
What was the cause,
And when?
How did it come to this,
I struggle to not reminisce,
So many good times,
Drowned out by one harsh line,
Spoken from you,
All of it truth,
Painful to the ear,
Something I never wanted to hear,
Yet delivered with such care,
As to make it easier to bear,
Yet somehow that made it worse,
Now it justs hurts,
It almost would have been easier,
If you had made it speedier,
Cut ties right after,
So I wouldn’t have to remember the laughter,
Oft shared between you and I,
Which I know lies buried in time,

You have given me a slimmer of hope,
That maybe some day we can fix what you broke,
How can I move on when my heart lives for the future,
For a past that couldn’t possibly come sooner,
How long can I wait,
Right at the gate,
For you to make up your mind,
Create a relationship by your design,
To your liking,
To my acceptance,
Am I willing to give my independence,
For what, another eight months,
Another eight months of constant bumps?
Foolish is the one to agree to this,
Yet foolish am I to even resist,
I know I can take it,
Another eight months,
I know I can commit,
Even through all the bumps,
You are the unknown,
Sitting there on your throne,
Making your ruling off how you feel,
Giving me the urge to kneel,
Your decision holds my breath in the air,
I hope of nothing but repair,
And I wait as you stay quiet,
Acknowledging that decisions take time,
Yet I hope to once again call you mine.

I think I’m ready now,
After all that has taken place,
Now to you I vow,
I am ready for a new face,

That seems to be you,
Which is no problem to me,
You are new,
And you make me feel free

When looking so deeply through a scope,
What I see is just a glowing red dot,
Yet I will always continue to hope,
That someday we can claim a spot,
On this planet full of unused land,
Not a single acre fit for living,
Vast red deserts covered in sand,
A planet that is sincerely unforgiving,
Life may have existed long ago,
But it thrives on Mars no longer,
Modern society can make it grow,
Into a brand new Mars that is stronger,
Humans will live where life once thrived,
Mars, just wait until humanity arrives

So now I’ve met you once in person,
It went fantastic and I wished it not to end,
But when I got home things started to worsen,
When I learned about your friend,

You told me not to worry,
But this situation is weird,
It makes it all feel so blurry,
This was great before he appeared,

I’m not sure what to do,
Should I pursue or should I back out,
Do I put myself through,
Or do I find another route,

I don’t need more pain,
I’ve been through this before,
There is nothing to gain,
From a girl once more,

He shows outgoing affection,
You take it with no second thought,
Does it interfere with our connection,
It makes me feel distraught,

I bet he’s very nice,
He is probably just a friend,
But will he ever entice,
Us to come to our end,

Or will he not matter,
Will it all be fine,
Will we eventually share laughter,
Will you someday be mine

I look at you with confusion,
For I know I like you a lot,
But I can’t come to a conclusion,
On whether I should proceed or not,
Around you I feel happy,
But I am not sure to what extent,
You are oh so snappy,
With only the purest intent,
A ****** thought has not crossed your mind,
You are smarter than most,
You are also so kind,
And I swear I have never seen you boast,
If you ever did,
You would apologize immediately,
Acting like a kid,
Seeking forgiveness expediently,
If I were to ask you to be more than we are,
I would have to think deeply,
I still have a minor scar,
From someone I’m not over completely,
It would be unfair to you,
For me to not be mentally committed,
Only pain would ensue,
And I would feel twisted,

So although I do like you,
I just can’t put you through,
All those emotions,
My previous devotions,
That I struggle to move on from,
That I need to overcome,
Those feelings I still retain,
There is nothing to gain,
She is long gone,
Yet my brain remembers her song,
Yet fainter it becomes each day,
If only it would go away,

Then I could look at you in peace,
Knowing she would no longer bother me,
From her I need to release,
From her I need to be free