my eyes have seen sights that are beautiful as hell
and even if i didn't travel, it's just as well, just as well
because i've seen your face
and now i never want to leave this place

you were a tiny mistake
created from something broken

it was not the right time

i could not keep you
and my sanity
and my sanctity
simletaneously

it was not the right time

i did what i had to
i did what i could
i took you
and stopped you
and thought it was good

it was not the right time

but i saw you
i saw you
i saw you
and it was a mistake

it was not the right time
it was not the right time

and all the king's horses
and all the king's men
couldn't put us back together again

i can't believe those words
came tumbling out of your mouth
i cant breathe

we talk
you say
"you're too pretty to cry"
and you wipe the tears from my face
yet you're the reason these tears fall
in the first place

i wish you hadn't
of done that
but i forgive you
please don't leave me
i just can't lose you

you're the Light of my Life
my Sun and Stars
you kiss away and heal all of my scars
what you did was rash
and incredibly dumb
but i understand
i've been down that road
i've been that someone

i wish you hadn't
of done that
but i forgive you
please don't leave me
i just can't lose you

you deserve to be happy
you deserve to think high of yourself
you deserve to have fun
even if i'm not included

i wish you hadn't
of done that
but i forgive you
please don't leave me
i just can't lose you
i just can't lose you

I feel more at home

in your bed

than I do

in mine

I am a musician.
I do not write.
I compose.
I can tell you the tempo of my heart
And how it shifts from adagio to allegro
When I see your face.
How the crescendo of your smile
Creates a symphony in my mind.
How the lilts of your voice are melodies
I will never forget.

I am a musician.
I am not a poet.
I cannot compare thee to a summer's day
But what I can do is compare you to a piece of complete harmony
And consonance.
I can tell you the names of the chords you strike through my veins
When you look me in the eyes.
I cannot turn words into poetry or love
But I can sing you love songs until my voice runs dry.

I am a musician.
I cannot write.
I can strum you like a guitar and make you hum.
I can make you sing sweet melodies when I run my fingers down your spine.
I can tell you how cacophonous my life is without you.
I can tell you how the melody in a monophonic composition feels
When you're gone.
I can feel the syncopation when we are in a fight.

I am a musician.
I am not a poet.
I cannot put into words how I feel about you.
But I can sure as hell try
In this word sonata of thoughts.

what if
when you leave
you don't come back
when you travel
the rest of the world
with your backpack
i am sad
that you are leaving
for quite some time
i will be alone
and stuck
but i'll say "i'm fine"
when i am actually not
when i am missing you
at 2 a.m.
when i am wrought
with stress and fear
when you are there and i am here
you say nothing will change
but how do you know?
how can you be sure
our love won't go?
how can you be sure
that our love won't travel
like you will
for those four months?
how will i know
on your journey
of self-discovery
that you will discover
not only who you are
but that
you don't need my love anymore?

who are you
what's inside
what's your guilt
say about you

when are you
what were you like
what's your innocence
say about you

what are you
do you know
what's your wisdom
say about you

why are you
what is your point
what's your actions
say about you

where are you
i miss you like hell
what's your love
say about you

I wish I believed in a higher power
To tremble before an Awesome God, or cower.
To have eternal faith and love and hope,
To cleanse myself with the purest soap.
I wish I believed in something higher
More than me, the earth, and the fire.
More than anger, sadness, despair, chagrin,
More than I could ever imagine.
I wish I could believe in a God.
But believe? I simply cannot.
I put faith in science and in theory
And above all, I believe in me
And reality.

Let me in
I want to know what your world is like
Don't hold back
I want to see the city lights
Just open up
I want to wake up by you
Don't go away
I think I love you

I've been chained to your heart
For far too long
This is not for you
This is not your song
For your melody is far too sweet
For these vacant words
For this stupid poem
For this thing absurd
Home is where you are
But I am in-between
A hobo roaming the streets
A homeless, poor Queen
I've loved you
I've lost you
I've been you
I've broke you
Forgive me
I could not help myself
Forgive me
Because I cannot
Forgive me
Forgive me
But don't ever forget me

And I would walk to the ends of the earth
Just to find out who you really are.
It doesn't matter where you're going
Or whether I can travel that far,
All that matters is who you are.
Tell me all your secrets
Confess all your mistakes
Discuss your past, present, future,
All the sacrifices you've had to make.
Tell me how hard you break.
Share your wisdom
Tell a tale
Tell me all you succeed
Tell me all you fail
Your protective armor scale.
Open up
Let me in
You can't lose
If you can't win.
Let me be your cardinal sin.
Let me love you for forever,
A stranger to me, naught, never.

How silly of me to think
You might have said yes.
To think you could feel the same,
To think you could feel at all.
Now I'll never be the same.
I'll just be the shell of a girl
Who used to know what it meant
To love and be loved.
To throw her cares away.
Now I'm just a ghost
With unfinished business that will never resolve.
And to be certain it's not my fault
I'll put all the blame on you;
I was such an easy target.
And you drew back
And you took your aim
And you let go.

Bullseye.

You pierced my heart.
It's hard to fall in love
With a bona fide villain
Who played you from the start.

It doesn’t matter
That you broke my heart,
That you left me,
That you threw me away
Like I was trash.

It doesn’t matter
That we still don’t talk,
That you have someone else,
That you have
Forgotten me.

All that matters
Is the fact
That I once had you.
That you once loved me.
That you once thought about me every day.
That I once gave you butterflies in your stomach.
Whenever you saw me,
You would light up
Your day would get better.
The thought of our bodies intertwined
Had crossed your mind.
That once, you had always called me babe
And said “I love you”.
And you had once meant it.

All that matters
Is that I caught you
And I had you.
Once,
we were
Happy.

everything
everything was a lie
and i thought i was your grain of truth
but i guess i wasn't good enough
wasn't close enough
wasn't lovely enough
to be that grain
but rather
i was just good enough
to keep you company
and
nothing
more

You
Do not have the right
To come bursting in my life
To make me feel this way about
You

You
Do not have the right
To call me
Beautiful
Babe
To say
I love you
And then leave
Without a trace
Without a sound

Out of sight
But not
Out of

Mind

I want you to know how it feels
When you have a burning and stinging
In your eyes when tears come.
I want you to know how it feels
To give someone your absolute all
Only to have it pried from your cold, dead
Fingers.
I want you to know how it feels
When I watch you **** another
And you are unaware.
I want you to know how it feels
To have an intense burning in your heart;
When you see someone achingly beautiful.
I want you to know how it feels
Having absolutely no hope or love left,
Just cold ice and emptiness.
I want you to know how it feels
To feel humiliated and disgusted,
To have your heart bitten in two.
I want you to know how it feels
Whenever I'm with you.

White flag surrender,
I lay my weapons down.
I've run out of fight
Silence is the loudest sound.

I'm giving up;
I won't put up a fight
I'm done with this-
whatever this is-
And I'll blow out the lights.

I will bow down,
I will kneel.
But tell me, dear,
Is pride all that you feel?

Well, you've done it.
You have finally won.
Are you happy now?
Our love here is done.
Our love here is done.

Drowning in these memories of October
The absence, the vacancy, the nothing
The way you wove your hands through mine
Your lips like wine
Sweet, red, and filled me with warmth
And everything I'd ever need
My hunger for love you'd feed
And the burn of our passion
Like the sun-
An eternal flame
Never touched by darkness-
Always shining brightly.
And on the day the light did rip
Came a fearful, dark, destructive eclipse.
The way you left without a sound
The weariness and sadness inside me bound.
Oh how I miss your tender touch!
Don't you know I love you oh so much?
It tears me apart
As I slowly, sadly, surely
Depart
To go my separate way
Please beg me to stay.
All those days ago I turned away
Drowning in October.