The happiness was brief,
The sadness stayed long.
I thought we had all the time in the world,
Well I thought wrong.

Everything and everyone that comes after you are easier,
because nothing is harder than you.

Nothing is harder than leaving you.
Nothing is harder than not replying to you.
Nothing is harder than pretending you don’t mean anything to me.
Nothing is harder than forgetting you.
Nothing is harder than seeing you loving someone and that someone isn’t me.
Nothing is harder than writing to you knowing you would never be able to read it.

Is it all the thing I said,
Or the ones left unsaid,
That makes me feel so regretful.

I want to stop dwelling over this,
And be happy again.
But I stop knowing what happiness is,
After losing you.

It is painful,
Every time I try to reach out to someone,
The first person that comes into my mind,
Is you.

I don't have your phone number saved,
In my phone.
But I have it engraved,
Permanently in my brain.

I just don't know how to end this.

you’ve been sitting on the praying mat for an hour,
with tears falling from your eyes,
your face it wet,
realisation hits you hard.

you are selfish.
you make selfish wish.
you think what you prayed for is what best for everyone.

well you thought wrong.

you finally make one final wish,
for Him to put everything to its place,
let him decide what’s best for you,
and everyone you love.

there are many ways to spell it out
or say it out loud
I craved for it
it was a long time until I was sure—
almost sure I could never own it

I stopped dreaming

then I saw others having something I couldn’t even dream to have

that drove a rush in me
I couldn’t explain
was it jealousy?
or a plain hatred?

today, I’m sure I still want it
I’ll keep dreaming
because a girl like me can only dream