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avc Dec 2018
Remember how to breath
to slow it down masterfully
Its actually your right to BE
in a world where there is so much diversity
the moments are passing through time
Remember to laugh it off
everything is alright
avc Dec 2018
Its only a greeting
No need for word speeding
Hello
Whats you name?
I can play this game.
You can get your point across
I can hear what you have to say
Why am I trembling?
A question shakes my mental structures
and internally I am lost
I go blank
I panic
Now I can't even remember what the question was?
Oh ****,
now I look like an idiot.
I start to breath a little harder,
and I feel like I need to sit..
I escape.
No friend made.
What a pain.
avc Oct 2015
I am the moon shining bright in the sky
and the sun that brings life
I am a miracle
but
I am in sorrow
it  will not drown me
it will not consume me
I will rise above it all
I will push
...
and yet
I feel zapped, trapped
will I fall?

the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach
the satin stains that pave yesterdays pains and fill up the page
in the midst of the unknown
I am in a battle with myself
Torn, between love and hate
Torn, between right and wrong
Torn, between yes and no
I told you so
looking for a place to call home
Torn by darkness
the feeling of being consumed
It surrounds me
the creeping shadows filled with doubt
hide the door that leads to the way out
avc Jan 2014
Captured
Like a bird in a cage
A mangled body caught in a trap
But everything looks fine if you can't see that

Beauty is what they say they see
All I can see is the fear engulfing me
Making me mute
afraid to alter the environment
for I am sure to lose!

Oh, and lose I do!
They pity my attempts
They call me sweet and kind
but see a broken child in my depths.

I suppose thats what I am
A broken child at best
I could never break free
being born into a tangled mess

It is no ones fault
They did the best they could
I simply do not know
What it is I was meant to do.

Do I not know enough?
Am I not strong?
Why is it I feel, I do everything wrong...

What do I do now?
Voluteering at a loss
My anxiety to speak
Seeps through my teeth
Effecting the room
so no one "bothers" me.

But they aren't a bother...
I wish I could talk
I don't mean to be mute
It just feels like Im blocked

My mind goes blank
and all I can do is smile
i just want you to know...
I am more then just a child....

Stay with me and talk
don't ask me questions
It is nice to hear your voice
Can't hear mine?.. oh, please don't mention it!

Just tell me where you come from
What you love and what you don't
Why your here and how its been
It would be so nice for me
To just listen peacefully

Sometimes I feel it would have been easier
Being born without a voice
So others would understand
It really isn't my choice.
avc Jan 2014
From the mobsters to the members
A hunter to a fur coat wearer;
A president and the people
Gaurds and peace seekers
Officers and rebels
Brown or yellow
White and black

What difference is there?
Are we not all in this together?
Breaking apart together?
Finding tiny joys to live for with one another?

Why is it so hard
to stop judging right from wrong?
To see the world in color
and be creative with out harm
harm to ourselves
and to those who are in this with us

no one is against us
only against themselves

still we choose to continue to defend ourselves
forgetting we are all people
experiencing the material body
fighting against illusions of image and standards
We are all here now

Still, why do we compare?
compete as if its fair?
what is fair?

We all want to be unique
and we are
but our 'uniqueness' must be worth more then "theirs"?

How does this make sense?
When its only taste is bare?

The separation and segregation
they say to compete is to grow
I say to support is to know
Support what is good
which is as broad as life.

Comparing seems to me
as an equal to shaming
is it not?
Or is it something only I have had to fought?
avc Jan 2014
This house in the hills
Mountains I should say
far from the cities
or from people who play

I enjoy the solitude
the pup who sleeps by me
the man who comes back home
to endearing company

This adobe house, built by human hands.
No machinery needed, helping tend the land.
The river flowing near, and the magpies who visit.
I do enjoy this home, and the people who are in it.

Still, this place lacks joy
from the kids whos laughter echos through the world
from the corners of my mind
an emptiness spreads, and i can not help but feel a lonliness instead.

I am too young for children
I have not learned to teach
I have not learned to reach what is needed to find peace
so what is it I lack?
What more could I seek?

Why should I feel a depression that runs this deep?
Does my past still hold strong
to the young one I once was?
What more do I need.. to finally feel strong?
Do I not understand, my desire to know more
before I bring little ones into this world?
who am I anyhow, to mother, to teach
To preach any message, to those who know peace.
To those who know joy, and more then I remember.
To the ones who are divine with enjoying simple pleasures.

How can I at twenty two, enjoy my life in simple pursuits?

— The End —