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Autumn Shayse Oct 2013
I long to be at sea,
the waves lapping around me,
the fluidity the sea provides -
a protection,
a tie.

But more so,
I long to
feel
insignificant
and yet for the first time,
completely whole
Autumn Shayse Oct 2013
Fingertips tracing skin,
like words forming,
scattering trails on a page;
Providing hope,
Shattering dreams,
Creating fantasies with each
and every syllable, each
and every embrace.

I let the words
tumble out of me,
never understanding,
justifying
why I feel so free.

Perhaps,
it is the barricades of others,
the view that I deserve to be alone,
which stops me
from revealing how I really feel,
that I even feel at all.

Expression of
the entanglement of emotion
that encompasses my very being,
that opens me up to the fingertips on my skin.
Autumn Shayse Sep 2013
I don't want to write anymore,
it's hurting me so much,
I'm losing myself in a sea of words,
of things I don't understand

I don't want to write anymore,
it makes me think about myself,
it makes me wonder why I bother,
why I am the way I am

I don't want to write anymore,
I just want to stop.
I need my head to stop circling,
I need my heart to collapse.

I don't want to write anymore,
I just need to understand
why it is,
that life makes no sense
Autumn Shayse Sep 2013
Love;
It needs not exist -
It simply desires to be planted,
Into a fragmented mind

For
It shall embed and allure,
almost anybody,
Deceiving them with its charms
Fooling them with its invasion;

And
In the state of disillusionment
they will be,
Inconceivably mistaken
and yet content beyond
anything any other real
emotion could conjure.
Autumn Shayse Sep 2013
there is so much guilt for
the dead,
as though to not pity them,
is to erase them completely.

we fear for
the dead,
as though they are lost
and afraid,
as though without our
dulcet whisperings,
they shall be alone in the dark;

I think that we should smile for
the dead,
after all,
they probably do not care
as they are too busy
decaying,
as we're wilting.
inspired by Christina Rossetti's 'when I am dead, my dearest'  and people's ridiculous obsession with informing everyone how much they loved someone who died, when in fact they didn't even know them.
Autumn Shayse Sep 2013
and when the darkness sets in,
the day has faded,
I think of you,
floating with the stars

loss is not something I'm accustomed to,
not something anyone should be,
but you're gone

I love to believe in
the place in the sky,
where you will be fine -
I love  to believe
that you are ever present
I love to believe
in fairy-tales.

clashing,
worlds connecting if only for a
breathless moment
as the darkness settles in.
Autumn Shayse Aug 2013
I don't know
how to write
anymore:
my thoughts are
trapped,
in this little
mind of mine.
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