make it stop, please,
for I am running out of time,
I am losing all abilities,
to control my petty mind.

shut it down, I ask,
with total earnest,
for I am disillusioned,
by the extent of the wreckage,
within myself.

end it all, I pray
to anyone who will listen,
for I am not sure who is even there.
    and thats the point, I implore
    I am not sure,
   who is there and who is not,
   what is real and what is misguided fiction,
   who I am and who I want,
   to be.

make it stop, please
for I am running out of time,
I am losing all abilities,
to control my petty mind.

I was struggling,
to feel
inspired - for so long
I was unable to form words;
coherent sentences

Then,
suddenly,
I became over-whelmed with incessant emotions
of albeit incoherent ramblings

The cause,
why of course -
it can only be
attraction
I'm too afraid to call it love

Torn, conflicted
Split in two

One half,
Awed by talent,
Impressed with skill,
Dismayed through maturity,
clouding my judgement

The other,
Transfixed,
Lingering emotions,
Pangs of jealousy surging,
with the signs of his distaste
He is the first,
the only one of any worth

I started off unable to write -
with a lack of inspiration
Now I am content with my inspiration
of emotional turmoil

And in the beginning,
there was hope,
there was innocence,
there was fearlessness,
Uncontrollable naivety of youth

And then - as the path of life twists in a labyrinth of mystery;
there was the fear of the unknown,
there was the loss of others once deemed vital,
there was the darkness cast into the sunlight -
The weathering of life had begun

And in the end,
there was sorrow and regret,
of actions not taken,
of words unsaid.

And there was pain,
For in the wake of destruction,
There was a replacement of hope with anguish,
of innocence with weariness,
of fearlessness with danger,
Uncontrollable transformation: as from caterpillar to butterfly.

Everything seems to happen
to everyone else;
relationships form and
break apart,
dreams are achieved and
shattered also -

yet, I am left,
overlooked,
cast aside -
the spectator.

I can never understand,
they think,
she's not be trusted,
they envisage,
just leave her to the side, she'll interject if she wants to
and I never do, not anymore.

because,
I am nothing
I am merely a reflection for everybody else
to glance at once
in a while.