You left a note

Never heard your cries
You weren't singing
Never was a lullaby

You were bled dry
Ate completely alive
I never saw it

You left a note

if only the days events
were as welcoming
as my blankets
and if only my motivations
were motivating enough
to make me climb out of bed

I don't know
What to say
The words
Caught in
My throat
Tears trapped
In your eyes
You need to
Hear me
Say it
Yet I can't
Suffocating
On syllables

I let your eyes beg me to stay
You let me drift back into your arms
Only to push me away
Not too long after

You always said that you
Wanted to lift me up
I always said that I
Would never let you down

Look at where we are now

i hope
you find the way out
a way to not let your system
be so nervous

i hope
you find the way to walk
a way to live in peace
and not be so torn up

I'm chasing you for love
And I don't think it's all your fault
I get too attached
Pretend like this is mine to have
Its not though
...

I write sometimes
And feel like
My own audience
I read
And re-read
Until I finish
Then I look at my words
And sometimes
I throw roses
And sometimes
I throw tomatoes

I misprise who is't I am
I misprise who is't I am not
I seeketh changeth
I don't seeth how it's probable
Viewing as I'm the same p'rson

I am who is't I am I supposeth
I am the tears yond I caused
To hie down thy visage
I am the blood yond I've spilled
Through callous action
I am the weight of mine own sins
And I knoweth
I am running out of tears myself
I am running out of blood to keepeth Pouring into lifeless conditions
And I'm getting awfully heavy

Forgetting what once wast
And hating what forsooth is
I prayeth I am not the villian
But if I am to beest
I'll rememb'r the chapters yond
Madeth me

I would say thanks
for showing me your truly colors
I would say thanks
for showing me where the line is
I would say thanks
for showing me what love isn't
I would say thanks


Thanks for nothing

Trying to figure out
Who I am
Is like
Trying to combine
Bits and pieces
Of shredded papers
Sound bites that
Don't go together
Videos that
Don't look like me
Or at least
Who I thought I was?

I hate the way my hands shake
The tremors rule
When anxiety doesn't
I hate the way my brain works
The emotions rule
When ideations don't

Let the flowers
Rest on you
Let the tears fall
All around you
Let the stories be told
Just for you

All that you have to do
Is know there's a barrier
Between you and all of that
Remain still
Let the wood and the dirt
Bathe in your remembrance