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Austin Meehan Mar 2023
Knowing it hurts but staying close to the flame
My eyes continue to bleed
Little red teardrops
Hurting myself the same way
I put on disguises
Just to watch myself suffer
The mirror is just the devil
And I don't know where I am right now
I never change myself
Maybe I'm the problem.
Austin Meehan Sep 2022
Why would I lie
I feel nothing
No reason to try
And I'm sorry
I just want to die
What led to this
And who knows why

Oh maybe it's the childhood abuse
The heartbreak
The drug addictions
The ****** the coke the oxy
The **** and the trauma
The attempts on my life
The PTSD
Anxiety
Depression
I was just a kid
And I still raised myself
More than my parents ever did
So many different gods
And I'm still going to hell
Maybe I was once an angel
But **** look how far I fell
Austin Meehan Sep 2022
Hurt
Heartfelt sorrow
Burnt
Nothing I won't feel
Tomorrow
Thinking only makes it
Worse
I'm haunted and I guess it's a
Curse
Austin Meehan Sep 2022
Let me tell you a story
Spin you a tale
It's just you and me
And my cigarette

That I wouldn't make it out alive
Make it to twenty five
Cause all I think about is hitting death row
Killing somebody with a knife
Or put that gun to my head and let it blow
Brain matter on the wall
Splatter and that's all
I have homicidal thoughts
Just dispatch somebody so quick
Who knew death could be bought
Let em ******* pain, just a lick
I guess I'm messed up
I guess I'm sick
I don't know what cause this
I don't know why this is in my head
And all the tears I shed
All I want in my face is lead
Elevating, delegating, and debating
Out of myself, leaving instructions, and deciding if I want to do this
But there wasn't any doubt
Cause all I want from this life is out
And yet I'm still here
But I still killed myself last year
Austin Meehan Sep 2022
I'm working two jobs
Just to get by
Time seems to be flying
And I know why
My money goes away, so does my day
It's empty, and I mean my pockets
Have a short fuse, don't set me off
I'm like a ******* nuclear rocket
Can't seem to escape
This ****** head space
So for now I'll just keep rockin'
Austin Meehan Jul 2022
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Austin Meehan Jul 2022
I'm no saint
I cannot capture it
Like a photo
I cannot describe it
Like a novel
I cannot draw it
Because I cannot paint
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