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Jan 2017 · 543
My drug
Aurora Jan 2017
I haven't written a poem in so long.
I havent written my feelings in so long.
Work, sleep, eat... repeat.
Writing was my sanctuary, my safe haven.
The mystical world of words and feelings left me and i no longer had a reason to write.
I found my happiness.
But now, it is slowly, dimming away again.
am i even good at it?
I never thought i was.
I just needed relief... sweet SWEET release of the torment my soul was feeling.
But now, i feel the itch to write.
The need to feel,
The need to liberate myself.
No words can describe how amazing putting my emotions down in words feel.
How echanting ...
Jan 2017 · 295
One
Aurora Jan 2017
One
He is my one.
He is thee one.
I never thought that would ever happen.
I watch him slumber,
How his eyes are moving rapidly under his lid.
How he breathes in deeply and exhales.
The way he needs to be touching a part of my body.
My beautiful husband.
Husband...
I didnt need him and he didnt need me, but yet, we found each other in the worst place.
I breathe in his love like its my oxygyn.
Sunshine grows within me knowing how it feels to be truly loved.
I cant think of any other human being i could have been with. The way i catch him watching me, the way he comes to look for me when he needs me, like if he lost his toy.
He is now a part of me, forever and always.
I am a part of him, forever and always.
Jan 2017 · 639
Adulthood?
Aurora Jan 2017
I am back,
in the body of a soon to be 23 year old,
I am free as a bird, but feel trapped, like a caged lion.
Is this all to a simple womans life?
Bills, stress, sleepless nights, work?
Repeat steps 1,2,3,4 untills death?
As I lay in bed, my mind runs around my past.
My friends,
My family,
My youth,
My liberty.
I look young,  but act as if I'm retired and dying.
I took advantage of what i had, i miss that place of being a child and not worrying.
Beer is now my friend.
Sleep is now my secret pleasure.
I wish i had a how to be adult book.

Thank you
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Ramblings of a 21 year old
Aurora Jan 2016
The night is young
Not even 10
Or maybe it's late
Worries wrap my body
Like a burrito
Stuffed
Overly stuffed
Terrified my worries are going to
Spill out
Some say...
My middle name is warrior woman!

I say
"Worrier woman"

I joke.

Money is always the key
Money this
Money that

Why can't we give each other compliments as a form of payment
Or not
I don't care
I do...
Helping hands fall short
The worried faces drown my mind
Biting lip
Picking skin
Biting nails

I wasn't made for this life
But I have to live it.

Keep your head up
Tupac

I wish
I hope
I cry
I pray
So hard
I pray

Please be there.
He is
Ramble on
Led Zeppelin

They're there too

Goodnight
It's 10
Ramblings.
Sorry
Jan 2016 · 756
Untitled
Aurora Jan 2016
I don't know why
It happens.
Stress
Being overwhelmed
Tired
Drained
I put myself in gods hands
Why
I believe
He will provide
Will he?
Why
The roof is falling over my head
Will I even have a roof
Will I survive this
My partners hands holding me
I want to break free
From myself
Why
I need to protect myself from
From who
Myself
Me
Myself
And
I.
Help me
Why
I believe
Oct 2014 · 456
Goodnight
Aurora Oct 2014
My insecurities come and beat my skull ,my soul,
To a meaningless pulp.
Even when I am free,
Physically there are no chains,
And I can fly
But,
Mentally I am chained,
*****
Abused
By my own insecurities.
Countless nights, tossing and turning,  I hear her/him.
I am nothing.
There is no love.
There is me, the living ****.
And I do not love thy self.
God has no place in my mind, choosing to rot in my self pity, than to believe.
Choosing to believe the negative than the positive he gives me.
My insecurities beats the **** out of my energy,
Beats the **** out of my love,
Beats the **** out of my being.
Building a wall of thorns and demons,  
There is no escape from it.
There is no savior.
There is only it and myself
Why fight a battle, that's been long lost...
It is morphed and carved into me.
A tattoo that cannot be lasered out.
It is me.
Mine. Thank you
Oct 2014 · 465
J.G
Aurora Oct 2014
J.G
Hey you, with that head full of curls, I love you.
Hey you, with those alluring eyes that hold a secret sparkle, I love you.
Hey you, with that enchanting smile and those deep dimples, I love you.
Hey you, with those broad shoulders and amazing body, I love you.
Hey you, with those strong arms and precious hands, I love you.
Hey you, with those firm thighs and long legs, I love you.
Hey you, with those big perfect feet and **** toes, I love you.
The love we share, is rare.
You hold my heart in the tip of your finger tips,
You hold my soul in the palm of your hand.
You are to me to what a hero is to a child.
My support,
My savior,
My world.
Te amo, con todas mis fuerzas. Tú eres mi luna, mis estrellas, mi galaxia, mi tierra. Sin ti, yo sería un alma perdida, buscando y buscando a través de un agujero oscuro de la esperanza perdida.
Oct 2014 · 307
Lost & Found
Aurora Oct 2014
Her soul was stuck in the lost and found.
her body wondered around,
searching for something, but she didn't know what!

She lived her life at home stuck in a never ending time warp.
Walking down the halls, she looked down,
searching for something, but she didn't know what!

Her friends made her laugh and would bring a small ounce of life and hope into her,
she thought she found it,
but,
it wasn't it.

Her home life would consist if a never ending punishment.
a routine so grey and bland, not the worlds salt, pepper, or seasoning would bring it life.

She searched under rocks and pebbles and came up with nothing.
She settled for less...

He walked among the halls searching,  his hand carrying something precious
but he didn't know to whom it belonged.
His family weighed him down and tired him to the floor,
only looking to the floor
he searched unknowingly.
Moving from state to state, he searched and failed.
Giving up, he held his precious founding in his heart.

Looking down she walked towards her job
Looking down he walked towards his job
Slowly she put her costume on.
Slowly he put his uniform on.
Forcefully smiling, she waved at the little kids and worked.
Forcefully smiling, he helped costumers and worked.

She noticed him and her heart knew.
He noticed her and his heart knew.

My name is...
My name is...

7 days... he gave her his founding...
7 days... she found who had her soul...
the love they have is rare and alien.
but to them, its perfect and limitless.

They were lost,
but they found,
that in each other, they give life, love, and happiness.
mine. Thank you.
Oct 2014 · 2.0k
Between 2 plants
Aurora Oct 2014
Sitting outside, she watches the rain fall down.
she closes her eyes and sniffs the air
Wet Cement... yum.
her thoughts bring her back to earth.
Shutting her eyes tightly, she tries to think about something else
anything else.
because mentally saying goodbye to an old lover/friend/partner,  takes a toll.
She looks are her beautiful garden being watered by mother nature.
She squints as she sees one of her beautiful plant begins to wilt.
running towards him, she tries to save the plant.
digging up the root, running home, and putting in in a ***.
Keeping it safe.
but it's already too late.
she was already too late.
too late to save the plant.
too late to realize her true feelings.
too late to save them.
water drips down her face, she doesn't know if its tears or the rain.
She decides to save the other plant from the rain, but this one, she carefully touched it, carefully places it in the ***.
The plant seems strong, healthy, beautiful.
Sitting in her kitchen,  on that beautiful island top, she stares at these two plants.
Its too late to save one of them, but she saved the other one before anything.  
Her heart turns ans twists that she allowed it to happen to this beautiful plant.
To that beautiful plant.
Too late to save them.
too late to save him.
too late to say im sorry.
friendship tainted,
plant dying,
she places the dying plant outside in the rain.
wiping her face she goes back to her kitchen and sees the healthy plant and smiles.  She had plenty of time to save this one. Her favorite.

A warm arm wraps around her waist and fingers caress her sides.
Heat engulfs her and she feels better.
Turning around,
she faces him.
the plant she saved early.
changes will bring them closer.
Save their root so they can grow healthy.
Love. They have love. The plant had plenty of love.
They hug and entwine like vines.  
She stares at the window and watches the rain continue to fall
but this time, with a smile.
Aug 2014 · 294
Today
Aurora Aug 2014
I am free.
The shackles have been removed
I can dance freely now
I can sing freely now
I can be me.

with my hands in the air, I feel the wind all over my body.
whispering their sweet nothings.

I am free.
Positive light runs through my core
my being
my veins
my heart
With a warm smile, friends gather me up and swallow me in the embrace.

I close my eyes and remember the demons,
my demons,
my family.

theyre gone
you're gone
you're free

No more lies,
just truths.
No more dark,
just light.
No more negative
just positive.

No hate... just love.
From the people that have been with me,
through the ugly and the bad.

Unlimited love.

His love
Her love
Their love.

Love makes her world go round.
Goodbye family.

*I am Free
Mine. Thank you
Aug 2014 · 375
Untitled
Aurora Aug 2014
His laugh is contagious
His smile is beautiful
His voice caresses her
His touch electrifies her.

He is what she wasnt looking for
Jun 2014 · 359
I wish...
Aurora Jun 2014
As I lay here in bed,
I wish for many things.
But one major.
Is to not give a ****.

I try my best to be nonchalant
but deep down, I'm as sensitive as a pregnant woman about her weight.

Giving a ****... takes too much energy.
Energy I could be using for something else,
like sleeping, or eating or sleeping.

Feelings get hurt and emotions get mixed
and by the end of the night,
I'm just a pile of ****.
Because I care too much.

Not showing it is easy.
I laugh it off and continue my business.
But inside,
I'm a bawling mess.

**** me and my emotions.

Sorry for the inappropriate language,
but there's going to be those moments where those words fall out of your mouth faster than snapping your fingers.

Giving a **** is a curse.
Giving a **** is the worst.
I just wish, that i can give that crown to someone else.

Let them give a ****.
****.
****.
****.

... ****, I've said **** a shitload of times... Ha... well...
I'll learn to not care.
Practice makes perfect?
****... I don't even believe in that.
I need a smoke.
Maybe 2 smokes...
or 3...

You judging?
Well HA! I don't give a SH*T
Jun 2014 · 331
Title
Aurora Jun 2014
Running past the gloomy forest
I run from...
Disappointment
Lies
Ugliness
My family

Running without looking back.
Energy and adrenaline pumping through my body.

Looking up I look up at the darkness
Closing my eyes I continue my way,
trying to find the light.
The positive.
The rainbows.

I run,
my feet bleeding
my ankles worn down
my heart pounding
my head dizzy
my resolution, strong.

Keep going

Sweat clouds my vision,
but wait...
What is that?

My feet carry me on as i sigh with happiness.
There is a light in the end of the tunnel.

Closing my eyes,
I say goodbye to the bad,
A smile covers my face and i cant take it off.

Fresh air surrounds me
The light burns my face,
but with pleasure I accept it.

I stop running,
Open my eyes,
and see the sun.
The flowers.
The love,
from friends,
and loved ones.

I take a step forward, but they run to me,
accepting, welcoming.

Closing my eyes for one more time,
I sigh.




*I am home.
Mine. Thank you.
Apr 2014 · 265
full
Aurora Apr 2014
Dreading the closeness
I pulled and pulled away.
Never wanting to give in.
His warmth over powered my cold,
curling away, too shy to ask him to stay,
he covers me without warning.
I arch my back,
protesting,
fighting the light,
fighting with all my might,
to go back to my empty cave.
Going back to the normal.
Going back to who i am.

My walls are breaking.
The cave is crumbling.
The emptiness is filled.
His warmth covers my warmth.
His love covers my love.
No more fighting.
No more resisting.
No more rejecting.
No more cold.
No more empty.

Only Love.
Only him
Mar 2014 · 750
2 years
Aurora Mar 2014
Her soul was a beaten fragile thing in the age of 16.
She was lost.
Emotionally out of control.
Lonely.

Her parents believed she was fine
because she would make them think she was.

Choosing not to have friends.
Choosing to be isolated.
Choosing to let her boyfriend control her.

Choosing to let the Depression eat her alive.

2 years.

It took two years for her to fight back.
Standing up straight,
with the support of her family and help,
She defeated the illness.

She shined like if she was the sun herself.
New friends helped her shine bright
Her family love helped her become strong

Choosing to write down her emotions
Choosing to communicate with her family
Choosing to open up to TRUE friends.

Her smile returns and the future is golden in her eyes.

2 years

She smiles,
but they're small.
She laughs,
but they're light
Her eyes,
have lost something.
She seems... empty.

Lying in bed, soft music playing in the background,
She cries and cries and cries.

She wants to scream, but has no energy.

All she can do is cry,
She thought she beat it,
She thought it was over.

It took two years for her to get better
It took two years for her to get worst

Staring into the ceiling...

She squints and tries to see her future.
Blink
Blink
Blink
Nothing.

The ghost of her 16 year old self lies next to her.
They stare at each other.
Their feelings and ****** expressions mirroring each other.

Holding hands they stare back at the ceiling and think.
*Two Years
Mar 2014 · 378
In the Sea of the Night
Aurora Mar 2014
The stars twinkle.
The moon glows.

Our bare feet touching the rich soil as we make our way,
into the Night.
Holding hands, there's only US.

Our bareness laid out for mother natures taking.
Barely breathing, we make peace with the world.

In the Sea of the Night, as we make our way deeper into the world,
we walk among the wicked and the strange.
Among the poor and the rich.
Among the hollow and gluttony.

With our hands clasped tight,
our love bare
our feet bare
our emotions bare
our bodies bare...

We walk into the sea of the night,
with true love,
as our guiding light.
Mine. Thank you.
Sep 2013 · 980
Smile
Aurora Sep 2013
She thought she loved him.
She thought he was her IT.

Their kisses give her a bad aftertaste.

Slowly she wipes her lips with her hand.

She watches him.
A smile on her lips.
He loves her.
It's obvious.

Does she love him?

His touches make her feel cold and sick.
They're suppose to make her feel warm and loving.

He treats her like a queen.
She treats him like a friend.

What's wrong with her?
Confusion and dishonest surrounds her.

Can she be falling out of love?

No tears come out from her.
A small smile graces her face.

He fights for her, as she walks away.

NO!
NO!
NO!

Please don't leave!
Please don't!

Her shadow turns the corner and disappears.

His shadow beds forward and starts heaving.
His heart broken.
His heart ripped.
His heart stomped.

Please...

A small smile graces his lips.
A small note held tightly in his hand.

She watches,
As he gives a girl a note.

A small frown on her face.
She watches as her loves another girl.
She watches as he showers her with love.

Everyone watches the scene in action.
Her big frowns.
His big smiles.

Regret and bitterness bite her.
Happiness and life carress him.

She misses him.
She misses them.
She misses...

Talks
Arguments
Shouting

His heart belongs to someone else.
She wants his heart.
She takes his heart
And stabs it.

......
..........
911 please state your emergency
....
..........
A small smile graces her lips.
Sep 2013 · 333
What's next?
Aurora Sep 2013
She first tried death.
Dying was the only way to go.
But death had other plans...

She tried running away second.
She would live life  trouble free
She would be happy
She would be free

Is that so bad to want?
To be happy

But they brought her back.

She will never be good enough for them.
She will never be a success for them.

So then why do they continue to bring her back.

She wants to be happy.
She wants to be free.

Someone please let her go.
Cut the strings.
Release her.

But no.

They cling to her.
They hold on tight,
Their claws mark her.

She's their property.
She has no name.
She has no life.
She has nothing.

Back to the cage.
Where he belongs.
Sep 2013 · 682
Alone
Aurora Sep 2013
Family members surround me
They smile and laugh and joke
They hug and kiss and love

I watch them with opened eyes

Only I see the knives on everyone's hand

Each one hugs one another, sliding the knife down their spine.

I shiver.

I move away from everyone.
My family.

I've never heard so much falseness before.
So much fake people
The people I have to call family.

Am I alone?

I stare at everyone and wish we could love freely,
With no hate
With no backstabbing
With no ****.

I feel like I'm on T.V
Someone give me a script.

I watch and frown

Am I alone?

Sisters laughing, but their eyes are dead.
Brothers grinning, but their smiles are dangerous.
Mother is smiling, but there's a glaze in her eyes.
Father is hugging, but his hugs are loose.

I can't be here.
I didn't sign up for this role.

They all look at me with disdain.
With disgust.

At least they all have something in common.

Their hatred for me.
Sep 2013 · 1.3k
Guilt
Aurora Sep 2013
Lying down,
I feel it worst
Like fire licking up my body,
It burns.

Make this stop
Please make it stop .

My body is numb.
I can't move.

I scream inside for help

you deserve no help, you earned this

My heart beats loud
Loud
Louder

My screams are silenced by the beats

No one hears

The guilt crushes my chest
My heart
My lungs

I reach out
No ones there

you're on your own

you deserve this

you asked for this

It was all an accident

you were careless... You deserve it

My breathing stops.
The fire of guilt consumes my body, mind and soul.

*i deserve this
Sep 2013 · 375
Troubled
Aurora Sep 2013
If I would have known I was going to be this much trouble,
I would have crawled back into my moms womb.

If I knew I was going to be this much trouble,
I would never want to learn to talk

If I knew I was going to be this much trouble,
I would have never learned how to walk.

If I knew I was going to be a mistake,
I would have stopped swimming and drown.

I'm a kid, that still doesn't know what to do.

My age screams responsibilities
My eyes whisper I'm trying

But in the end of it all

In the eyes of everyone
I'm
Just
Trouble.
Mar 2013 · 436
The game
Aurora Mar 2013
You
Yeah you
With the insanely big eyes and head full of curls.
You drive me wild.

Your secret smiles to me.
Your winks and touches.

I try not to shiver, but I do.
You always win in that game.

I'll win one day.
You'll see.

Hey! What are you doing!
This isn't part of the game.
Get up!
No no no
Not on ur knee!
Oh
My
God..

That's a beautiful ring.

The fit is beautiful.

Walking down the isle.

The feeling of your ring going down my back as you undress me.

The feeling of our rings clashing as you hold my hand, this baby of yours is trying to break me.

I look at you holding our bundle of love.
You're shaking, scared of dropping him.
Your tears run down your face.
You're like a broken record declaring your love for me.
I stroke your cheek,
And with a smirk, I know I won the war.
Mar 2013 · 1.0k
Blind
Aurora Mar 2013
The ocean waves crash against the sharp rocks.
The smell of the ocean is sweet and salty.
The air roars in my ears, harsh.
Looking down I see my future.
I see
I see
I see
Nothing.

I close my eyes and wonder,
When did I become gullible?
When did I become stupid?
Why did I believe so many lies?

I've been blind folded by rainbows and love.
I've been blinded by your mean smiles, thinking they were honest and beautiful.

Adults telling me that I am free.
Only to have an iron handcuff on my wrist and chains around my ankles.
Free?
There is no freedom here.
Not in my town,
Not in my house.

Surrounded by disappointment and lies.

Take a dee breath.

Well no more.
I will not be mute.
naive.
A doormat.

I open my eyes, the blind fold falling and crashing against the waves.

I see my future.
I see my life.
I see.
Mine. Thank you.
Feb 2013 · 457
Why a title?
Aurora Feb 2013
A poem is a poem!
Why is there a need for a title?
Silly little title.
Go away!

Poems are written deep within,
Is there a need for a title of your soul?

Poems speak what you're too afraid to say!
Why put a title on it!

Title, you may go.
There is no need for you to stamp me with judgement.

I say you my go!

Poems are what you want to shout. Express. Whisper.

Title you ruin it!

But

The title does let people know what it's about...
Maybe
You can stay little title line.... Maybe
Mine. Thank you.
Feb 2013 · 474
Strong feelings
Aurora Feb 2013
The feeling of dancing around to no music is strong.
The feeling of wanting to draw a weird monster is strong.
Agh!
I sound like a bird?
Caw caw caw
Painting someone's face is making my fingers twitch with happiness, they asked for a tiger, I'm making them a fish.
Why not?
The feeling of digging my toes under my mattress is not the same as the sand, but close.
My fingers fly against the keys on my piano, closing my eyes I smile, it's ugly the music I'm trying to make, it doesn't make sense, but it does.
The feelings of cooking toasts and spaghetti, people wonder why, I say why not?
The world behind closed doors is colorful and amazingly vivid. Shiny and soft and beautiful, once someone sees it, the beauty stops, it's the rooms secret.
The feeling of making love to you're one.
In your dream.
The feeling of acting on purpose I see how others react
The feeling of creating chaos in the house.
My inside twist and turn and eyes glaze over.
Happiness hasn't touched me completely, but I'm trying.
Feb 2013 · 845
Trapped
Aurora Feb 2013
Everyone around her laughs
She smiles on the outside,
But,
On the inside she's clueless
what am I doing?
what's going on?
Her parents think she is the sun
Her friends think she is the light
She thinks she's the rain, the calm before the storm
Her true feelings, trapped
Her true self, trapped.
She laughs in public
But alone she frowns
Her thoughts spin and spin and spin
Suicide
Depressed
Self harm
She closes her eyes and it's black
The color she feels on the inside.
How can I go out?
.......
.......
.......
The sun breaks through her shell.
Her eyes are blinded underneath her eyelids.
what's going on?
Squinting
She sees.
Her family and friends stare at her. Chanting and cheering their love, their appreciation towards her.
Her life is worth living.
She's not done living.
She hasn't even lived.
They take her by the hand and through there, through the tight bond they formed, she finds the light from her darkness.
Tears come down and she laughs.
Never has she felt this.
Overwhelmed, she starts breathing quickly.
They stare at her with concern.
Her heart constricts painfully.
Can you die from being too loved?
She smiles and feels at peace.
Sirens
Yelling
Screaming
Sobbing
Crying
She stares at them,
don't cry she whispers.
Everything stops.
She takes one last breath and smiles.
Outside
You see her body go slack
Her heart no longer beats
She no longer breathes.
Her house is quiet.
Everyone trying to be quiet,
Tryin to be secretive,
Trying to decorate the house with balloons and cake and hats.
Everyone giggles thinking she's going to be surprised.
Happy birthday.
No sound
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Silence.
They open her door.
Sirens
Yelling
Screaming
Sobbing
Crying.
Oct 2012 · 1.0k
Slave
Aurora Oct 2012
The mind, my mind, betrays me.
No longer am I happy.
Sick.
Sad.
Mean thoughts,
run through my mind.
Headaches are too painful to stay awake.
I no longer smile for me.
I no  longer am free to think what I want.
My mind takes charge
problems
sadness
unhealthy.

Help me.
Someone please help me?

A tiny voice whispers to talk.
Talk to someone

I ignore this.
no one will listen.
I will be institutionalized.
Committed.

Help me.
I am a slave to my depression.
Nov 2011 · 1.6k
That's that.
Aurora Nov 2011
I look up at the sky and see red.
I look at the grass and see black
I look at the banana and see purple.

What?
The sky is not blue!
Pfft! Green grass! nonsense!
That banana... that one that is on top of the pink table, is yellow! LIES!
That table is brown?! Now I know you're crazy!

Eyebrows furrowed
Pursed lips.
Aching head.

No.

Don't tell me what's what!
Stop telling me what to think!

The sky is red.
The grass is black.
The banana is purple.

No...
Stop...
Please...
Let me be....

What's that scary machine...
It's hurting my head...

The sky is red.
The grass is black.
The banana is yellow.

The sky is red.
The grass is black?
The banana is yellow.

The sky is blue.
The grass is green.
The banana is yellow.

I sit in class a stare ahead.
I don't think.
I don't act.
I don't ...

I am a good girl.
Mine. Thank you.
Nov 2011 · 613
Oh no...
Aurora Nov 2011
Hatred.
Your voice makes me cringe.
Your face makes me wince.

Turn around
Stop looking.

Name calling
Faces made.

You smile and laugh at me.
My body turns red and I feel red.

It makes the fire spread.
....

1 dream.
1 very stupid dream...
What does it mean?

An innocent kiss that isn't real.
A powerful and strong hug that is just my imagination.

Why...
when I think of you...
I smile?

This is crazy.
I'm crazy.

Uh oh...
The same dream tonight?
Why am I smiling?
I hate you.
Why does my stomach flutter thinking about you.
You disgust me.
Leave me and my head alone... Get out of my dreams.
....

You're my prince charming,
but in reality,
you're the villain.

Laughing an evil laugh,
Laughing a beautiful laugh.
No.
No.
No.

Go away.

*stay
Mine. Thank you.
Oct 2011 · 588
Right or Left?
Aurora Oct 2011
Am I a joke?

I look around
my family is
laughing at me.

When I am myself...
They hate me.
They question me.
They ignore me.
I'm no one.

When I'm someone else...
They love me.
The laugh at/with me.
They hug me.
They want me with them.
I'm not ignored.

Who should I be?

I look to the right and see
clown shoes, wigs, makeup.

I look to my left and see
converse, sweaters, journals.

To be noticed or not,
by my family?

......

I finish tying up my shoes and look up
to the mirror.
I want to cry.
The wig itches,
Clown shoes are uncomfortable,
Make up makes me look ugly.

When will I stop wanting love from my family?
When will I stop yearning to be noticed by them?
When will I get to be me?

I am pathetic

**Open Curtains
Mine, thank you.
Oct 2011 · 734
A Night To Remember
Aurora Oct 2011
I feel your eyes.
Following me.
Watching me.
It makes my belly tingle with anticipation
Will you come to me?
  Will you buy me a drink?
Offer a smoke?

I sit on the far left side of the bar.
The band that is playing
makes the whole bar sway
with its trumpet and saxophone.

Soft cold fingers,
glide up and down,
circling,
my bare back.

"Hello."

His voice is rich and masculine.
Deep and musky.

I feel a tingle in my belly again.

Turning my head a little
I smell sweet cologne,
my lips part open.

"May I buy you a drink?"

I cant talk.
I nod instead.

Gin & tonic.

The night plays on
with flirtatious smiles and winks.
Laughter and light touches.

I burn when he touches my hand,
neck,
cheek.

Will this go on?
I look around and notice
the bar is basically
empty.

"Come home with me beautiful"

The night continues on
and as I take a cab home the following morning,
I touch my lips and smile.
Do I regret last night and this morning?
No, no I don't.
Will I ever regret it?
I took out a smoke and lit it,
No, I don't think so.
Mines. Thank you
Oct 2011 · 619
True story
Aurora Oct 2011
Dull life.
Boring routine.
Sleep.
School.
Eat.
REPEAT.
I glare at the repeat button in my life.
IS there a way to destroy that button?
...
Sleep.
School.
Eat.
REPEAT
...
Standing on my toes,
I reach up,
with a bat,
to destroy,
that button.
...
Obsession is unhealthy,
I can feel it in my bones.
...
Sleep.
School.
Eat.
REPEAT.
....
The tip of the bat,
barley touches it...
C'mon, you can do it
Encouragement makes me falter.
I fall.
...
Sleep.
School.
Eat.
REPEAT...
In the end...
In my dreams...
when I sleep....
There is no routine,
and I am me.
Mine, thank you.
Sep 2011 · 538
end
Aurora Sep 2011
end
Your tears mean nothing to me.
Your gifts mean nothing.
Your "I'm sorry" are heard by deaf ears.

LEAVE ME ALONE

you said what you wanted to say.
I don't want your words.
You did what you wanted to do,
the actions hurt me.

Is wasting your time fun?
Is wasting my time entertaining for you?

LEAVE ME ALONE

Your whispers and kisses are nothing.
YOU are nothing to me.
You will never be something to me.

You thought you could play with fire?
Guess again.

You're done.
I'm done.

IT's done.
Mine. Thank you.
Aug 2011 · 539
Stay
Aurora Aug 2011
My chest begins to burn.
My head begins to hurt.
Is this our final goodbye?
I close my eyes
You hug me with all your might.

Please don't go.
Please stay.
My heart can't stand it.
It's breaking.

A kiss on my lips,
A kiss on my cheeks.
You kiss my tears away.

Throat closes,
as broken sobs erupt from me.
Please....
Don't.....
Go.....
Mine. Thank you
Aug 2011 · 563
four walls
Aurora Aug 2011
Looking around,
I see four walls.

I close my eyes and imagine.

Being free is all I want.
Being me is all I have.

Yells and crashes wake me.

I am stuck.
Jailed in my own home.
Forced smiles hurts my face.
Forced laughs hurt my chest.

When can I be me?
when will I be free?

Looking around
I see four walls.

Looking around,
I see a window.

Looking around
....
I found my escape.
Mine. Thank you
Aug 2011 · 618
Summer
Aurora Aug 2011
The sun beams down on me.
It touches my brown hair,
and turns red.
I could feel the heat on my naked shoulders
arms,
and legs.
Sweat builds up on my forehead,
upper lip,
and chest.
Pure torture.

Drinking ice cold lemonade.
Wincing, I bite my lip,
the ice tickled my tooth.

I drink.
I sigh.

When will it end?
Mine. Thank you,
Aug 2011 · 507
Hope
Aurora Aug 2011
People see the scars on my wrist.
People see the scars on my thighs.

You saw the scars in my heart.
Mine. Thank you.
Jun 2011 · 720
Help
Aurora Jun 2011
I watch as you suffer.
Let me help you
You shake your head and corner yourself.
I want to love you
Your broken sobs break me into pieces.
Let me love you
I'm unlovable
I grab your hands and kiss them.
I love you with all my being, let  me help you
I grab you and crash my lips to yours.
Your whimpers are your defeat.
You kiss back with passion.
Tongues are thrown and caressed.
**Help me
Aurora
Jun 2011 · 597
Where were you?
Aurora Jun 2011
You said you'd be there for me.
You promise to talk to me, to never walk out.

Well....

Where are you!
My house is a mess.
Parents arguing
dishes being broken
Little sisters whimpering and hiding,

I need you...
I reached out for your help ...
WHERE ARE YOU!

Calls are dead.
Texts never returned.
Are you hiding?

I've been there for you since day 1.
I had your back when my family bad mouthed you.
I took your hand and stayed with you.
no matter what.
I promised.

I've been selfless for you.
I was immature and naive to believe your lies and empty promises.
Whenever you needed me, I was there.
Your family had issues, I spent every penny I had, to distract you.
Your therapy sessions was always on my calender.
I did this... because I loved you.

You said you loved me?
Prove it...
Show it...

RING
RING
RING

I laugh, you're nowhere.
__

Tears are constantly falling.
You told me those things ...
Just to ...
get ...
laid?
.......
My hand hurts. from slapping you.
My eyes hurt. from crying over you
My stomach hurts. from throwing up
My heart hurts. from you ripping it out

Where were you when I needed you once in my life?
Out, trying to get the new game, to show it off, to your friends.

It was "More important than anything. I'm not sorry. Your family is complicated and I don't want to get involved. I just ... you looked like an easy lay... to bad you aint." - (ex, who should remain nameless)

Thanks.
Hope one day he reads this.
Auroras.
Thanks.
Jun 2011 · 653
Tragic to happiness.
Aurora Jun 2011
Blood.
I see it.
I'm covered with it.

Breathless pants are in the air as oxygen decreases.
His gun is almost smoking.
The hole in my stomach is leaking.

He said he loved me, forever and always
......

Voices are heard.
Screaming
Yelling
Whispers
Cries.

Everything is a blur... darkness consumes me again.
......

I didn't understand you doctor.
Can you speak up?
..
I lost my baby?
How?
My husband.shot.me?
.......

Remembering hurts.  
Shouts and whimpers.
His screams overwhelmed me.
A shot was heard.
Pain,
burn,
discomfort.
......

Hospitals should burn,
I watch as they check my heart rate
I watch as they drug me
I watch as they shove the flowers on the counter.
I watch my flat stomach... flat .. empty.. stomach.
......
Time to go home?
I don't have a home.
My home shot me.
My home killed our baby.
My home is rotting away in jail.
......................................................
Plac­ing my hand on my full round belly
I smile and watch my tears land on it.
Another set of hands land on my own.
My new home smiles and his own tears fall.
....
Screams fill the air.
Curses and death threats are shouted.
shrieks and cries fill the air.
..
Welcome to the world my baby.
Aurora May 2011
******* with a girls emotions
should be illegal.
You say "I love you"
One day
You say "We won't last long"
The next.

You kiss me
as if it's our last.
You hug me
as if the world was going to end.

Our last kiss made me breathless.
Our last kiss was the last.

No phone call.
No letter.
Nothing.

Am I overreacting?
Or ....?

You make me feel special.
Then
You make me feel like an idiot.

Am I?

I come over your house.
You're alone.

OH.
Wait...

You're not.

I see you kissing
that girl.

You stare at me like if I was some ghost.
I run
run
run.

Next time I tell him *just stab me in the eye and then in the heart."
Aurora.
May 2011 · 585
Future on the beach
Aurora May 2011
The beach
The waves.
The birds.

Lying face down,
she smiles
as the sun
kisses her back

Waves crash
onto
a male's
body.

Starstruck
his eyes
are stuck
to her body.

Her dark hair
dances
around
and shines
like the sun
itself.

His heart beats
fast.
faster.
fast.

Is this love at first sight?
Or
Is this lust are first sight?

She grins,
knowing he's
looking.

She watched him
ride those waves
like if he was the
god of the ocean.

Her mouth dropped
when he would smile.
Her heart hammered
when he would look her way.

Turning,
she stood up and stretched.
She watched him
watching her.

Confidence boosted,
she walked toward him.
**
"And that is how mommy and daddy met!" The father smiled.
His baby cooed and smacked his wrist.
Looking up, he saw his wife walking toward them.
Her hair up in a bun
The sun kissing her shoulders.
Her smile wide.

She ran to her family
And as a family,
they ran down the beach
and into the cool water.
Apr 2011 · 585
Color.
Aurora Apr 2011
You painted me with colors of life.
Red
Orange
Yellow.
You made me glow.
As if I was an angel.

Your lips barely touching mine.
You make me want to beg.
I never beg.

Your feather touches sooth me.
Your dominating embrace makes me blush.

I am an innocent mortal
compared
to your wicked magic.

"Love me"
Shaking your head.
Kissing
my
forehead.

frustration takes whole in me.
Why can't you love me?

You painted me dark.
Navy Blue
Grey
black.
You're magic no longer works.
You paint me rainbows.

more.

You painted  me pink.
you love me.
accept it.
accept me.

I'll be behind you.
Beside you.

Magenta.
White
green.
Innocent. Blushing. Eyes.

I want to be with you.
You caress me with your brushes.
You lick me with your paint.

Paint me.

You don't.

Your hands manipulate the brush.
Your paint stroke my body and yours.

Tears.

You painted us...

**Forever you own my heart
Aurora. Everyone is allowed to be cheesy once in a while.
Apr 2011 · 1.7k
Bond
Aurora Apr 2011
Innocent giggles float around the house.
A child's laughter has no comparison.
A mother with her playful finger whispers
Come out Come out
wherever you
are.

The little girl's squeals get her discovered,
She's too excited too happy.
GOTCHA!
The mother and daughters relationship
is golden.

A daughter is hiding.
She's panting.
Nervous
Scared.

COME OUT! COME OUT!
WHEREVER
YOU ARE!


The daughter cries.
Her hiding place is discovered.
A child's whimper is like a whip
on a bare back.

We were so close.
Best friends.
Our bond is .. was golden.
Now it's rotten.

She use to look at her daughter with love.
Now, it's disgust, dislike, irritation.

Mother and daughter use to share everything.
Now, they barely speak.

Daughter loved her mom.
Now, she's confused.

Looking down at her mom's
body.
She no longer breathes.
She's in a sleep that she'll never
ever
wake up from.
The daughter accepts strangers sorry's.
Tears and emotions overwhelm her.
Why did their bond grow cold and sour?
She didn't know.
"I miss you mom." she whispered.
She watched as they lowered mothers body down
to the cold
hard
Earth.

Feelings of regret flood her vision, mind and soul.

"Mommy."
Daughter looks down at her own daughter,
she smiles.

No matter what.
No matter how hard.
No matter...
She'll never break her golden bond
with her baby girl.
Her daughter.
Aurora
Apr 2011 · 477
One lie.
Aurora Apr 2011
It all started with one lie.
One little tiny lie.
A deceit.
A
white
stupid
lie.
                                                              We yelled.
                                                              Screamed.
                                                              Got in each
                                                               others face.
                                                          The truth comes out.
                                                                He's silent with,
                                                                pained filled eyes,
                                                              While my apology,
                                                               drowns in my own,
                                                                         Tears.


Have you ever lied to a loved one?
Have they forgiven you?
Let's hope they do.

I don't think...
I'll ever ...
Find ...
....
Love again.
Apr 2011 · 592
Who wins?
Aurora Apr 2011
Eyes battle for dominance.

He gives her his best.
She's looks like she's not even trying.

He gives her his smoldering eye.
She arches an eyebrow.

He feels his forehead damp with sweat.
Too hot.
He doesn't give up.

I have to win

Her nerves are chewing at her core.
Her knees are trembling slightly.

She sees his eyes spark with a fire.
An all too familiar fire.
A fire, that is calling her.
She arches an eyebrow.
Trying to keep it cool.

I'm going to lose

The two lovers sit closer and closer
to each other
until
they're sharing
breaths.

He feels liquid heat explode in his body.
She feels her insides flying.

"You win!" they both shout out,
As he grabs her back and kisses her.
She holds on to his hair.

Soft and rough groans,
fill the hot
summer
air.  

                                   I guess couples shouldn't play staring contest...
                                                      ­            
                                                    ­                naked.
Mar 2011 · 6.0k
May The Force Be With You
Aurora Mar 2011
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars

Yoda
Yoda
Yoda
Yoda
Yoda
Yoda

Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth Vader             = Anakin
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth Vader
Darth Vader

Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars
Star Wars


S
T
A
R

W
A
R
S
=
Watched this movie about ... 15 times in a week and it still watching it.
Mar 2011 · 781
A teens love life.
Aurora Mar 2011
I watch as you walk around school.
I watch as you smile at people.

Closing my eyes.
I fantasize.

You come straight to me.
You smile at me.
hug me.
kiss me.
love me.

I open my eyes and sigh.

You own my heart lover boy.

When will you let me own yours?

*
Your eyes are surveying the room.
Look at me
Your attention is caught by your friend.
pay attention to me

You laugh at him and continue to look around our class.

My heart thumps hard.
My blood feels like a freeway.
My head is turning.

Believe it or not.
He's dazzling me.
And he doesn't even know
it.

Eyes clash with mine.

It's
his
eyes.

Turn away.
Turn away.

I can't.

Hot.
The class turned
1000 degrees hotter.

He smiles.

I think
I stopped
breathing.

Run.
Run.
Run.
***
I'm grounded for ditching school.
I'm sick.
and it's Saturday.

Cough.
Cough.
Gag.

There's knocking.
Knock.
Knock.

No ones home except me.
Can someone tell me,
why me?

This can't be.
It's him.

He shoves a book in my hand.
It's my math book.
I look up.

He smiles at me.

I think i fainted.

How pathetic am I?
Mar 2011 · 514
Companionless
Aurora Mar 2011
Alone
I shiver.
Alone
I cry.
Alone
I drink.
Alone
I die.

Alone.
Alone.
Alone.

Family dies.
Mom died.
Pops died.

Only child.
Lonely child.

Looking down,
see the ocean.
Never learned
how to swim.

Goodbye loneliness.
Feb 2011 · 641
The Wind
Aurora Feb 2011
GO AWAY WIND!

I hate the sound of the windows rattling.
I hate seeing the way the palm trees sway.

My teeth rattle, but not from the cold.
I stay away from noise and hear music.

1...
2...
3...
4...

BANG!

Oh no.
My window flew open.
Running.
I run across the room to close them.
I see the palm trees sway dangerously close,
to my house.

GO AWAY WIND!

I slam the window shut.
I could hear your whistling from the outside.
You're making fun of me.
I hear your whoosh.
It sounds like the devil's laugh.

"Distract me please!" I cry to a friend.
"Why?"
"Because I'm terrified of the wind."

She cackles and ends the call.

Hanging my head.
I feel ashamed.
I'm acting like a child.

Whoosh
Whistle
Whoosh

1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6­...

BANG!
Oh no.
Mine. Thank you.
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