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Alcohol is a poison
You will fade away
We have all seen good men and woman
Wasting day after day

Addiction is a curse
One you can't escape
Every night I contemplate
Rolling the dice of fate

The bottle in my left hand
The trigger in my right
Throw away my future
Or choose to die tonight
The carpet is frayed in the hallway
And the nails along the walls are facing upwards
As reminders that any attempt to
Unearth the secrets swept beneath them
Will result in ****** hands
And the closet door in the bathroom
Is hanging off the hinges
From the time your stepmother tried
To hide her boyfriend in there
And your father threw it open
As a reminder that closets
Are cliché places to keep skeletons
And the red smear beside the toilet
Is the result of your father's fists
Breaking blood vessels and skin
As a reminder that even ghosts
Can leave behind stains
And the glass window in the bedroom is splintered
From the time your father had a nightmare
And thought the house was on fire
As a reminder that sometimes
We burn from the inside
And there's a hole in your bedroom wall
From the time your brother put his fist through it
As a reminder that walls are the only things that stand between
Yourself and every version of yourself that
You've tried to hide within them.
I have always believed that it is possible to see through the defenses of those who keep secrets tucked into their back pockets like wallets with a little more cash than they are comfortable with, if one is willing to look closely enough. It is apparent in their heavy eyelids, as though the weight of what they are carrying is resting on their eyelashes. It is apparent in the curve of their lips, and the way they are not able to smile to their fullest potential. It is apparent in their hands, and the way they are not able to hold anything, as though their fingers are already full. However, I never realized that it was also possible to notice leaves clutching secrets to their chests like keepsake necklaces passed down by their great-grandmothers until one afternoon when I was walking between two bushes. My feet were carrying me lackadaisically down the sidewalk toward my dormitory when something to my right caught my eye. Among a congregation of green leaves, I noticed one blushing sinner. She sat in the center, as though she was attempting to blend in, but her pink cheeks made her stand out from the rest. When everyone stood in unison, she followed a few seconds behind. When everyone clutched hymns and bibles in their hands, she tied her fingers in knots to appear busy. When everyone partook in communion, she bit her lip quietly. But there was something about the way she held her hands in her lap, with her palms pressed together and her fingers interlocked, and the way she wore her hair behind her shoulders in curls that made me want to get to know her and every secret she kept tucked beneath the belt of her summer dress. But we don’t always get the pleasure of conversing with sinners, and we often are not even willing to have those conversations with ourselves.
You grabbed me by the arm
Pulled me down to the bed
Pressing your lips fiercely against mind
Blocking any words from escaping
You had no desire to know
Any whom had been you before

Your head rests on my chest
Curled up against me
The perfect kind of warmth
I ask you for a name
You let out a laugh
And said I needn't worry about that

We fall asleep in each other's arms
Peace at last
The perfect end to a wild night
And when I awake, you are gone
Nothing remains but the scratches on my back
And the haunting smell of roses, lingering in my bed
Childhood innocence
What a beautiful thing
Back when Papa was a super hero
Mama tucked you into bed every night
And getting high, was something you did with a swing
Everything was exciting and new
Imaginations ran wild
That run down shack in the woods?
A castle, perfect for games of war

Adolescence was miserable
Such a horrible time
Papa wasn't there; the bar was his domain
Mama smoked to much and cried herself to sleep every night
And pills were popped every night, just to survive
It was so hard to find a smile
Everything seemed empty and fake
And that shack in the woods?
Used now only for the least personal kind of date

High school's end was a blessing
Though its a surprise you made it out alive
Papa was gone, he never even called
And mama was drunk, she couldn't handle it all
Living such a burden, so hard for you to do
Life seemingly hopeless, no joy around for you
So you went back to that shack in the woods, for the very last time
And left this world behind you, one pill at a time
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