We cooked Mac n cheese and you grabbed my waist.
We kissed like we were each others oxygen,
Like we hadn’t breathed since the last time,
Like our lungs craved the other’s breath.
You felt warm and safe,
As the thunder rolled,
You held me closer.
You felt like home.
We played house for a night,
And I saw what the rest of my life could look like.
But I knew that’s al we were doing,
Just playing.
Even tho it felt so right,
I knew it was just the moment.
So I woke in the morning,
Your warm body next to mine,
Kissed your sleeping soul one last time,
And closed that night in these words that I write.

I’m a stay for the last song,
Even if it means we get home late.
Cry because the moment is too perfect.
Miss you after the drive home.
Always down for anything.
Skinny dip in the lake.
Kiss you on the lips and laugh.
Kinda person.

It’s 3am
And I’m eating cereal in bed.
My thoughts wander
But always come back to you.
You’re why I can’t sleep.
You’re why sometimes I can’t breathe.
You’re why my cereal went soggy.

I've been lost, like really lost.
Like lonely lost,
Like empty lost,
Like numb lost.
So many things are changing,
And I'm so empty and sad.
Things are so complicated right now,
Right always.

You are thousands of miles away,
And I can not even hear your voice,
Yet I can feel your hands trembling.
I worry about you,
Far more than I should.
Do not apologize for being exhausted,
For it is about time you let go.
Give yourself a break.
Breathe the ocean air that surrounds you,
And let go of everything.

writing everything down,
feeling it one last time,
so I can let my words do the remembering
and let my mind replace the memories with new better love.

My days would begin and end in bed.
I would not have the strength to go on with life.
I would not cry, I would be in too much pain to cry.
I would not eat, I would be in too much pain to eat.
I would not sleep, for my thoughts would consume my mind to the point where I could not shut them off.
I would not speak, nor feel. I numb myself.
I would be broken.
I would be lost.
You have been in my life for such a short time that these ideas are not justifiable,
but they are real.
And I would not "go to your funeral"
I would be in too much pain.
I would not be able to see all those people who love you missing you.
Because I could not bear missing you that much more.
I would not be able to bear the fact that when they reminisce about your life I would not be mentioned.
Because I was a dot on your line of life,
While you were my entire line.