Today marked the first time
I used a pipe cleaner

For its actual purpose 

And suddenly

A simple action

Turned momentous.

I found the furred wire

In an old box of crafts

My mother had saved
From elementary school projects.


As I prodded the pipe

With the cleaner that was only ever
Supposed to be used
To bend into bracelets,
I couldn’t help thinking of you.

I used to only find kisses 

In cartoon form:
Stickers attached
To the backs of coloring books
.

My greatest childhood love?
Flipping on a flashlight to
Devour my latest book
Well past my bedtime.

So clean,
So pure,
So bliss.

So scrubbing away resin
Feels akin to washing away sins
Because like Adam and like Eve
Somewhere along the line
I lost my innocence.

Time stops
when you
text.

Tea is so soothing
Like a mother in a cup
Whose simple touch heals.

Like my old sweater,
You cloaked me in words but let
My emotions pill.

Raindrops do not drown
When they hit the rough ocean -  
They add to madness.

Like autumn rains
You surprised me
And I got caught in
Your gusts of color —

So I outstretched my arms
Embraced the cataclysmic chaos
Jumped into piling leaves
Adding my own imprint
To the rusting gold collage.

Every morning before school
My grandma would cup exactly
Five almonds into my palm
And with her signature smile
She’d beam proud wrinkles
And she’d steadily say:
That’s heart and brain food
That’s what you need to eat
To get ahead in this man’s world
That’s nature’s secret medicine.

And six years later
I’ve kept up the almond habit
Turning it into a thing of tradition
Toasting her words because
She taught me the most important marriage
Is between my passion and knowledge.