I'm nocturnal
But I'm glowing inside.
One may not see
Looking from the outside.
Upside and down
Side to side
Confusion all around.
Angry in retrospect
No longer more
I found the confidence
To break away from this internal state of war.
And to explore,
How to love
The joys of a stable core.
Solitude a welcoming friend
I failed to comprehend,
I'm sorry dear one
It was you I needed to work on all along.
Neglecting you were here for the long run,
allowing external influences
To consume, engulf, dictate,
What I was when it was you
But you are me and I am you.
I shall not forget the mark you leave
Because without you I'll give in
To all my insecurities.
Destroying us,
Like a crumbling statue
Leaking water and all that spews.
No longer will I be whole.
Who is you?
For you are not a person.
Non-exsistent.
You're my self-worth, my credence
My internal self.
And till today you belonged detached,
Mismatched, unattached.
And I shall obliterate,
that cognitive state.
For this weak flame shall smother,
And burn bright for those who wish to see.
You are my definitions
My interests, hobbies, passions
Replies and reactions.
You are the tastes buds I so dearly love.
The endless daydreams I conjure
My demure,
For you are me when I am secure.