Blank..
blanking out.
it seems to be my mind state,
at least when i bounce back from feeling irate.
Its not hate that gets me into this mind frame.
its just a shame that i'm stuck within this life game.
Another same day just like the last.
Never really knowing if this moment will pass.
All i can do..
is become part of the void,
just a toy in the ploy of somebody else's joy.
Not My own.
i live in desolate zones.
All alone.
Free of clones..
but always surrounded by them.
As they constitute the laws so i could be governed by them.
i could be me,
as long as its appropriate to them.
If i'm true to myself, it'll count as a sin.
Everyone is assigned a designated identity.
Always remember who that is if you want friends instead of enemies.
Be yourself to the extent its allowed.
Don't rock the boat, unless your ready to drown..
or swim oceans for years. until the idea of stable lands bring you to tears.
Just be safe.
just be happy.
deny that life can be ******.
dont be be you.
dont even find out who that is.
live the status quo, and treat people and life like a business.
Or swim until your lungs collapse.
Or swim hard and fast until you create a tsunami smash, and take back some land.
Create your own laws.
Live your own life.
The life you were meant for.
The life we all want but think impossible.
create it....
Or choose how you would like this journey to end...
Spiritually or physically.

My stomach is bleeding out. I didn't scream or shout. Just watched my guts flow. Easing my worries of doubt. Because teetering on the edge, of if i'm alive or if i'm dead, Felt like a virus that just continued to spread. So where am i now? witnessing my pathway from hell, Out of this cell, into heaven. Hearing heavens bells tell me, that it'll all be alright. That i'm done with my sentence. That i'm done with these nights, of battling hell's trolls and smoking bowls to revive my soul. Im just bleeding out this venom so that i can finally know peace. So i watch it flow. My body already knows, that this soul has over powered this devils mold. Feeling the peace in my pain. Lightheaded and being drained. The sane'est moment i've claimed, watching my body dying while content in my brain. i often wondered... whether this would ever happen.... So i wanna be present, and make sure my bodies passin.... Passin these earthly classes.... passin all of the pain.. epassinnn thsss exiizztence..

into the heavenly