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kristine marie Jun 2013
The Trouble With Assumptions
come when no words are spoken,
But plenty are implied.

The crash of her lips and
Her nicotine tongue
had me feeling five times sprung.
And I didn’t know it at the time,
but my feelings towards her were hanging
Loosely on an invisible line
And I’d have never known,
had her lips not met mine.

If anything, I knew the Ice Queen
Was trouble upon our first meeting.
Somewhere deep down, I knew
With all of the fire within me,
that she’d burn me to a fine dust,
Sprinkle me around until
I found some place to rest.

I didn’t know what to expect the first time
she grabbed my hand.
It was gratifying, electric,
like magnets, all over magnetic.
She toted me and joked with me,
indefinitely filled me with glee.

But she was distant and reserved,
and I hardly had the nerve
to try and pick apart her brain
and unravel her pretty thoughts.

I assumed that her head was a beautiful mess,
much like my own.
I assumed that she sought thrills from things
Much too dangerous for someone of her size,
and that she didn’t care either way -
she’d been through enough already.
Or so I liked to think.

See, I still don’t know the Ice Queen.
I know the gentle caress of her fingertips,
her breath, hot on my neck,
the curve of her lips and their cotton candy tinge.
I know the curves of her waist,
the arch of her spine,
the softness of her hair,
and the little sparkles in her eyes,
But I still do not know her.
written in april 2013; 3/3 of a series.
kristine marie Jun 2013
Smoke and mirrors
and other illusionist effects,
are what the Ice Queen surely knows best.

She’s the queen of the chill,
the master of disguise.
Even after a year, I can’t tell when
She lies.

She’s got me fooled, the Ice Queen does,
wrapped around her perfectly manicured finger,
Dangling and swinging in any direction that she pleases.
I suppose I deserve it,
Being used and mentally abused by a girl
So cold in her own world of make-believe gold.

I didn’t know it then, and I still don’t know it now,
but her heart must look much like mine,
All but ready to be six feet into the ground.

She sits there against the brick,
legs crossed on the ground.
Her cancer cane dangles between her fingers
as she inhales and the ends flame.
Smoke veils around her face as I sit to the side,
while my mind begins to race.
She turns to me and puts her hand on my knee,
whispers something sweet,
“I think it’d be quite nice for both our lips to meet.”

With those green eyes and that devilish grin,
her hand went to my neck and she slowly pulled me in.
We crashed with a burn, heated tingles on my tongue;
She tasted of smoke, and I knew our fun had just begun.
She pulled away with that same sinister grin,
and I thought that maybe,
just maybe,
she’d let me in.
written in april 2013; 2/3 of a series.
kristine marie Jun 2013
They say that fire and ice don’t mix;
“They are opposites, two different sides of the spectrum,”
But I guess no one ever thought of them as anything more than elements.

When you burn, the fire sears your skin,
melts, stripping new layer after new layer,
Until nothing but ash remains.

That’s if the burn continues.
if you sit in the fire, you’ll char to a fine dust.
You’ll sprinkle by when the wind picks up,
floating and floating until you find a nice place to rest.
If you run from the flames licking at your feet,
your burns get a little treat - some ice water,
some aloe, more ice water, and a bandage.
No little solid squares pressed to your wounds;
After all, they say that fire and ice don’t mix -
Hold ice on your burn for too long,
and your burn will only worsen.

I burned myself with fire.
I sought solace with ice.
My first degrees turned to seconds,
and seconds into thirds;
Ice burned me, with her cool exterior,
her icy heart.

And I kept her there, pressed to my wound,
cooling my skin,
and burning within.

Let’s call her the Ice Queen,
the crystal clear little gem that I press
So tight against my skin.
Those green eyes and her devilish grin,
I’m sure she had the power to lure anyone in.
And it was me that she chose,
already down and wounded.
She picked up my pieces and mended them together,
She iced my burns, she sewed me together.

I thought I knew who I was before I met her.
Even in pieces, I was sure that my life
was put-together.
The picture perfect model child,
until small events led to big encounters,
and higher falls and harder drops.
I shattered when I fell, but I still felt
like I was put-together
Until the Ice Queen came with
her lace and leather, her tattoos
and Newports, her tights and her boots.
She found me there, mere shards of broken memories
that dripped with tears; she sewed me together,
Maybe synchronized me to her weather.

Now, excuse me if I sound brash,
but I fall at the Ice Queen’s every batting lash.
I embraced her with open arms,
My burning skin and her cooling touch,
and sought help from a body of ice.

It’s a funny thing about fire,
The way that it sometimes soothes
and other times hurts.
A wick to a flame releases a
Heavenly scent;
Gasoline to a flame sets
a house, a car, a building,
all aflame.

And when all goes up in flames,
even firefighters struggle to
Put it out; like it’s really so
hard to wrestle with what
Spews from the Devil’s mouth.

They’d never throw ice into the
Mouth of a flame. No huge cubes
Dto try and tame the flame.
Reason why is simple, easy, matter of fact;
Ice melts in heat, and flames pack quite a singe.

So what happens next,
When fire and ice intertwine?
They maintain their solidity just
As long as they can sustain.

It isn’t very long before the flame is left
in vain.
written in april 2013. 1/3 of a series.
kristine marie Jun 2013
I think I might be a little obsessive.
I’m too insecure to trust that the people in my life will stay in my life.
I am dependent and reliant on other people,
not necessarily to bring me happiness, but just ... to be there.

I guess that’s what happens when you grow up alone.

I’ve had friends come in and out of my life,
a father who came and went like seasons,
and really, no one truly there for me.
But I was there for them.

I am selfless to the people that I don’t want to lose.
I will do whatever it takes to keep those people in my life.
Is that healthy? Is it healthy to be so worried about being alone?
Because that’s my biggest fear. I don’t want to be alone.
As much as I prefer solitude, I need someone, someone, to be there.
Just there.

I think I love too easily, or I love too much. Maybe both.
Once that line is connected, I won’t let go.
I am possessive, I am slightly jealous.
I think I love too easily, or I love too much.
Maybe both but, no one loves me back.

I guess love has many interpretations.

I don’t know what kind of love I have in me,
But I know that it’s strong - much stronger than I am.
I know I have enough in me to love the world.
I know I have enough in me. Too much in me.

How cliche: a girl with too much love
and nowhere to put it,
nothing to do with it,
no one to give it to.

And I’d like to give it away,
despite my heart’s apprehensions.
I just have so much
and I don’t know what to do with it.

Is that healthy?
written in april 2013.
kristine marie Jun 2013
shaking hands,
trembling lips;
i’m not the type
to instigate a first
kiss.

but move slowly,
draw me near,
whisper sweetly
in my ear -
tell me, tell me
what i want to hear

those three
little words,
more than likely
for the birds,
can send spurs
and slurs
of sweet nothings -
but they’d be nothing,
nothing but a blur
in my state,
in this time.

please,
i just want
to know
if you’re
mine.
written on april 1, 2013.
kristine marie Jun 2013
I quite enjoy the feeling of your skin
Silky smooth and soft to the touch;
It glows in the sunlight,
Illuminating a beautiful gold.

I quite enjoy the feeling of your skin
Especially when your body is pressed to mine,
our legs are tangled, intertwined,
And I never want them to unwind.

I quite enjoy the feeling of your skin,
Even if my touching you is a sin.
I simply can't help it and I know that you wouldn't mind,
as you guide me, lead my hand to lay on your behind.

Maybe it's foolish what we do,
all that happens between me and you.
We're just crazy kids blinded by the light
Of false pretenses and a fairy tale gone wrong.
And maybe it's foolish what we do,
but that would never keep me from you.

I'd take your hands, you see,
and put them where I want them to be;
Over hearts and between thighs,
Covering eyes and back to gripping thighs.

Maybe it's sinful what we do,
tangled beneath sheets just me and you.
And maybe it's foolish what we do,
all that happens between me and you;
But no one knows just what we do,
our little secret, my mind constantly on
*you, you, you.
written on march 19, 2013; the ending was revised from what i'd previously written... both are awful but, i'm more or less satisfied with what's posted than what's written in my journal.
kristine marie Jun 2013
If I could for a moment,
Trail my fingers down
Your spine
And trail them back up again,
I’d feel the rivets of your stem,
The very bones that hold you
Together.

How nice it would be,
If I could for a moment,
Hold you together;
You’d never slip through
My fingertips.
Only the syllables of
Your name and
The pretty little things
You make me think
Will slip through my lips.

I’ll consume you, dear,
Every little bit you loathe,
Every little bit I love.
I’ll take all of you,
Or part of you,
Whatever may work best for you;
I’ll inhale your scent and
Drink you in.

Such a sweet little taste;
It dances upon my tongue,
Warms me inside out and
Leaves me breathless,
Wanting more.

You intoxicate me,
You make me crazy,
You’ve driven me mad;
You’ve given me the best
Hangover I’ll ever have.

But if I could for a moment,
Hold you together,
I’d be perpetually yours,
Indebted forever.
written on march 8, 2013.
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