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Ash
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
Ash
Blue eyes turn the dullest shade of grey
Bright smiles slowly fade away
Warm touches turn quickly frigid
Carefree mind becomes ridgid
Heart fading, lacking luster
Beats ending, no longer clustered
Chest rising less and less
As I take my last breaths

Mind calm, no longer manic
Muscles relax, no need to panic
Light fades into blackness
Weather breaks from complete madness
Empty rooms no longer echo
Strongest wills finally let go
Lingering dreams suddenly crash
As I slowly turn to Ash

Cheerful singing begins to drone
Sparkling gems turn to stone
The gleaming sun becomes dreary
The happiest child grows weary
Crimson leaves wilt and crumble
The lions roar no longer rumbles
Ur deepest love starts to stray
As u calmly walk away

The loudest laughter no longer bellows
The strongest winds become mellow
Colorful flora losses lush
Frozen glaciers turn to slush
Blue skies veiled in somber
The greatest minds no longer ponder
The redest rose pedals fall and decay
As I live my final day
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
One glass down, and im starting to drown, everything u hate about me.

Let's pour another, just to smother, the remaining parts u can see.

Dont mind the taste, it will replace, the thoughts in ur head.

Swallow the third, flip the bird, and forget everything he ever said.

Drink em all, who cares if u fall, as long as u reduce the clatter.

Dont break the seal, let's keep it real, blacking out is the ladder.

Finish ur cup, ur just a **** up, What's it matter anyways.

Gulp the rest, u gave it ur best, let's leave this night in a haze.

Ignore what they say, this is ur day, for once u take the win.

Sip ur ***, as long as ur numb, u wont hurt again.
Ashtin Johns Aug 2012
in my veins, these fiery flames, irritate like grains of forgotten names

call me insane, but at least I maintain composure and refrain from strangling myself deranged

even tho im convoluted, completely diluted and secluded from this polluted brainless blue ***

i can't shake these blunders of wonders that wake me from my slumbers and asunder like lightening after thunder

why is this society, full of variety, stuck on the wrong types of proprieties? to feed your satiety? to reach your notoriety?  

continue to lie to me. stream the feed on live t.v. the glamour of no individuality. convincing there's something wrong with me.

straight faced frugality. absolutely no morality.

they feed on the weak. while they silently weep. "beauty doesn't come cheap, so take the leap! buy now and don't be unique!"

******* grotesque! I'd rather rip my heart outta my chest than ingest that wretched mess.

"beauty" is born not molded and formed from biohazard waste and paste. hows that plastic taste while you constantly baste your neighbors in hate.

I can't wait til the day you meet fate.
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
Somehow I find, myself intertwined with every sentence you have uttered.

Smothered. You cover me in this cloud of smoke and as im about to choke, you remove, just to prove, that you've, won this hand again.

In ur palm I spin. Twirling, hurling every ounce of me, so u can see, this was meant to be. Obsessed.

Watch u undress. Denying, prying us apart, again u start, forgetting our art, avoiding my heart. Sorrow.

U'll be gone by tomorrow. Hidden, forbidden to let down ur wall, u wont talk at all, another guy u wont recall. Still.

In ur palm I twirl. Smothered, covered in everything u have ever uttered.
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
Bite my tongue to keep from screaming
Rip open my chest to show I'm bleeeding
Carve your smile into my skin
Just to watch you laugh again

Slit these wrists just to breathe
Vent this **** growing inside of me
Tear out this heart, watch it pound
Just to stomp it in the ground

Watch me burn myself to ashes
Slowly cover my skin with gashes
Release the poison swelling inside
Escape the agony that resides

Flood these lungs with screams of rage
Scribble the anger on this page
Scratch out my eyes so I can't see
The misery that's fuckn killing me
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
Morbid smile creeps across my face
Twisted tongue seeks a certain taste
Eyes flicker black as u cower in fear
U surely must know ur death is near

U try to scream but u can't reach the note My claws of revenge firmly grasp ur throat
A ghastly laugh escapes my lips
As ur blood slowly drips

It starts to puddle around my feet
I grin again as our eyes meet
I watch ur soul quickly fade away
As ur limp body starts to sway

U hit the floor with a deafening thump
Ur mangled remains lie in a clump
I stand beside them drenched in you
Ur lack of color is my favorite hue

U never once even had a chance
I turn to the door with one last glance
A killer inside will always come free
U should of never trusted me
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
Im on the edge of everything
Staring into oblivion
Pacing, heart racing
Its the end of the world im facing

I dont want to let go
Spinning out of control
Steady sinking, tears got me blinking
In over my head, what was I thinking

Closer now more then ever
Nothing now could make it better
Falling so quick, my stomach is sick
So many scars, my blood runs thick

Plunging into fate
Theres got to be a mistake
Im soaring, thunders roaring
Can't feel the rain, yet its pouring

I see the truth in ur eyes
What it takes to be alive
Im safely landing, head still rambling
shaky knees but im still standing

Whisper to me, im free
I can be who I want to be
No lies, as long as we're alive
I see the truth in ur eyes
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
dark
dim
gray
haze

this will be my shortest day

shade
shelter
shield
veil

I give up, my bones are frail

becloud
bedim
belittle
me

close your eyes so you don't see

touch
trace
gasp
rest

my final breath will leave this chest
Ashtin Johns Jul 2012
i can see you lurking in the shadows
feel your eyes trace up my spine
watch you catch your breath
while the thoughts fill your mind
slip out behind me when I pass
im letting you follow me home
but across the forgotten alley
in the shadows you continue to roam
your teeth begin to chatter
as we walk through my door
excitement trickles through your blood
and I'm shaken to my core
grab me from behind
pulling my neck to your lips
breathing in my ear
your hands on my hips
you shudder again
then turn me around
push be against the wall
then down to the ground
a glimpse of your eyes
shows me your dark soul
twisted smile on your face
you think you're in control
on top of me now
ripping off my clothes
with one hand firmly
placed across my throat
you enter me
and I gasp
watch you laugh
as you grasp
every inch of me
and ******
pushing deep
without lust
I do not struggle
I do not fight
you finish me
in the dark of night
one last laugh
and a forceful kiss
but you did not know
I wanted this

— The End —