A Poem by AshliJane
September 19, 2009

My mind
Is racing
Wanting to explode
I can’t take this **** now
Emotional overload
My tears
They fall
It’s you they’re for
With every thought
They hit the floor
My heart
It aches
It’s physically hurting
With every message
I feel it burning
My stomach
Is sick
I feel like ****
It makes me wonder
Is this it?
My body
Is numb
I’m going crazy
My future all of a sudden
Looks real hazy

September 13, 2009

Never have I been so sure
Of what my heart does feel
I wake every morning
Thinking its real
When I saw him standing there
Across the crowded room
No one else mattered
It all happened so soon
My temporary courage
Came well into play
My whole world changed
That very day
In a state I shouldn’t remember
I will never forget
My eyes are wide open
I can never regret
I have given him my heart
And his it will always be
No matter what happens
Its always you and me

December 1, 2009

Now I know what its like
To be the one who needs saving
I’m trying to stay strong
Without caving
My thoughts I’m enslaving
Try to save everyone
From hearing what I have to say
My mind will be free one day
To all the people who ****** me over
Its going to come back to you
You’ll **** the wrong person off
And they’ll come with there crew
You’ll have nothing to do
You’ll be *******
All the other people you ****** over
They won’t help you in the end
They just wanted there **** back
That’s why they were your friend
Now I’m gone and happy
By the time you get up
When you call me for help
I still won’t give a ****

Ashli Jane

December 11, 2009

Give me one ******* minute to breath
Baby lets just leave
Earn our reprieve
That we both need
This world is ******* insane
The memories my thoughts contain
And eruption in my brain
This city is nothing to gain
I want to leave
Everything that eats away at me
I want to be out of contact
My valuables are compact
You’re all I need and that’s that
Baby you’re all I need
Forever and always
The only one I want
Even on the bad days
I can never complain
When everything’s insane
Cause you’re on my brain
Then you keep me
From catching that plane
My love is strong
We made it this long
We can’t be wrong
The phone rings
Its 3 o’clock in the morning
She’s calling, morning
But she deserves to know
What made me grow
Made me get up and go
I am so over you though
I am tired of being let down
I’m not ******* around
Let’s get out of this town
I’m not worried about letting them down

Ashli Jane

November 30, 2009

Side by side
We’ll make it in the end
Be very successful
And have the best friends
One of us will be discovered
Somehow one day
And then its just the two of us
And what the whole world has to say
We will do big things
And be remembered
Then we’ll look back
On the best November
When times got the worst
And I didn’t want to hang on
You hold me just right
And didn’t let me fight
I ****** you over
But we got through it
Whatever it is baby
You and I can do it
I had the best birthday of my life
And she had the worst
You get what you pay for
For what its worth
This is my rebirth.

Ashli Jane

December 1, 2009

I have opened a whole new door
With a lot more to face
My mind will retrace
Everywhere everyplace
This is my race
I’m going to come out on top
I can’t be stopped
We are going to leave
My heart on my sleeve
Everyone will know
I will find my reprieve
That’s all I need
I don’t smoke seeds
We will start all over
And turn over a new clover
Starting to realize
What its like through my eyes
It’s easy to despise
You guys
And your lies
I’m done trying this time
This is my ******* rhyme
I will do as I please
You’ll ******* see
I’m just going to be me
My heart has been freed
It no longer has to bleed

Ashli Jane

December 1, 2009

My heart can be heard
Just listen to my words
Don’t be absurd
And flip me the bird
Don’t be jealous cause I made it
And you still fake it
Its nothing to hold on to
I finally grew
Now I know not to listen to you
Just do what I do
My troubles are through
It took me coming unglued
I didn’t mean to be rude
Everything I said was true
So I am done and gone
In the end I won
I had some fun

Ashli Jane

I am not sure what to say to you
My mind is completely blank
My heart was whole, now broken
I only have you to thank
Our relationship is over
And you honestly don’t care
But know deep inside
I would always be there
We where fine
Needed a little work
When you say those hurtfull things
You walk away with a smirk
My feelings are hurt
My heart has been broken
Now that you’re gone
My mind is open

No Date
Ashli Jane

How dare you talk ****!
When you don’t even know
You have the nerve
To call me a ***
That I can let slide
I don’t care how you feel
Then you bring up my dad
Are you for real?
You crossed the line
Completely uncalled for
Are you done yet?
Or is there more?
Say more ****
You don’t really mean
You’ll say you’re sorry
And come clean
Don’t waste your breathe
I don’t want to hear you talk
Peace the **** out
I hope you trip on a rock

No Date
Ashli Jane

When those words are spoken
My heart falls to the floor
I linger on every word
Then you walked out my door
It’s hard to forgive
For the hurtful things you have said
I don’t want to go through that
I rather be dead
Your words cut down deep
They make me hurt so bad
Now that you walked out
I’m always just sad
Something tells me
We will get back together
But I have a feeling its just hope
And nothing will get better
Why do you have to be so mean?
To the one you love the most
I hope you get better
This is your toast

No Date
Ashli Jane

You talk a lot of ****
Things I don’t need to hear
Get the hell out
Stay out of my ear
You can’t change my mind
I am in love with him
When he’s not around
My world is grim
Just so we both
Clearly understand
Him; Mr. Workman
Will always be my man
Say what you want
Don’t believe, that’s on you
I know deep down
In my heart what is true
We will prove you all wrong
One day you will see
All along that boy
Was meant to be with me

No Date
Ashli Jane

I’m not going to lie
There is a part
It makes me sad
Tares me apart
I know after all
You still care
We went through so much
Has to be something there
Please don’t leave
Not just yet
A little longer
Then I’ll face regret
Thank you for everything
The good and the bad
I’ll get up and move on
It’s just a little sad
Enough time has passed
I don’t think so much
Then I remember the feeling
Of your soft touch
I am not ready for you
Out of my life just yet
I constantly think of that day
When we first met
I’ll keep it inside
And you will never know
Just know one day
You used to make me glow
Goodbye Josh
I’m saying that for good
To be completely honest
I never thought I could
Good luck to you
I hope everything turns out well
I’ll walk away now
Farewell

No Date
Ashli Jane

You certainly had me fooled
I thought you would be a change of pace
I was completely wrong
I don’t want to look at your face
I admired your ambition
And intelligent ways
Now all I can think about
Is that I wasted the days
Everything happens for a reason
And I am glad we are done
You are too immature
Now I can have fun
I wasn’t over him
We moved too fast
I felt pressured to be with you
I knew it wouldn’t last
It’s your loss though
I have my love back
That’s one think
You will most likely lack

No Date
Ashli Jane

Don’t let them talk you down
What do they really mean?
Someone’s got to come clean
In the end you’ll realize
What its like through my eyes
Then you’ll finally see
What its like to be me
Broken home
All alone
Before I was grown
Out on my own
Sleeping like stone
The memories changed me
I think for the good
If I was able to fix it I would
Only if I could
You think I should
Well maybe you should help
Seeing you are the reason for this ****
Oh but that wasn’t it
Just throw your fit
Cause you where wrong
All along
And now I’m gone

No Date
Ashli Jane

November 14, 2009

Today is the day
You celebrate your life
Blow out some candles
Cut your cake with a knife
I haven’t had
As many as you
And probably still wont listen
You know that is true
But thank you for proving me wrong
The many times you did
You being right when I was wrong
Formed me from a kid
I hope you have a great birthday
And get everything you want
At the end you’ll call Scott an *******
From his teasing and taunt
But no matter what happens
At the end of the night
The leftover mashed potatoes
Or a banana cream pie fight
I will always be there
Right or wrong
We are a family
We have to stay strong
Cheers to you mama!
Let’s party and get some *****
Here’s to the birthdays ahead
And the paths we chose

Ashli Jane

All I have to come up with
New and old
Could have been stolen
Or even sold
Who would want?
My emotional thoughts
Well, they have plenty
Lots and lots
I hope they are returned
With me they belong
No one else needs them
They where mine all along
Why can’t anyone come clean
Tell me where they went
My world in on that paper
That’s hard work spent
Now someone knows
All I have been through
That’s just one more thing
I have to stress too

No Date
Ashli Jane

Shut your ****** *** up
I’m done hearing you talk
You’ll be lucky when you leave here
And you can still walk
You have **** to say?
Tell it right to my face
Get my adrenaline up
Make my heart race
I will stand my ground
And not back down
Want your *** kicked by a girl?
I’ll get everyone in town
We could sell tickets
You stand so tall
Then I’ll knock your *** out
Winner takes all
**** all the waiting
I’ll take you now
Then your friends will wonder
A girl beat your ***…how?

No Date
Ashli Jane

You don’t have to worry about me
Or the two hundred dollars
I can make it on my own
So I’ll put on a collar
And get a better job than you
Better vehicle too
Your friends will be buying from me fool
You’re such a tool
My rhymes will actually make it
I hope yours can shake it
They are going to be sick
I’ll put your name out there a little
Try to push you through
But I can’t say you’ll be able to hold
A title of your own
And you wonder why your parents
Don’t call you grown
In the end you’ll end up
Writing your worthless **** on your own
Run back to her
See if she’ll take you
Hah she doesn’t want your crazy *** either
You make it so easy to hate you
Somebody will love you one day
After they **** you
You’ll have nothing left
You’ll be at the end
Just before you go
Always know
You’ll always be in the mind of my pen

No Date
Ashli Jane

My everything
Is what you are
With our love
We can go far
You are in my life
I will be your wife
Emotions run high
Always your pumpkin pie
My heart races
My mind retraces
Spend my life with you
That’s what I want to do
You are in my heart always
Even on cloudy days
The butter on my toast
My exs are ghosts
I want you only
You’ll never be lonely

No Date
Ashli Jane

I feel like my life now
Is finally complete
There is no more reason
To have to compete
I have everything I need
All under one roof
I will all work out this time
I don’t need the proof
I have so much faith
I am giving it my all
This has to turn out well
We cannot fall
This is my last shot
The last time I will try
Then our relationship is done
All we had will die
But I think it will work
It has to this time
I would do anything
Commit any crime

No Date
Ashli Jane

****** dooby doo
Where are you?
I miss you so
Please don’t go
Don’t leave me in this world alone
Without you at home
It would break my heart
To see your car start
At least do me one favor
And let your break lights show
Ill stand in their glow
In the freezing cold snow
Motionless for hours
Letting my mind sour
I get scared
And then I cower
Please don’t ever leave my side
You won’t have anything to hide
I will make our world amazing
Sitting out back gazing
You never have to escape
Please never doubt me
And promise you won’t leave
I can’t live without you
I’ll make all your dreams come true
Just us, the two

No Date
Ashli Jane

I asked you to come home
And you turned the offer down
Leaving me at the door step
Not knowing whether or not to frown
I didn’t think when you left
It would be the last time
I would do anything to change that
I would stop on a dime
I am not going to change myself
To be what you want
I can try to improve
But I cannot flaunt
We both said hurtfull things
I’m sorry it happened that way
The end is up to you
You choose if you want to stay

No Date
Ashli Jane

I write this rhyme
To consume my time
And ease my mind
Let my mind unwind
Everything I write
Is from my sight
Everyone might
See the light
I will heal
In time to seal
I’ll keep it real
And learn to feel
My life is unlike another
Trying to not be like my mother
And start a life with my lover
Better than any other
We will make it I know
As my face glows
Some place it doesn’t snow
And our relationship can grow
We will be together
Always and forever
Nothing would be better
Do you like my sweater?

No Date
Ashli Jane

My curiosity ran wild
I felt like a child
Tried to act mild
Then you smiled
I paused for a while
I was in denial
My shivers where spinal
Your voice like vinyl
I gave you a trial
I love you, it’s final

No Date
Ashli Jane

I am at a loss of words
I am losing my mind
I need someone to hold
Gentle and kind
His soft eyes
Consume my thoughts
I crave him
…lots
Simple and to the point
Then something goes wrong
I knew the whole time
This would happen all along
You never talked to me this way
You don’t even care
You keep running your mouth
While watching my heart tare
This is so unfair
You kept me unaware
You don’t give a ****
You just sit and stare

No Date
Ashli Jane

I am fed up and tired
Of what everyone has to say
This is all *******
These games I wont play
Something is telling me
This will never change
Suddenly shots are fired
At close enough range
My luck is gone
I’m in the same situation
I can’t live like this
Overload of frustration
My heart is tearing
Piece by piece
I just sit and wait
For some kind of release
I am tired of this ****
I don’t get their way of thinking
Like a hundred thousand piece puzzle
I give up linking
I am tired
And done with the game
So I’ll give up and walk away
But you’ll remember my name

No Date
Ashli Jane

Why can’t you see?
That you are breaking my ******* heart
The taste in my mouth is ****
Because from the start
I’ve been vomiting
Trying to give you what you want
But I cringe at the thought
Of bringing someone into this world
Who I couldn’t support
I wouldn’t want to resort
To the government aid
Using food stamps
Holding the line back
That’s not going to be me
I am going to break free
I am tired of hearing what you think you see
Because I don’t agree
You don’t have a ******* clue what its like to be me
You’ll never see what I have seen
I’m holding back to come clean
Stop acting so mean
I can’t stand that you think its okay
To talk to me that way
I don’t need you to ******* stay
This bed is big enough for me
It never really was yours
You always left angry
And slammed your doors
******* *******
Go **** your ******
And please leave all my ****
I don’t need you thinking about me anymore
Just set me free
I can make it on my own
My mind is full grown
I’m not afraid of being alone
I have already been shown
The life after this
And you’re not prepared
If you where more stable
I wouldn’t be so scared
My vision is impaired
All those shots I was dared
**** I can’t even walk
I try to talk
But I’m going into shock
I am trapped with you
Don’t you see?
I can’t even be
Who I want to be
This isn’t me
Time is running short
How are you going to prove?
You won’t trip
In every tiny groove
I’m making my move
I am tired of being used
**** this abuse
My ropes are coming loose
**** this noose
Deuces

No Date
Ashli Jane

My mother is psychotic
Its really quiet ironic
The life I had was hell cause of her
Now im free like a bird
One day I will be heard
And I’ll spread the word
I will let everyone know
What over time can grow
Life can be a mellow flow
Everyone will hear my side
All cause I never lost my pride
With you I’ll always ride
Until I die
Ill try not to cry
When we walk from it all
I promise I wont fall
Well get a call
We’ll be 10 feet tall
To them not so small