I was dead before I knew I was dying
And now the grief sets in, my thoughts come out of hiding
As the people pass by, nod heads, close their eyes
Wishing they’d have been, the one to die
In the grave of self seeking lullabies
That softly lure us down to lie
And I look up above me to the clouds in the sky
As I’m lowered down they will stay so high
Away from this sorrowed soul and burdened heart
That soaked up the sin through the talent and art
Of thinking and feeling that consumed my life
Not in purpose or action but silence and strife
Am I living in my grave?
Why do I lie here in my grave?
It’s the dirt on my feet, I can’t see underneath
I am sick with sorrow in my black stained sheath
Can I pity myself more with flowers beside me
Am I comfortable yet, this is the opposite of free
Can consciousness be regained, to sit up under this tree
Notice the leaves and the beauty, that were grey so it seemed
Recognize and sympathize with feeling this numb
No one knows what its like to walk and to hum
Except the strong who have chosen to press
To fight and to run against the opposing forces
And when they reach their peace, in joy and hope
They reached the sky, of which I have only wrote
A line or two, only a line or two
Its something I’ve seen so rarely seen
from the grave I’m in, unsettled yet comfortable in
Looking at the clouds, that float above my sin
Am I living in my grave?
Why do I lie here in my grave?
When I have been placed here willingly I’ve been shown even more
With the make up they put on me and stories that bore
I was dead before I knew I was dying
And now the grief sets in, my thoughts come out of hiding
As the people pass by, nod heads, close their eyes
Wishing they’d have been, the one to die
In the grave of self seeking lullabies
That softly lure us down to lie
And I look up above me to the clouds in the sky
As I’m lowered down they will stay so high
I want to reach that height, can I please try
If I only had tried, revive me so I can try
To stand up in my grave, and to smash the stone
To stand in power and make it known
That I live in the power and might from the throne
Of the God of heaven who removes the stones
Who leaves us restless in our peaceful remorse
As I press and I struggle not for the sky but the cross
And I will fight for my life, fight for a life
With beauty and peace, where my sorrows will cease
Not a casket for living, waiting for death on a lease
I’m alive through a grave that brings me to shame
But lifts me up by the power of Jesus’ name
Why else would he die, we were meant to have life
But will I live it in my grave?
Or live it through his grace?
Am I living in my grave?
Hold me in your embrace.
Soak me with your grace.