One foot, in front of the other

trudging along through the rain, the wind and thunder

I try. All i can say is that I try. I try my best but

sometimes im weak though i like to put on this front that I’m strong

and people don’t read too far into me, they think i’ve got it going on

so tell me why do i feel so hollow like i’ve been carved out of my own skull?

A pill i just can’t swallow, i cant do this on my own.

—I’ve got a dependence, I need a vice. I need something destructive in my life. i need someone that has to hurt me at some point. I need to suffer just to reach a turning point. I’m headed for the storm, i’m ready for it to take me in, in this sailboat i’m travelin in.

It never ends

and we could never be friends

we know that ship has sailed

but our connection never prevailed

and i can’t use these eyes

to give anyone else a glance

cause you have me in this trance

all i see are fireworks and i just want to dance

—dance on all the rooftops, dance on all the streets

take me to a mountain, i wanna see the tops of the trees

you’ve got me higher in the sky than i have ever been before

and you can hide away but my hope is a light to bright i can’t hide anymore.

—let this begin.

let s take it in,

don’t mess with fate, don’t derail destiny you can’t rewrite what’s already been put down in ink

this wasn’t just a sketch, i know god put us to the test, but we know just what he intends on happening.

—I would step back from everything i’ve been chasing all my life,

i would make a different turn i don’t care if it’s wrong or right

if i had just some sparkle of hope that you’d be with me by my side,

cause nothing seems scary, nothing intimidates me when you’re here, but you are the king of disappearing.

-i can’t give up, you’re in my blood, you’re in my heart and soul.

I can’t give up, you’re in my blood, i have no self control.

Sleeping through the days like an endless dream
Falling into an Eternity
swimming through waters to deep for me,
not sure if i can keep on breathing.
Hesitant to make any sudden moves.
Petrified to fall back into love with you.
Sifting through lies to find some ounce of truth
But theres nothing real left to find.

I feel safest when I hide
my sanctuary inside
there's room to breathe because it's only me myself and I.
When i surround myself with company
There's too many things to over think.
Too many emotions at war with each other inside my mind

Can you hear my desperate cries and screams
Can you hear me ripping at my seams
I've lost my grip on reality, and what is a figment of my mind
I can't figure out the actuality of the life i have designed

Around the carousel again.
The pieces i can never mend.
The infinite roller coaster ride.
The emptiness i can't replace,
the void i'm far too scared to face.
the battle i will fight until the end of *time

i went out on a limb.
i grabbed onto nothing,
and i dove right in.
it took me so long,
yeah it felt like a lifetime.
now there's no more wondering
but there sure aint no sunshine.


-and i want to scream and watch my lungs fall from my mouth.
i want to puke my guts out.
i want to cry and watch a river grow.
i want to keep on pushing, but i've gotta let go.

i took this stupid chance.
i barely remember why i did.
climbing all these mountains
just to fall back down unsafely.
now what do i do from here?
where do i go?
how is anyone supposed to really know

i want to love you but i'm not sure i'm allowed to. i want to fall asleep and stay in an eternal dream state of mind. i wish that i could turn back clocks so i could just continue and continue to rewind.

i could explode form the inside.
every time you let me down.
I could feel o top of the world but
you can bring me underground.
and i don't want to love you like this.
why is a happy love so hard to find?
i need to discover something i can hold on to,
because id rather feel empty that hurt this much inside.

what do i do now? with tears splashing from my eyes.
where do i go from here? because the end of the road is within my sight.
and i know i can't go any further without losing myself along the way.
i cant seem to recover.

i sometimes forget how i love you.
only because time has put it in the back of my mind.
it's not that i don't think of you.
it's just that when i do, it's hurt a little less each time.
and then you go ahead and talk to me.
your words hitting me like bullets, they do.
And it all comes flowing right back to me.
and i remember how much i love you.

i am not sure i will ever clean you from my mind for good.
i wish i could just be hypnotized so that i would.
cause if i never knew you, i could live this life of happiness.
but then id forget all the good times. then would i be myself?

believe me darling i know my limitations,
but believe me once more i know how to break them,
crossing lines is a habit that's become so routine.
for a while all i did was try to behave,
standing behind lines i didn't know how to break.
i'm not hiding in the darkest corner this time.

i know now...

i cant live my life between the lines, i've got to walk on the outside,
or no one will ever watch me shine. & i can't live my life between the lines, i've got to trust myself to fly.
or no ones gonna see me shine.

believe me honey i know i've grown outside my skin.
this skin that i've felt so uncomfortable in.
and i like this.
believe me darling i know i'm not the same.
but i'm myself, and that's the change, i was reaching for the whole time.