watch me fall apart,
breaking one by one.
i become undone,
but the minutes on the clock.
try to decipher my words,
because i cant understand my thoughts.
i'm throwing verbal clusters
that i can't understand myself.

and i have never loved
under this sun
the way that i love right here, right now.
but i have never wished,
to forget something like this,
as quickly as i can, somehow,
i gotta let this go.

watch me hope for this.
i'll dream of it perfect.
i want this to be
perfect
perfect.
but then i realize,
when the tears fall from my eyes,
i'm imagining something,
perfect.
perfect.

why can't i take the wheel?
i need to steer the ship before it sinks into the ground.
why can't i control what i feel.
i tell myself what i need to do, but then you come around,
and i just wanna believe in the dreams i dreamt for us,
this whole galaxy i built for us.
i just want to move it from my creative mind, to the outside.

the colors are always changing, and i cant keep up with the mix and matching shades.
today i feel like i can love you, but i cant promise tomorrow will be the same.
so what is this continuation of events when i know i'll still be stuck tripping over make believe footsteps.


you cant shake what you feel.
i've learned that the hardest way possible.
and you can't predict that glances are real,
because when youre heart is set, it's unstoppable.
i just want to open my eyes and see what i saw when they were closed,
so how come when i open them, i feel alone and so exposed,
i just want to feel like i'm still in reality today.

my heart hurts for you.
my heart hurts for me.
i want to love you.
i want to let you be,
i want you to see the sceneries you want to see,
and i want you to visit sceneries with me.
i want to let you fly across the skies with your eyes,
buried in the things youve been chasing your whole life.
and i want to be waiting at the other end when you come down and are ready to express your experiences with someone you love.
someone you love.
i want to know you inside and out.
from head to toe.
i want to know.
i want to teach you all that i;ve known.

my heart beats for you.
my heart stops from you.
i want to tell you the secrets i cant keep.
i want to see you, everything of you.
perfections and flaws, under and above you.
im sure that id love you.
if i got the chance to be
someone you love.
someone you love.
ask me what i want to know, all of the above.
i'll be the witness, that backs up your story,
even when your wrong.

and i'd be a statue, if you asked me to stay still.
if you asked me to break my neck for you, without a doubt, oh i will.
and i'd travel the world ocean to ocean, just to float to a shore, where i could be someone you loved.

where did we start?
i lost the mark we had left there.
and every time you push me away,
somehow you kick my memory into gear.
and why i keep pushing for this to be real, is suddenly clear.

i remember when it felt good to feel this way.
before everything was destroyed in front of my face.
when the excitement was unbearable. and the light of hope was as bright as i had ever began to see.
and i remember when it felt good to be this way.
chasing something that never seemed to escape.
so now i can feel it sliding right through my hands and i can't seem to get it back on track.
can you take me back to this place?

how did this end?
but for the sake of my sanity can we not talk about it?
because every time i let my brain wander back,
and it feels a little better, when i let my feet step back.

and i know, that soon it will hurt again.
disguising the truth with what i had imagined then.
but how good it felt to still have the spark of hope, that now seems so far.
so what if i live in a world that i've built.
and if im alone, and it's not even real.
so what if i have turned myself into a fictional character, and created your side of the conversation the way i wish i heard them. how many people can do that and still feel okay? well i feel okay. at least for today.

no words can really describe it. i try to find them, but theyre non existent. but when i look back on how i felt about you then. the words come spilling out, and the visions so vivid that suddenly i am in love with the person i created. can you create them with me?

this is a kind of torn i have yet to experience.
i felt the floor give way underneath us.
i just continued falling.
it seems thats how it always plays out.

i've lost sight of what has been mapped out for me,
looks like i'll create my own drawings
i thought that i could handle that,
but then i found myself on the warpath.

-tears fall from my eyes in the dark, in the dark.
flames burn me alive, in the dark, in the dark.
it's colorless at night, so no one can see of me this side.
but i'm not laughing, i'm not smiling in the dark, in the dark.

i don't know the meaning of the words i spill here.
painting the walls with colors that are unheard of.
we have built bridges from then to now, i see them,
so who set fire because theyre burning their way backwards now.

and i'll never know the words to say to explain whats couring through my veins.
but god, how could i allow this scenery to go and change.
i created this world for myself, and sat on my golden throne,
so who overthrew me, and left me in the cold?

something continues to bring me back,
just when i thought i'd escape.
when i overcome this, it's so overpowering,
but i can feel that it's so fake.
because i feel myself slip back into the vortex that you've become.
pulling me in when i thought i was ready to go
pulling me in when i convinced myself i was strong.

so i can ask myself the same questions on how and why.
i feel like i'm bolted to the floor when i see people touching the sky.
you have me in chains and i cant escape the web you have woven around my bones.
its like you dont want me to go.
or maybe its just that i dont want to go.

what is it that youve been gifted with?
some force thats too strong to try and reckon with.
i thought i had be fighting.
but to myself i am probably lying.
the moment that your lips decide to close,
im left waiting to respond to the next thing you say.
you always know how to keep me hanging.

sometimes your lights are guiding,
and other times theyre blinding

Never have i felt so disconnected from everyone.
From myself.
How many times will the sun set and rise,
before i feel alright inside?
I can't find the cure to this commotion.
I've tied myself in my own ropes and knots.
I cant find a motive to keep me goin',
cause when i do it ends up escaping me,
leaving me lost.

I never wanted to admit,
not even to myself,
that the words they speak are true,
So how could i admit this to you.
Everything is upside down,
but let it be as i left it,
because i am the one with the hands to fix it.

I've never been so unsure,
of that these emotions are but,
i've made it this far.
My eyes watch everyone pass in the storm.
i've built my safe haven here but,
i have boarded up the windows,
cause i don't want you to see my fall apart.

I'm searching for something,
but i won't know the victory until
it's resting in the palm of my hands.
i'll never stop these feet from running,
it's what they do right,

Broken by your words but repaired by my healing thoughts.
yet i've proven myself to no one.