walls are up
emotions locked down
head above water
trying not to drown

so much stress
anxiety
and depression
I flirt with death
and hide my expression

emotions elude me
though I feel them intensely
I am two things at once
both numb and full feeling

I spend most of my time
avoiding and daydreaming
searching for something
that can give my life meaning

I search for fulfillment
something or someone
emotional stability
comfort or safety

with so much to figure out
and a lot I still don't know
I'm trying to do my best
and that's enough for now

I wonder what they thought of me
as I was walking through the halls
As I was sitting in their class
While I said nothing at all

Did they know who I was
Maybe other than my name
Or did they see who I was,
right through my pain

I guess it was the goal
Never seen and never known
Never wanting anybody to understand
What went untold

Now I realized I was foolish
I should have recognized my lies
I should have leaned on more people
Instead of suffering inside

If I had reached out to somebody
And talked about my days
I could have gained some confidence
And turned around my ways

Im a girl in her bed
Alone in her world
Wondering what would have happened
If she had called out to be heard

As mid-September turns October
Once lively leaves begin to turn over
And the warmth of summer feels further and further
Leaving loneliness to hug its shores

The songbird sighs its sing-songy goodbyes
Leaving barren skies alone and cold
The morning songs of summer
No longer there to warm the soul

With every passing day
Theres less sunlight here to stay
And the warmth of summer rays have gone to find a new place
Where flowers will welcome them upon their face

Now summers gone to find a new home
And without a second thought, we’ve been left here alone
Longing, hoping, and waiting
For summers warm embrace to take winters lonely place