She tells me she felt different with him then any other boy.
That she feels empty now, but with him she felt joy.

How can I argue with that?
How can I hold her back?

This could be her second chance at forever.
I should be happy for her, however

why am I writing this at 2 AM with tears streaming down my face?

-I don’t want to lose my best friend to him; he doesn’t deserve her

Why do I give you the power to destroy me?

The only way to survive is to see the good in the bad,
the beauty in the pain,
and the sun through the rain.

When you pop into my head, things get blurry.
Sometimes I feel as though you’re an unwanted guest in my mind.
Other times I welcome you with open arms.
This is because I have yet to figure you out.
Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
I know deep down what you want from me, but I tell myself there’s more to it.
So I keep holding on, waiting for that stream of light to pierce through my skull.
I never give up anymore.
That way, no matter the outcome,
I never really lose.
I live with purpose, not regrets.

Through cracked lips, he told me I wasn’t good enough.

And I believed him.

My heart froze as I watched the cold breath leave his mouth.

My body felt empty in the wake of his storm.

Little did I know,

I was too good
to waste my love
hanging onto
a broken boy.

I vow to myself,

That night

Was the last time

I let you

Touch my skin.

in·san·i·ty
inˈsanədē/noun

Giving you my heart, over and over again, expecting you won’t drop it like you’ve done every time.
“I did this to myself.”

My insides are splitting me apart
like shards of glass in my heart.

How can I still paint you in a shining light?
When your wrongs can never be made right.

You left me speechless in your wake.
So the only words that come out land on this page.
Our story lives on in a distant memory.

I’m not okay.
I pretend it doesn’t hurt anymore,
But the truth is I just pushed it down.
The ache in my gut went numb.
But just hearing your name,
Makes my heart break all over again.
I wish this pain would stop.

It’s hard to put into words,
How incredibly alone I feel.

Empty inside.

It seems as though everyone else is moving forward,
And I’m stuck.

Frozen in a time,
When there was you and I.

But now there’s just me.
Only me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones.
But your words will forever haunt me.

Sometimes I sit alone.
And I wish that I could cry.

Maybe then I can drain the part of you that lingers in my head.

But all I feel is empty.

Your love filled me up.
And now that you’re gone
I feel like The Sahara.

A desolate wasteland.

I pray
you spend
the rest of your life
searching for
the taste of my lips.

In one night stands.
Through I love you’s.
Under promises made.
Next to secrets kept.

But your efforts
will be in vain.
For nothing
could ever substitute
the love I gave to you.

You let it slip by
without blinking an eye.
And now you will never discover
an equivalent lover.

Mosaic tiles
make up pieces
of my broken heart.

I long for the one
who won’t see me as a project
but as a piece of art.

I get those 4 letter words confused.

One is selflessness.
Not wanting to hang up on those late night calls.
The yearning for the others presence.
Wanting to be better, for them.

The other is selfishness.
3am texts.
The need for a temporary high.
Wanting to pretend he cares.

But how do I mix the two?

Well, because of you.

Love or Lust?
I wish I knew which feeling to trust.

You have so much self control when it comes to not choosing me.
And so little when it comes to using me.

Your eyes gleamed with the ghosts of the past.
Your smile could warm the coldest heart.

But I knew this would never last.
We always end up apart.

We started driving down that road too fast.
The intensity was a work of art.

But the devastation of us is something we couldn’t outlast.
We were doomed to crash from the start.