Lay on the floor with sweat
dripping from every crevice.
Tears threaten to plummet
down red fat rolls and music
serenades your anger, soothes
the sadness in your heart.

This is too much. He means
the sweltering sun and dreams
of his Himalayan home, crisp air.
My memories are too much to bear.
Red wine is flowing; he pulls me close.
I take his hand in mine. He eyes my blouse.
Isn’t this what you’ve been longing for, dear?
I let go. His restless hands have no fear.
His face buried in my chest, the taste of salt
lingers on my tongue. Somebody is to fault
as he pulls my body down. Swallow hard
and count to ten. My heart stands guard.

He grunts. Why do I feel nothing?

The selves we lose while
we’re busy being found
in the brittle pages of bibles,
at the bottom of Barcardi bottles.
Transcendence and imminence
weave together and pull us apart.

I’m stagnant.
Rejected, but he loves me like he loves his sisters.

God Don’t Make Lonely Girls.
Oh, yes he does.

I read too much into these things.
Too clingy. Too needy. Too crazy.

Too much coffee. Purple trim house. The lake.
Butterflies make me soar. Tears flow. I feel like I can tell him anything and so I do.
I should have known better.

Stop running from your demons.

Iris. On repeat. Again and again until I drift to sleep.

Why the **** do I care?
Why the **** do I love you.
This isn’t fair anymore.

We are standing in line outside of something
often rebuked, yet always back returning.
I heard laughter and forgotten consonants,
its unrelenting memories of happiness
but inward grows a soberness, an awe.
Poverty gnashing its teeth like a blind cat at their lives.
Oh mother, mother, where is happiness?

Birds sing their morning songs
amidst mountains asleep in the fog
And I find I don’t have the answer
anymore. My heart on my sleeve
and my head spinning in circles.
Would you wake me when you leave?

Cheap winks walked her wonder
further down the hollowing
turns as darkness quickly
assured me of being warily
mentioned as difficult