she fell in love
with old buildings
abandoned houses
windows busted out
missing doors and
peeling paint
places that seemed
haunted and lost
there was a sweet sadness
in overgrown yards
like part of the world was forgotten
it moved her
because she coul see
how beautiful they once were
how memories used to fill
all the hallways and rooms
rooms now boarded shut
falling apart
pieces, pieces everywhere
and she fell in love
with the way the sun hit
and she could almost feel
where life used to be there
she kinda thinks that people
are like those houses

your laugh was like a sad song
one i would've played all night long
if it meant you were still here
and that i would have you near
but life doesn't work out that way
praying for a better day
when it all falls back into place
and i can see your face
forget all the tears i've cried
when i meet you on the other side
i know i have to keep living, continue on
even though it hurts, knowing you're gone
someday i know we'll meet again

sometimes her mind races
and she can't slow down her thoughts
and it's overwhelming
even for her
so she may shut down
because there's safety in that
not letting anyone get too close
for fear they may
get cut on all her
broken pieces
she is stitched together
sometimes it feels like
coming unglued
but it doesn't hurt anymore
if she doesn't think about it
if she can just keep busy
if she can just find something
anything to believe in
mostly she blames herself
for being too soft
too emotional
and carrying too much love
because that in turn
can only complicate things
and it makes people uneasy
to be so wide open
so she paces herself
or she tries (mostly)
and reads other people
when really all she wanted
was to be real
not to be understood
but to be loved
even the darkest
dustiest parts
of her soul
sometimes just needed
a light

you didn't think you'd make it another day
drifting through a world gone gray
where music had no sound
you couldn't find solid ground
tears wouldn't come, you couldn't cry
the river that overwhelmed you running dry
and "happiness" was just a memory
behind a mirror you couldn't see
and the pain, feeling it run so deep
the nights too long and you couldn't sleep
you needed something, anything to bring you back
the falling always hurts, feeling yourself crack
and you're in a land that no one knows
where everything is dead, nothing grows
and it feels like you're under water, so cold
did you think this was what the future would hold
but you can see it now, a light starts to shine
and you know that now is the only time
the past is gone, the future unclear
you can't keep hiding from fear
or you're not living at all
i know how it hurts to fall
but listen closely... the distant beat
you can feel it in your feet
and the dance is coming, coming soon
the world full of color & a winter moon
what will you do? will you let yourself sink
are you going to stop and think
because i'd much rather be dancing

Ernest Hemingway once said
write hard and clear about what hurts
what he didn't say was that sometimes
it'll feel like needles against your skin
like swallowing ashes
and your heart is racing
he didn't tell you that
sometimes writing
about what hurts isn't always so clear
you can write it out
you can mix your words
make them sound beautiful even if they are
so full of pain and shame
so you can write hard and clear
about what hurts
but just know that the after effects
aren't always as beautiful
& poetic as you'd like
sometimes it leaves a burn
a scar in places no one sees

i know that when the time comes
i'll greet you like the morning sun
i'll be waiting in a white room
behind a garden, always in bloom
we'll dance and the tears won't flow
in this land where everything can grow
where there's no pain, no fear
music only you and i can hear
and we won't need to try and find
the life we thought we left behind
because here there's no time
the water tastes sweet like wine
the grass so soft beneath our feet
gold & silver pave every street
there will always be love and laughter
waiting for us in the sweet here after

she dances across a moonlit path
and he stops just to hear her laugh
hands reaching out, drawing him near
there's no confusion, no fear
the way the wind whispers so soft and sweet
he feels the rhythm all the way down to his feet
he gazes in to eyes a hundred shades of blue
and they dance, just like they used to do
and it's magic, having her near
singing softly in his ear
but morning comes too soon
when she fades away like the moon
this is the girl he'll always miss
tears fall silently with this final kiss

i pray these feelings will pass
sometimes your words cut like glass
and leave me so broken, so alone
in this place i try to call home
and i wanted more than this
how it hurts with every kiss
and sometimes i just feel afraid
picking apart all the decisions i've made
because is this me
who i wanted to be
or did i fall short, full of mistake
pain in every breath i take
when i feel worthless, empty
and the tears fall plenty
and i just wanna sleep
fall into the dark & deep
or grow wings and fly away
why even bother to pray
when it doesn't change
everything looks strange
it all starts to shatter
i just wanted to matter

You can't touch me
unless you're so full of intention
& I can see where you've written
promises all over my skin
you can't hold me
unless I know
that there are better days ahead
because i've had quite enough
of people trying to break me
because they can't handle
the way I shine sometimes
and you can't love me
if you don't know me
which is the good and the bad
the secrets I hold inside my heart
all the darkness that I used to know
you can't want me
if you don't try
to keep me
which means never
making me feel
like i'm second best
because i'm not one
to play games
when I know
how short
this life is

sometimes there's no pain in goodbye
and maybe i love you is the sweetest lie
maybe hope is all we're left to hold
all that glitters isn't gold
sometimes we lose ourselves bit by bit
looking for something to make the pieces fit
and we don't wanna feel empty or alone
when words and memories cut to the bone
sometimes you know when enough is enough
and there's no shame in giving up
on anything that makes you blind
leads you astray, sets you behind
makes your soul hurt, your heart ache
but nothing in this life is a mistake
lessons, lessons, how they change
and life is wonderful, life is strange
even in the moments of struggle and grief
hold on fast to that belief
that you are always so much more
than you give yourself credit for
sometimes there's no pain in goodbye
and maybe i love you is the sweetest lie
but we're all fools
stumbling blindly

when she couldn't hear
people speaking kindly
she'd throw her voice
into the wind
hoping maybe it would
make their day a little brighter
when she didn't see
compassion
empathy for each other
she poured herself out
and took their feelings in
and when she didn't know
what tomorrow would bring
she placed her faith in God
because there's nothing
greater than that
and she wanted everyone
to believe
that we are part
of something so much
bigger, better, stronger
she wanted to change
the world
& make it a little better

when things feel like they're spinning out of control
you'll find faith in the darkest corners of your soul
when it feels like hard times are never ending
you'll find strength, hope in new beginnings
because you're so much greater than you believe
and there's nothing in life you can't achieve
find the time to dream, to love, to pray
because tomorrow is another day
you can always be better than you are
to light up the night, shine like a star
find your purpose, leave your mark
you never know when you'll touch a heart
or change a life without even knowing
seeds of kindness are always growing
seek out the good in a difficult situation
realize we are all part of a beautiful creation
look for the blessings, find the smile
because sadness only lasts a little while

if you could've traced her veins
you'd see the clarity of the pain
and how each word marked her heart
and that would be a start
of figuring exactly who
this girl was bathed in blue
and the only thing she would desire
is someone to dance in the fire
and never worry about the flame
if you love it, give it a name
otherwise let it go, let it go
so it may learn to grow
or else she'd be a wilted flower
just waiting for the minute, the hour
when she found simplicity, she was free
she knew exactly who she wanted to be
it was getting there
that always seemed to be the struggle

He reminded me of a perfect storm
ocean waves taking form
with his hand in mine
kisses sweet like wine
no longer just trying to survive
I felt awake, free and alive
deep brown eyes, lovely crooked grin
I was ready for this adventure to begin
I waited for so long
played my life like a song
waiting for someone to hear
understand what I held dear
every word he spoke became part
I felt it vibrate straight to my heart
running deep into my soul
feelings running out of control
and every time he touched my face
it felt like magic, a happy place
it felt right, fitting so well together
I want this to last forever
but I know it's too soon
to promise the stars & moon
but the way I feel, so very deep
felt just like falling asleep
and waking into a dream
and it was him

I saw flowers floating
in the water
ripple, ripple
making little waves
and her hand caressed the water
thinking, thinking
should I?
“What's left for me here”
and she closes her eyes
she remembers dreams
and the life she had
before the darkness
came and took her over
and the days faded into gray
she hums a sad little song
and lets the tears fall
wondering if anyone
could ever hear her
if she screamed loud enough
she let rain fall softly on her skin
and emotions felt like they
were burning into her flesh
and she just wants to feel... whole
and not so empty
she's close, so close to the edge
of the boat, that could save her
if she's willing to just give up
roll her body into the water
and just say goodbye
to this world
and all it's weight
but she takes a deep breath
looks at the sky & sees
the promise
sunshine in the sky
so she smiles
and floats back to shore

i fixed your coffee... strong and black
and tried to pretend you were coming back
i made your eggs and buttered your bread
and tried to remember the last thing you said
before it all changed and you couldn't speak
before the sickness, when you weren't so weak
the way it happened, all so fast
the days roll by, into the past
and some days it's a struggle just to get up, go on
and i don't know how i can ever be this strong
but we take it day by day
i wish it didn't have to be this way
it makes me angry because it isn't fair
to know that you're lost in there
and i can't reach you, even though i try
when the lights are out, i sit and cry
and try to get back to that place
where i could see your smiling face
and hands that held me through thick and thin
and it hurts so much that i may never know it again
but i will be here, we stay together
i loved you then, i'll love you forever
there are times when it's hard to be so alone
but i keep holding out, hoping you'll come home

Ernest Hemingway once said
write hard and clear about what hurts
what he didn't say was that sometimes
it'll feel like needles against your skin
like swallowing ashes
and your heart is racing
he didn't tell you that
sometimes writing
about what hurts isn't always so clear
you can write it out
you can mix your words
make them sound beautiful even if they are
so full of pain and shame
so you can write hard and clear
about what hurts
but just know that the after effects
aren't always as beautiful
& poetic as you'd like
sometimes it leaves a burn
a scar in places no one sees

if you look in her eyes you will see
all the things that set her free
and if you really want to know
just how deep her love can go
it's not written in her history
she wasn't much of a mystery
she was pretty open, simple at start
you found the missing pieces of her heart
and she felt like you were
becoming so much to her
you spun stories and let her sleep
and she was falling, falling so deep
tasting moonlight on her lips
and you were there at her fingertips
fire in the darkness, shining like a star
do you know how amazing you are
because you lit a fire within
and she's ready to begin
the life she always wanted
& it's with you

she was eating
pears on the rooftop
& singing Tom Petty songs
in flip flops & sunglasses
watching people passing by
and she'd never get tired of this
making up stories in her head
of who she thought they were
because that was so much sweeter
and gentler than what was real
she could see how beautiful
the world really was
and it always amazed her
when others couldn't see
past the sad and the ugly
the broken and the pain
there were flowers blooming
in the meadows
children dancing to summertime sounds
people laughing and singing
if only in little spurts
it was enough
to get her by
and she'd hold on tight
to what she believed
and she chose to believe
that life is
beautiful

sometimes i think that
you are under the impression
that i'll always be around
because with me it was about
safe & warm
the calm from the storm
and you knew you had that
with me
i think you took me for granted
i think you didn't realize what you had
but i'm slowly, slowly, slowly
seeing my worth
and i'm more valuable than
you gave me credit for
maybe you'll never understand this
that if i'm alone
it's really by choice
& because i know
i'm not settling for less
than magic
if that means waiting i'm okay with that
it has nothing to do with you
because i don't think it will ever change
i don't think you will ever truly see me
you see what you want
when you want
need me when it's convienent
but that's not for me
you can't love me sometimes
if it's not all the time
then there's not much of a point

inches of ice, feet of snow
she begged him not to go
"stay here, keep me warm
don't try to brave this winter storm"
but his mind was set, the journey long
he promised to bring her back a song
when he travels like this to places unknown
she always waits patiently for him to come home
each time is different, yet the same
and he comes back singing her name
guitar in hand and treasures in pack
he always finds his way back
she knows he defies time and space
and everywhere she goes she sees his face
he shouldn't be here, shouldn't exist
she knew that the moment they kissed
that he was something greater, unknown
but it was as close as she'd felt to home
these journeys weren't his choice at first
he often wondered if he was blessed or cursed
but he came to embrace this life
found a woman to call his wife
she was his only one
shining like the sun
and her face reminded him of summer flowers
it was her voice that got him through the lonely hours
between journeys from here to there
getting by on hope & prayer
because this was the life he was destined to live
to go back and undo the wrongs, finding gifts to give
changing things that made the world seem wrong
but he always came back smiling, singing a song
of other times, other places
distant lands, strange faces
sometimes it hurt to fix a world that unravels
so they love so passionately in between his travels
and she knows that he will always find her
and always come home

they told her
she was weird
she was different
she was too much
or not enough
they told her
that she should
be tougher
brighter
prettier
or whatever
would suit the mood
and it used to hurt
leave these little
scars all over
her heart
they wanted her
to be cold
and unfeeling
hopeless and lost
but they always
underestimated
who she truly was
because they never
took the time
to really find out

Once upon a time
I was weak
I let other people
lead me, break me
make up what I should be
but those days
are behind me
i'm not that weak
little women
who flinches at words
or fears hard hands
that's not me
and never again will it be
I mostly feel like I was sleeping
that the life I was living
was just a dream
that I was not that girl
because how could I let it happen
but now i'm awake
rising from the fire
my skin smeared with ashes
from burning down
the image of what
people thought of me
i'm like a lion
& when I roar
it will shake mountains
and it will instill fear
so just because i'm quiet
and I try to be sweet
doesn't mean that there's not
a beast rolled up inside me
and she will f*ing bite

trust me he says
my demons can play nice
but i could see
snakes slithering under his skin
and i tried to look past that
and see the stars in his eyes
and it would burn when we touched
leaving scars all over
and i was drinking in
memories and hope
night time sounds so loud
when you're alone
sleeping next to someone
you'll never know
and he would laugh
about hateful things
and make me cringe
because the sweet words
were wrapped in lies
leaving me so empty
it's like playing with matches
when you're standing in the ashes

she's more honest than she should be
and sometimes it gets her in trouble
she wants to make the world
better, bigger, brighter
and people can't understand
how important that is to her
& she tries to put it out there
over and over again
look i'm awkward
i'm made of flaws and scars
sometimes i think too much
i feel too much, i want too much
and they push it aside like it's
just more of her ramblings
and it doesn't matter
but really it does
because at the end of the day
she doesn't change
& they say intelligent people
are usually more lonely because
they know what "settling" means
and they're not fit for that
sometimes they settle with something
for so long that
it partly crushes everything
they're made of
and she's been there
walked that hard road
that broken path
and she knows she never will again
she tells you that she's a dangerous
thing to love, not something to be taken
so lightly (like people always do)
it's a warning, it's giving you that freedom
(because isn't that what everyone wants)
so don't get trapped inside her head
her heart because she may not
be able to keep you
and it hurts her to see that
so don't get too close
please, she asks so nicely
because it rarely ever ends well

i was locked in a little box
sometimes it was hard to breathe
and i just wanted some warmth
some comfort, some care
but your touch was always cold
and there was always loneliness there
from your inability to love anyone
or anything
and you just left so many broken
in your path
i spent so long trying to help you
trying to mold you into something better
because i really thought it was possible
because why wouldn't someone want
to just be good and do good
but it was always lies, betrayal
it was long nights and so many tears
it was losing myself, my friends
anyone who cared about me
would be pushed away
or would look sad when they seen me
because i became so empty
because what was the point in being me
when i was always told how
wrong & worthless i was
and it hurt, it hurt a lot
to be treated that way
when i never tried to make you feel
less than or unimportant
and i believed in you
when the whole world could see
right through you
but one day it was like an awakening
and i knew that my heart couldn't
stand another minute of this
and i left, broke those chains
and you didn't see it coming
because you thought i'd always be
whatever you told me i should be
well... ******* man

He started out, just a young man
with big dreams and a spot of land
he worked his fingers to the bone
determined to do this on his own
all the people in the town
knew he worked from sun up to sun down
they'd shake their heads with worry
because he never seemed in a hurry
to build a family, find a wife
he seemed content with a simple life
then it happened without much warning
as he was sitting in church on Sunday morning
and he heard her voice, it was honey-sweet
he couldn't calm his heart beat
and when she caught his eye
he didn't stop to question why
no one had ever made him feel this way
gave him so much beauty, reasons to pray
they started courting, falling fast
his first love would be his last
because he was a serious man
who loved his woman, loved his land
and he wanted to build a life
with the lady he asked to be his wife
they were blessed for many years
struggled through laughter & tears
grew together, made a home
she never made him feel alone
she put the song in his heart
put him together when he fell apart
and he loved her, like the sun loves the sky
but now he sits and wonders why
death came slipping like a thief
left him alone in his grief
she was his world, his queen
and he still finds her in a dream
dancing among the silky grass
and he wants those moments to last
how he is so full of life, of love
but then he wakes up
and she's gone, she's really gone

you should have
someone who falls in love
with the sound of your voice
at 3 am
when the world is asleep
and you're restless
& someone who watches
the moonlight fall across your face
and can feel the stars from
your fingers
you should have
someone who listens to your dreams
and your thoughts
who wants to hear everything
you've ever wanted
someone who will see the bruises
on your soul
the scars on your heart
but tells you you're beautiful anyway
& you should have
someone who wants your happiness
and to play a part in that
someone who doesn't give up so easily
in a world where everyone
gives up all the time
and you should have
all your wishes come true
and someone sweet
to share them with

she would try to tell you
i can be a good friend
because i love people
& i like to listen
i'm fascinated by their actions
their words, their thoughts
she would try to tell you
that tomorrow will be a better day
that there's always sunshine
behind the rain
and that you'd never be handed
more than you could bear
but she'd also tell you not to expect
much more than this
because she would never want
to let anyone get too close
because she was full of broken pieces
and you might get cut in the process
of knowing her and that would
make her sadder than anything

you can't randomly tell me
that you love me
but that it'll never change
whatever this "situation" is
but i know it isn't right for me
because it caused me pain
and i'm so over that
i remember green eyes
& long talks
& laughing about everything
and those moments when
i actually felt safe for a little while
but what happened?
when did those sweet words
turn to doubt
and you wanted to
turn the world inside out
maybe that's not for me to
understand or even question
and i'm okay with that
i wish you well because you
were such a dear friend to me
and we can't take those things back
we can't undo it all
or just pretend it didn't happen
and maybe i'll always love you a little
but that wasn't enough
for me

she likes her music loud
& to read long books
she likes good movies
with twisted plots
and she likes to hear
the sound of your laughter
or whispers at 3 am
when you can't hold
your secrets anymore
and she likes to stand
in the shadows and observe
or listen to people when
they talk and you can feel
their emotions rolling into yours
and she feels so much in those moments
that you may not understand
but if you watch her long enough
you'll wonder how she never broke
she likes rich desserts
and really lame jokes
and shopping for things second hand
she has so many quirks
and admits she's a nerd
but she's come to feel
like she really doesn't care
she doesn't want everything
just a few simple things
and to know that she really
isn't too much
but just enough

lose yourself
you won't break
you're just gonna
dance anyway
if it can drive
those demons out
i say shake those
hips a little faster
move to the music
until you can't feel
how ******* up
this world can be
and maybe you'll find
some hope
bits of sunshine
coming through
on your darkest days
and i pray
that you will be
all that you're capable of
so go on and dance
those demons away

Rainy days make her manic
& certain sounds make her panic
wild eyes and long dark hair
dancing around without a care
to chase the demons, fight the dark
just calm the racing of her heart
when she can't get a grip
& can feel it all slip
she feels like screaming
to stop this dreaming
and let go of this disease
that brings her to her knees
she'll fold her hands and pray
that she makes it through another day
and that she escapes this prison she built
like a flower you can watch her wilt
her moods go from happy to sad
and people say it's not that bad
but they don't know, they don't see
how she's fighting to be free
from herself, her worries, her fears
she spent so long hiding the tears
and she hides the sickness, the scars
that cover her body like stars
and she just wants that chance
to be normal, so she'll dance

my life was literally
falling down all around me
and you were my friend
the only friend i really had
and i talked to you all hours of the night
about what went wrong in life
and why people turn out the way they do
i found comfort in your voice
words that seemed to soothe me
give me that peace i so desperately needed
five years of not being "allowed" to be emotional
to be thoughtful or loving
because it was "inconvienent"
and i was too much and so tiresome
and i knew that and i tried to change
i tried to fit the needs of others
and it left me so empty
walking around like a shell, a ghost
of who i used to be
and i hurt inside all the time
but you gave me that brief glimpse of hope
and you whispered sweet words
that became empty promises
and that part hurt, i'm not going to lie
it bothered me so much because
really it was pointless
and it never should've happened
because we can't just be friends
i was never wired that way
and i'm sorry for you
because i could've been
the best friend you ever had

my life was literally
falling down all around me
and you were my friend
the only friend i really had
and i talked to you all hours of the night
about what went wrong in life
and why people turn out the way they do
i found comfort in your voice
words that seemed to soothe me
give me that peace i so desperately needed
five years of not being "allowed" to be emotional
to be thoughtful or loving
because it was "inconvienent"
and i was too much and so tiresome
and i knew that and i tried to change
i tried to fit the needs of others
and it left me so empty
walking around like a shell, a ghost
of who i used to be
and i hurt inside all the time
but you gave me that brief glimpse of hope
and you whispered sweet words
that became empty promises
and that part hurt, i'm not going to lie
it bothered me so much because
really it was pointless
and it never should've happened
because we can't just be friends
i was never wired that way
and i'm sorry for you
because i could've been
the best friend you ever had

people confuse me
that line alone
could be the shortest poem
i've ever wrote
but there's such truth
in that statement
no one values
one another
and feelings
and relationships
and emotions
they become the
secondhand things
and it's easy to forget
to never take things
seriously
life shouldn't be
so complicated
and lies should never
be so abundant
because there's beauty
in honesty
in realness
but people confuse me
because they don't
value it anymore

i watched the way the stars
hung in the night
and landed softly in your eyes
and it made me feel
something new
something different
i wanted to hold on to that moment
because i knew it wouldn't last
i guess nothing is forever
but i kept that moment
held it too tightly for a while
before i realized the only way
i could really love you
is to let you go
because it was you
at the end of the day
that made that decision
and i hope you never regret it
i hope you find whatever makes
you happy
because i've never been
very good at waiting
for something i'm not sure of
maybe you'll understand that
or maybe you won't
but i have so much life to live
with or without someone

she'd wrap herself in different shades of blue
she learned pretty words weren't always true
and that the world wouldn't always be good
people you didn't think would hurt you probably would
and that sometimes you have to smile through the tears
and never look back on anything as wasted years
but as lessons, as a way to grow
maybe she'd learn what she didn't know
how to be a little braver, bolder
even if that meant she had to be colder
if it would save the pieces of her messy heart
maybe she'd be okay, it would be a start
to something more beautiful than she could understand
maybe she'd learn to blend in, walking in this foreign land
and maybe just maybe she'd feel peace in her soul
and find all the missing things that would make her whole

she could've been
the last great love affair
like rain on a summer day
she could've been the one
that you'd been looking for
but you passed her over
so easily
let her go
because it was
easier than having
to actually try
she was too emotional
too much for you
and that was okay
if the pieces to the puzzle
didn't fit
it was for the best
if you had to pretend
then saying goodbye
was best for everyone
because she would've been
the only one
you would've never had
to pretend with
because she was honest
deep in her bones
and her heart played
a song that she kept
hoping you would hear
but it fell on deaf ears
and she came up with
empty palms
where she thought your hands
would someday fit
but she knows that this
is part of life, part of her

when she was a little girl
with little girl wishes
she had a journal
& in ******* letters
she wrote
"Plans & Dreams"
she wrote faithfully
about what she thought
her life would be
that someday she kept waiting for
then she turned 30
and she realized that
the life she wanted
that she imagined
maybe it wasn't right for her
that she would be the best
mother that she could be
a good daughter, a good friend

you should have
someone who falls in love
with the sound of your voice
at 3 am
when the world is asleep
and you're restless
& someone who watches
the moonlight fall across your face
and can feel the stars from
your fingers
you should have
someone who listens to your dreams
and your thoughts
who wants to hear everything
you've ever wanted
someone who will see the bruises
on your soul
the scars on your heart
but tells you you're beautiful anyway
& you should have
someone who wants your happiness
and to play a part in that
someone who doesn't give up so easily
in a world where everyone
gives up all the time
and you should have
all your wishes come true
and someone sweet
to share them with

and sometimes
her heart would ache
heavy with the weight
of all the words she
couldn't say
because they
wouldn't change anything
and the only thing she
could change is herself
she longed to do better
to be better
to find that balance
instead of the
all or nothing
which is all she'd ever known
she didn't give up on people easily
even when she knew
she probably should
and that was the painful part
how it was always easy
for people to give up on her

build it up just to burn it down
i feel trapped in this town
when there are other worlds than this
so tired of this hit and miss
be beautiful, be brave
you are not a slave
and what confines
never defines
and it will never shatter
if you make it matter
give it roots or give it wings
find your peace in pretty things
empty out the coldness of your heart
find the light shining in the dark
and know that there's more tomorrows
to sing away the pain, the sorrows
life doesn't have to be so tragic
just dance because you're made of magic

she didn't care if she was ever beautiful
she just wanted to make the world beautiful
she wanted to take long walks
and reflect on deeper things
she wanted to talk quietly
but only a few people would hear this
but she was always open
when they poured their hearts out
like putting their pain in her hands
& maybe she could fix it
she would try to offer comforting words
but maybe it was just the way they could tell
how every word seemed to touch deep to her bones
and she could relate in some way or another
but she looked at them, slightly confused
unsure of how she became so different
because shouldn't everyone feel this way
this connection
this bond that humans should share
the need to love one another
and mend one another
and sometimes she had to distance herself
because it became too much
all the weights she had to carry
and she doesn't know if she should
sleep or cry
for the things she can't fix
& she knows they're not her burdens
but she feels that they are

someone once asked her
what it was like
to hold that box of darkness
because it looked heavy
cracked and old
locked up tight
she'd just smile and
shake her head
because that secret was hers
and hers alone
no one knew that what she carried
was the weight of others, their wrong doings
the secrets she promised to keep
even the ones that were slowly killing her
but she wanted more than anything
to take their pain away
because she was always pulled
to those who were broken
misguided and lost
because they reminded her
of who she used to be
and if she could help
soothe their souls
ease the broken hearted
then life would be sweeter
but sometimes it didn't make a bit of sense
and she felt the box grow heavy
colder and she started to feel empty
maybe it's time
to bury that box

guard your heart and spill your dreams
or you'll come apart at the seams
you are a beautiful creature, spirit alive
but now you have to learn to survive
never let the world leave you cold & empty
there's darkness here and despair is plenty
but watch the stars against the night
you will find your way, you will find the light
and all that hope you've been saving up
you'll see that you were always good enough
the ground beneath you might quiver and shake
but you my love were never one to give in and break
shining like the summer sun
don't let your secrets come undone
don't let it make you bitter, frail
this is your life, your story to tell

she found comfort in sea side towns
and how the waves felt beneath her
it was the closest to safe
she'd felt in forever
she wanted to take photos
of strangers and
listen to their stories
because human connection
is by far the sweetest thing we have
and she wanted to capture
that moment in time
when you could see their memories
in the lines of their face
and how their eyes would light up
when they talked about life
she wanted to see how beautiful
or how dark
others viewed the world
because it felt so important
and when their words were sad
and you could hear the pain
in their soft voices
she could feel that ache in her chest
and how she hurt so much
for the broken
for the lost
for the lonely
and god she wanted to save them all
but she knew she really couldn't
so she'd just love them
as best as she knew how
because it felt right
it made her happy
and sometimes that's all she'd have
pictures to help remember
& stories burned into her brain

she wanted something simple & sweet
to just feel the earth beneath her feet
she wanted to find that touch of magic
because really nothing's that tragic
if you find the stories to tell
live them free and live them well
she wanted to be the change
in a world so unreal and strange
but she never knew quite where to start
to spill the secrets in her heart
sometimes the world would make her ache
but she was never meant to bend or break
she'd just push on each day
finding a reason to smile, to pray
because there's always more
if you know what you're searching for
and somedays she felt so lost, empty
mistakes and tears they were plenty
but she'd find the balance, the calm
something to hold right in her palm
and make it beautiful, some how
when she's living in the now
finding the freedom, the grace
you can see it all in her face
if you're willing to look
you could read her like a book

she never wanted anyone
to tell her she was pretty
because it felt so empty
and unreal because she mostly
didn't feel that way
and they mostly only saw her
when she was broken and sad
don't love her like that
or you'll never know her
you'll let her go &
maybe regret it later
the girl who slipped through
like a ghost but she haunts you still
love her when she's happy
when she's doing what she loves
when she feels well and whole
or don't love her at all
because you don't know her
she doesn't need you to tell her shallow things
she has no time for that
and everything with her must have meaning
she's complicated but she has simple needs
she doesn't expect you to catch the stars
only to sit and watch them with her

he says maybe i should come inside
find a place for my demons to hide
because i see rain in your skin
and you're where i should begin
to drive my darkness out
i'm so tired of fear and doubt
i want something safe and warm
find some shelter from the storm
where all my broken peaces can mend
maybe a lover or maybe a friend
it wouldn't matter
if we don't shatter
if we don't break
maybe it'll dull the ache
of yesterdays sorrows
bring on better tomorrows
i see comfort in your lips
trace your face with my fingertips
and i'll find my release
in your soul i'll find my peace
if you'll just let me in
feel the rain on your skin
and she smiles like sunshine
dancing her away across the time
if she can dull the ache, the pain
she never listens to her brain
it's the heart that leads her blindly
someday she's gonna learn