you could almost see
ink flowing through her veins
and how she spread her words
across her heart
waiting for someone to
read them
and she may have been
complicated
but she had such
simple needs
but no one took her
seriously
and she let things
hurt far more than they should
because she truly cared about
people. everyone. everything
because it felt right to her
and she had no idea
how to be anything else
because sometimes she
wished she could
but if you were to pick apart
all these little pieces
and how memories always stain
then maybe you could
see something
special there

people confuse me
that line alone
could be the shortest poem
i've ever wrote
but there's such truth
in that statement
no one values
one another
and feelings
and relationships
and emotions
they become the
secondhand things
and it's easy to forget
to never take things
seriously
life shouldn't be
so complicated
and lies should never
be so abundant
because there's beauty
in honesty
in realness
but people confuse me
because they don't
value it anymore

she could've been
the last great love affair
like rain on a summer day
she could've been the one
that you'd been looking for
but you passed her over
so easily
let her go
because it was
easier than having
to actually try
she was too emotional
too much for you
and that was okay
if the pieces to the puzzle
didn't fit
it was for the best
if you had to pretend
then saying goodbye
was best for everyone
because she would've been
the only one
you would've never had
to pretend with
because she was honest
deep in her bones
and her heart played
a song that she kept
hoping you would hear
but it fell on deaf ears
and she came up with
empty palms
where she thought your hands
would someday fit
but she knows that this
is part of life, part of her

she was eating
pears on the rooftop
& singing Tom Petty songs
in flip flops & sunglasses
watching people passing by
and she'd never get tired of this
making up stories in her head
of who she thought they were
because that was so much sweeter
and gentler than what was real
she could see how beautiful
the world really was
and it always amazed her
when others couldn't see
past the sad and the ugly
the broken and the pain
there were flowers blooming
in the meadows
children dancing to summertime sounds
people laughing and singing
if only in little spurts
it was enough
to get her by
and she'd hold on tight
to what she believed
and she chose to believe
that life is
beautiful

when she was a little girl
with little girl wishes
she had a journal
& in ******* letters
she wrote
"Plans & Dreams"
she wrote faithfully
about what she thought
her life would be
that someday she kept waiting for
then she turned 30
and she realized that
the life she wanted
that she imagined
maybe it wasn't right for her
that she would be the best
mother that she could be
a good daughter, a good friend

and sometimes
her heart would ache
heavy with the weight
of all the words she
couldn't say
because they
wouldn't change anything
and the only thing she
could change is herself
she longed to do better
to be better
to find that balance
instead of the
all or nothing
which is all she'd ever known
she didn't give up on people easily
even when she knew
she probably should
and that was the painful part
how it was always easy
for people to give up on her

she'd wrap herself in different shades of blue
she learned pretty words weren't always true
and that the world wouldn't always be good
people you didn't think would hurt you probably would
and that sometimes you have to smile through the tears
and never look back on anything as wasted years
but as lessons, as a way to grow
maybe she'd learn what she didn't know
how to be a little braver, bolder
even if that meant she had to be colder
if it would save the pieces of her messy heart
maybe she'd be okay, it would be a start
to something more beautiful than she could understand
maybe she'd learn to blend in, walking in this foreign land
and maybe just maybe she'd feel peace in her soul
and find all the missing things that would make her whole