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i will hold you when you are weak
even if i can't find the words to speak
and brush the tears that you may cry
but i'm not ready yet, to say goodbye
you may get sicker, you may lose your hair
but i can promise you i'll be right there
to hold your hand and hug you tight
in the darkness i will be your light
i will love you harder with each day
on my knees each night i'll pray
for more time, because i haven't had enough
you're the one i need, it's you i'll always love
i'll be right by your side through thin and thick
richer or poorer, if you're healthy or sick
because that's what love is, what it means
this lifetime we've shared, each others dreams
and i promise i won't give up on you
and somehow i know we'll make it through
it's so hard not to question why
i'm not ready yet... to say goodbye
she liked to watch the roses bloom
out by the window in her room
sometimes she felt the world passing her by
but it didn't feel right to sit and cry
even though it was a tough hand she was dealt
she never let it overwhelm her, the way she felt
she found joy listening to the birds sing
in this house she had everything
but sometimes when the night was still
she would wonder how this world could be real
outside her window, outside her door
there was something greater, something more
was this her prison or her haven
the life she had, was it worth saving?
the house smells like medicine, and slow death
there's a struggle in each and every breath
she finds her joys in books and song
puts on a brave face, struggles to be strong
prayers are whispered in her ear
telling her the end is near
and that it's okay to just let go
& find the place where flowers grow
i wonder now what dreams she seeks
i remember baby pink sheets & rosy cheeks
i remember soft cries
looking in her big blue eyes
and my heart had never known that ache
would i ever think this was a mistake
but i was so far from home
15 years old and all alone
no where to go, no way to provide
to the child i had carried inside
i loved her, like i've never loved before
but i wanted her to have so much more
than i could ever give, than i would ever know
how i wish i could've watched her grow
every night i'd lie and weep
wishing i could rock her to sleep
and hold her close, hold her tight
singing lullabies to her through the night
i had to think of her, not just me
give her a future, an opportunity
one day something changed it all
as i sat there waiting for her to call
because she had found me after all these years
i've never felt so much, cried so many tears
when i finally heard my daughters voice
i knew that i made the right choice
because she said "thank you mom"
heartache, i've felt plenty
when dreams leave me empty
there's nothing left to cry
when all my tears run dry
and i can picture it in my head
going over the words you said
and i'm stepping into a tub, water so clear
it's your hate, your bitter voice i hear
that brings me closer to the knife
this isn't living, this isn't life
when it overwhelms, just waking up
knowing i've never been worthy of love
i feel the old familiar sting
know i can't change anything
everything has twists and turns
but i like the way my skin burns
when i feel the cold metal against my skin
and silently hope i won't wake up again
too much time alone to think
watching the water turning pink
because i couldn't cut deep enough
you tell me i'm a *****
that i nag and whine
that i'm stupid
and useless
and you make me feel
so empty
so ugly
so crazy
when i tell you it hurts
so bad
too bad to keep going
you offer me a rusty razor
and tell me to just do it
because you're tired of hearing
my voice
i don't know how much more i can take
before i finally crumble and break
tired of feeling worthless, i dont matter
i can feel each crack, my heart's gonna shatter
because this wasn't the life i planned
sitting here just trying to understand
when i became so useless, wanna give up
tired of drinking from a broken cup
and thinking things are gonna get better somehow
but it didn't then and it's not happening now
i'm tired of feeling unpretty, unwanted
looking in the mirror, eyes so haunted
by the person i used to be
and i just wish i could see
how i ever thought i deserved anything
because i guess i really don't
they wanted numbers, they wanted names
she stood there watching it go up in flames
they said it was a breakdown, descent in to madness
but no one ever grasped the depth of her sadness
and how quick a candle could start a fire
carefully placed near a faulty wire
she stands there, both eyes black
the straw that broke the camels back
when he threw her down the stairs last night
ten years she's spent trying to avoid the fight
the hands that hold her down
that push and pull and slap her around
too far gone, she felt she had no use
it was all her fault, every incident of abuse
something she did, to provoke him that way
on her knees every night trying to pray
that this would stop, it would end
no family, not a single friend
just the loneliness that tears her apart
too long living with a broken heart
when love should never be like this
hard hands, empty words, sealed with a kiss
and a promise it'll never happen again
well this time it won't.
I don't think ****** is right. But I also think domestic violence is never acceptable.
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