As the years tick on,
my memories remain.
You were so broken;
drugs your only friend.
But you smiled at me,
and I wanted to take your pain away.

Your hand fit mine
just like a puzzle piece.
Inseparable we became,
and the drugs slowly faded out.

You would take me to parks,
and we'd watch the sun set.
The colors were always clearer
with you by my side.

And even as I struggled,
you never left me.
You healed all my wounds
and showed me that not everyone was bad.
You would hold me through the tears,
and talk to me through the nightmares.

Sometimes I still find the notes
you had hid around my room.
I wonder if you can see me,
atop your pearly white cloud.
And I wonder if you miss me
like I constantly miss you.

I'm told to move on-
that dwelling on ghosts
is a terrible habit.
But how do you move on
from someone who meant everything to you?

Maybe we'll meet again
somewhere up in heaven.
Like two missing pieces
to the same damaged puzzle.

I don't know where to turn,
what to do,
who to go to.
My brain is ****** up,
broken-
Thoughts misconstrued; misspoken.
I stumble over my words,
unable to put a clear sentence together.
I claw at the fog,
scream at the darkness
but there's no one there.
How do I fight back,
when I'm fighting myself?
I want to go back to
the things i used to do.
Rip at the flesh and bleed out the pain,
over and over again.
I want to drink myself to numbness,
smoke away the agony.
I want to slip into obscurity.
Please, please help me.

If only you could have seen me yesterday,
I was running around and refusing change.
But I found this passion,
something indescribable.
If you had looked the other day,
you would have seen a broken heart
or the battle scars.
But I've broken from the chains,
I'm finally feeling alive.
I am not what I have done,
I'm what I've overcome.
I know I will stumble,
and maybe fall down.
But the sky ahead is golden
and the sun warms my bones.
I've made my mistakes,
but who hasn't?
The going will get rough,
but I will not break.
I have someone saving me.