The first time we sat together,
just you and I,
I rolled up my sleeves to show you
the secrets I kept hidden there.
My nerves were going crazy,
and I felt sick to my stomach.
You looked and you scanned
the rows of scars across my arms.
I never spoke of them directly,
but I told you I was lost once,
lost to myself and everyone around.
I told you there were things I did
just to survive myself.
You never spoke,
and I grabbed your hand,
bringing it over the ridged flesh.
Even with all of these deformities,
in your eyes I'm still beautiful.

I don't know where to turn,
what to do,
who to go to.
My brain is ****** up,
broken-
Thoughts misconstrued; misspoken.
I stumble over my words,
unable to put a clear sentence together.
I claw at the fog,
scream at the darkness
but there's no one there.
How do I fight back,
when I'm fighting myself?
I want to go back to
the things i used to do.
Rip at the flesh and bleed out the pain,
over and over again.
I want to drink myself to numbness,
smoke away the agony.
I want to slip into obscurity.
Please, please help me.

If only you could have seen me yesterday,
I was running around and refusing change.
But I found this passion,
something indescribable.
If you had looked the other day,
you would have seen a broken heart
or the battle scars.
But I've broken from the chains,
I'm finally feeling alive.
I am not what I have done,
I'm what I've overcome.
I know I will stumble,
and maybe fall down.
But the sky ahead is golden
and the sun warms my bones.
I've made my mistakes,
but who hasn't?
The going will get rough,
but I will not break.
I have someone saving me.