Hope
It is a battle between the head and the heart
It is ignorant to reality
It pries on our fantasies

Hope
It is being confident in something ambiguous
It is putting everything on the line
For a maybe
A what if
A perhaps...

Hope
It is both assuring
And deluding
Satisfying
And starving.

Hope*
It is a battle between the head and the heart
But the *heart must always win.

They say sticks and stones
Have the strength to break my bones
But words break my heart.

This smile on my face
Feels so out of place
However, I know that this time
It is definitely not fake.

It is real.

Because you put it there.
You stuck it on when you gazed into my eyes
When you reassured me that
Everything will be alright.
And they will, oh they certainly will
Because I have you
*By my side

Mother, can you not see
That the pressure you put onto me
Weighs me down each day like a tonne of bricks
And tugs at my insecurities
You want me to be perfect, for image is everything
And since I am not perfect
I guess I am
fake
I guess I am worthless
I pretend to be happy, I pretend to be smart
I pretend to be talented...
But I am a failure at heart
I am a failure to myself
For if I were anyone else
I would be so much more perfect
By just being real
For real things are worth it.

The colour of your eyes are brown
A boring, uninteresting shade of brown
I do not drown in your eyes
I do not become mesmerized
But
I can see
The love
The passion
The intensity
Of your character
Through those eyes that may not draw attention to anyone at first
Eyes that are not the rare shade of blue or emerald
But
When your smile is witnessed
Your genuine
Sincere
And utterly attractive smile
They will understand your eyes
Like I do.

"The world's greatest daughter, forever and always."
That was what you used to call me.
You said it with
Such pride
Such happiness
Such confidence
You used to carry me on your shoulders as we were enveloped by my wild laughter
I was proud, I was happy, and a was confident at the fact that I was in fact
The world's greatest and luckiest daughter
And yet, three years later, to the other side of the country you ran
Not a single letter
Not a single text message
Not a single call
Nothing.
Because that's what I am to you now... right?
Nothing.
And I will, forever and always, be nothing to you.

I saw my mum cry
once
Young I was, but I was smart enough to know that things were not right.
She wept through her fingers and tried to catch the mayhem of tears balling from her eyes
Her soft whimpers seeped through the silence of her room and whispered in my ears
She hid within the shadows of her bed, oblivious to the fact that I was watching
That I, a seven year old little girl, was watching by her door with ineffable confusion and angst

Till this day
She remains unaware that she was being watched that very night
And till this day
I remain forever aware that my mother;
My beautiful, loving and strong mother
Carries a broken heart filled with broken dreams
Every single day.