You were never in love with me.

You were in love with the thought of me. With the little messed up head of yours, you knew that you didn't need me. You just wanted someone around. To keep you company and go through your ******* with you. Someone to stick around long enough to show you that there was more to life. But it was different for a while. You actually felt loved and didn't know how to handle it. Growing up unloved, you finally felt something more. Love hits you like looking at a rainbow after a rainy day. I didn't ask for anything in return, but your love and to be there when I needed you.

You were in love with the future of being in love. You didn't commit to anyone, because you knew that you would be able to find someone. It was all too easy for you. Find someone and date them, get rid of them, next. But when you finally found someone to commit your time to, it changed you. You talked about having a future with kids. Telling them stories about how this one girl changed you into a better man. It was too soon for words, cheating was too much of a habit.

You were in love with the thought of having someone to love. It didn't matter if you loved the person as much as the one before, but as long as each girl stayed long enough, you were alright. You just needed someone to love in that period of time. It didn't matter if it was equivalent to the same love she gave you, to you it was something. No one mattered as much as your ego. You wanted someone there to hold your hand and kiss infront of your friends, but you felt completely nothing. Using someone for your own pleasure. You were dead on heartless.

You are not in love with me.
**You are in love with love.

Another hand across your body
Another pair of lips on your neck
Another few hours worth of happiness
That a body will keep you company tonight

When you regret waking up next to different people in the morning
That's when you start living

Remember the time
i held you close
and you wrapped me in your arms
it felt like forever

And the time
your mouth invaded mine
because to us
that was love

Or the many times
we had lunch dates
you held my hand
through it all

I wrote notes on your cigarretes
to remind you of us
what we are
and what we will be

Cause i've loved you at your darkest
strongest
weakest
and most vulnerable

And i love you more each day

l.m

I am not Friday evenings,
nor am I Sunday mornings.
I am more of a hot Wednesday afternoon,
when you step outside and take
another puff from your cigarrete .
Or a day that never
became a leap day.
Maybe I'm just one of those days
that take you by the throat
and squeeze just a little too much.
"it's just another bad day"
Another bad day to ask myself why the
demons I keep in jars always end up in my head.
And then you realise that these days are killing you,
inhaling what tastes like death.
Or maybe I am today.
Today sounds like a better idea.

l.m

You have three tattoos. Full lips and good strong hands.
You have spots on your nose that I could never fully count.
You have a scar on your right arm, from that hot iron that one time.
The first time you pulled off your shirt, I traced the line with my fingers and fell in love.
You are so much more, from living from that moment to this one.
You always seem to apologise for the little mistakes we make.  
Your body is a map I know every inch of and if anyone else were to kiss me, all they would taste is your name.

l.m