Hating too much
eating up my insides
blinding the little sparks of happiness
it is you who made me this way
an applause,
I dont blame you for trusting you
You're a witty one aren't you?
Beautiful as you seem theres more underneath
I should have listened to them,
you're one heck of a beast
Words you use as weapons to deceive me
as I fall into deep

because this feeling,

like thousands of miles away

from where we once were, yes outer-space

occurring around the midst of may

all the secrets buried within our hearts

this vision turning into a blur and oh, were falling apart

so many thoughts I start to doubt,

so many memories I begin to recount

this endless pain years after years

nothings left but these dried up tears.

walking zombie
i eat i laugh i sleep
no substance to this present
these simplicities that easily covers up

finally had enough courage
tilting on the end
yet again failed
confusion always striking
harder and harder each time
piercing through every inch of mine

fears,
eating you up inside
uncertainty,
the numbness at a certain point
a maddening zombie coming to life

layers upon layers,
pieces to pieces,
covering up
each time with a better strategy
in time wondering
will it ever wear out
just like
me

theres just no escape from this misery,
no escape from these thoughts
from eating you up inside
full of something
irony
and all that there is
emptiness.

I say vivid and surreal
someday Ill find you

To wait,
To hope,
thats all that there is
for that day, your coming.

And for your arrival
my purpose would be
much much more
vivid and surreal.

But for now I cant help but wonder
Is this worth it?
will I ever surpass this
or let me rot at the end

this so called waiting
these thoughts filling my head
its an optical illusion.

From wandering and from astray,
this very instant
this sketchy world I live in
my only mission is:
to find you whoever you are:
My other half.

This is the journey thats about to begin
the one Ive been longing,
the one from within.
Moments of moments they slowly unravel
whilst searching for destiny through this gravel

So heres goes another story
searching for a glory
but why do I get this overwhelming reality?
All this awaiting, this desirous thrill
sends a bolt- down my spine;
like a thunderous chill

Here I go,
set me free
and we shall see how this-
will turn out
to be.

Unbearable, Im at it again
Shutting myself from it all
all the negativity pouring in.
Inflicting pain on the outside,
reflecting from within.

Uncontrollably, ironically mindless I do
This sensation that helps keep me sane
whilst putting a big smile on

Unaware of the breaking-point,
holding as much as I can.
Mortified of myself and all that consists of me
Theres nothing, nothing
not enough words to mend what Ive become

At the edge,
I falter, I stumble
as hopeless I can be
breaking, falling
I am weak.

Love can involve one person or two,
it is what holds people together like glue.
But when his love is not enough,
to go through her trials that are tough.
He wonders why it inflicts so much pain,
whether its a loss or a gain.
Forgive and forget are the words she'd say
but it never seems to change nor go that way.
As time goes by, this nightmare dies, she lies awake to realize
then she sees where her future lies
his love, his warmth, his laughter, his touch
that fills her heart, seemed never too much.
Then the time comes as he knelt before her and give her the promise of loyalty and love.

hanging
you left me hanging
these feelings we once had
starts to get me thinking

what was once was
powerful and formidable-
life drifting us apart
no matter how,
we try so hard.

Slowly,
gone and forgotten
nothing left
just a spec of shadows from the memories
soon it began,
faded

I know you hear me calling
Im lost Im lost
Im pleading
put me back to pieces.
You watch and sit there with that grin of yours
watching me deteriorate.
Ive seen it before,
feeling empowered you know you've done it again
******* the life out of someone
thats what you do best.

It was that stare
We stood so far, we both couldn't bare
that desire for each other we both knew that,
started during that friday night with a little chat.
It was extraordinary alright, for me at least.
I cant help but think, hoping you're not some kind of beast.
Unfolding each layer, piece by piece,
he holds me tight into a squeeze
I feel safe, Im at home
Feelings come back yet so unknown.
Anticipating for a stumble
Will my heart yet again crumble?

he cut out my wings
right before my eyes
shaky, I sit and stare

caught by an undertow
gasping for air
****** in through his current,
pulled by his flow

theres no escape from this nightmare,
no glimpse of a hope
these baffling thoughts that wouldn't subside
and in the midst of it all, I cant help but notice
this rope.