I’ve followed you into the rain
You said I wouldn’t get wet.
I let you make me insane
You said don’t turn back yet.

You are my protector,
but I need protection from you.

You are my savior,
but who will save me when we’re through.

I’m soaking all the way to my soul.
Drowning in your puddles.

I didn’t feed my addictions today,
They took me over and got in the way.
I couldn’t keep back the flood.
Swift river of regret.

Is this depression or anxiety ?
I don’t feel anxious. I don’t feel sad.
I feel like I’ve been here before.
Walked in this room...opened this door.

On the other side, I found poetry.
I found words that flowed eloquently.
Poetry to free my mind. Release me from rewind.
Free me from regret and pain.
   Make me feel.  
Poetry I’m counting on you.
My newest addiction to get me through.

I’ve gone over it 100 times.
The replay well defined.
My perception of events and
My mistakes enshrined.

The hardest part is knowing.
I’m not who I thought I was.  
So easily angered just because.

Constant reflection comforts me.
Still reaching for who I want to be.
Something different from reality.