I killed you
I know that now
And I'm ready to take responsibility for my actions

I saw you hit the floor
Through the veil of pistol smoke
And the haze of awkward admissions of guilt
Dead or dying brain cells
Grasping breaths
And silence

I killed you
Because you had become a monster
Not like Frankenstein
But like the arrogant ******* who brought him to life
I killed you
Because it seemed like the most reasonable course of action at the time

I watched your insides boil and burst
With every creaking door hinge
And empty, hollow, cob-webbed emotion
I saw your eyes go dim
As youth blossomed into ungainly structure
And loss
I listened to your blood-caked final words
"Tell them...
I said something prophetic"

I buried you
Wore black and dropped flowers
Sang songs of remembrance
And moved on

I killed you
I know that now
And while I'm not apologizing
I am asking forgiveness

Not from you
Your dead

From myself

Today I found a glass bottle
Washed upon the charcoal breakers of Long Beach
Containing a message
Written by a starving man,
Marooned on a treeless island,
Lost in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean
Which read quite simply

"Please,
Save yourself.

*I'm finally free."

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I never wanted to be a poet
I wanted to be a monster-hunter
Until the day I found out
How much scarier thoughts are
Now
I hunt those instead