I was hatched not Borned. I crawled from under a rocky moss in the darkest of forests. Where no tree was ever heard falling. Where sunlight in it's eeriest form would creep in through the treetops, never touching ground. There I was born and should have remained, in the cool damp darkness of the forest.


I had roots buried deep by a lake. Raising my arms high into the sky I left that place uprooted like wings to land here, where I am. And should never be.

My fort was burned to cinders today. Smoke, charred lumber remains amongst the ashes.  Where we all began.  Where I shall return.

I may have been the impish wood nymph who teased you in my forest, where people would come to play. Some settled within my hallows taking what once was, my haven.

I have discovered I am and was nothing. Thinking so well of myself and others. Lost for such a long time. Like eons.
A day came & light shined so brightly it blinded me. Skin pale now darkening.  Warmth my heart had never imagined. Today all of that was merely just that.  What I could have never imagined.  The non existence of love something my sight my heart has never seen. Now lost unable to let go of what was simply a dream.


The time has come to leave the light of this place. To roam throughout space, endless, timeless,  nothing tangible or real.
That is my place, my haven of havens where dreams are realized for being just that. Dreams
I bid to all fondest goodbyes, look to the stars, look to the skies.  There I will be forever unseen to the human eye. Watching over you.

How could I ever had wanted more, one so underserved. How arrogant to ask for anything. Especially love, more so, your love. That which was not mine to take, nor yours to offer. How I wanted that warming ember, that chilling spine tingling sensation your eyes gave me. Like a greedy ogre seeing light for the first time. Something precious, vibrant new.  Transforming me into something I had always wished to be. Simply loved, no longer alone, afraid.  A dream beyond dreams. Now a nightmare of humiliation fear hate and anger.  If this never existed, then why should I ?

Words written from the eyes of a child. Who once saw things with such amazement and wondrous awe.  A child who danced and sang in the fields of flowers, skies of rainbows, laughter & light.
Tackled, shackled, beaten to darkness. Waking with loss of all the childish wonder. Seeing things so differently. No songs or music, no rainbow skies or laughter heard or seen again.  Then she came. I peered from the darkness in fear. Catching a glimpse of the sparkle in her eyes. Left mesmerized, warm wanting more. Slithering from the darkness I crept behind.  Touched her hand. She, looking down, smiled and lifted me to my feet. The first time I have seen eye to eye in time lost I cannot remember when last. I, we reveled in this passionate embrace.  Seeing a lifetime in front of me of love, freedom to be just me. No eyes straining.  A hand so soft warm and comforting touching my face. Giving me life.  
Today I woke to discover. This was my own illusion. My own to desire to be loved as I once was a child. All taken away by this illusion, perhaps my childish delusions that one like me could me loved, as I have loved you. I look in the mirror, you no longer looking back at me from behind. Faded like a wisp of smoke. I discover, you never were. Just my own illusion.

Laughter echoes in my dreams
you are beside me, or so it seems
Awake to feel your eyes, so warm
so very tranquil in the darkest storm
Smiles etched so deeply inside my mind
of ones so thoughtful, deep & kind
A friend to me beyond compare
such friendship like this, quite so rare
To hear your whisper in the air
to look across, an empty chair
Beyond you've gone from this place
still hear your voice, & see your face
Life still tumbles end to end
always with me, dearest friend.