You'll always be first
Tied together forever
What a mess we've made.


Running from the cops
I ****** you to get even
Nothing more than that.

This will be our last
The end to our playground love
I try to forget

Shotgunning your vape
I tried to get to know you
You didn't let me

I don't even know
what your actual name is
but you made me ***.

For such a big truck
and all that talk that you talk
you didn't last long

I took a xanax
And your face looked just like his
And then you were done

I hope this isn't
the only haiku for you.
I kind of like you.

We finally ******
then someone else came along
to mess it all up.

Back where we started
I thought things were said and done
Never say never

sometimes i want to be healthy
so i can be happy
and laugh
and talk to people
without thinking
too much

sometimes i don't
so i can **** up
and live
in this world
between living and
dying

if i am healthy
will i still have things to
write about?
will i still be
interesting?

and if i am not
maybe i will create something
beautiful

instead of trying
and failing
and trying
and failing
to make myself
beautiful

It's basically a game. You get in, you get what you want, you get the hell out. Make small talk with the employees if it makes you feel more comfortable, because the key is to blend in. Don't look suspicious. Cool, calm, and collected. If you can do that, you're basically half way there.
The other half is justifying it. But you're young, you're poor, you're pretty, and for God's sake, you're ******* entitled to it, right?

The most important thing to remember afterwards is to not get attached.
Because you stole it, you didn't work for it. You took what wasn't yours and the universe has every right to take it back. And of course, there is Karma, the ***** that caught it all on tape

So steal it. Steal the top and the cute high heels and the shiny ring and the poor boy's heart.
But don't think for a second that it'll stick around.

All I have left in me
are words that have been
pouring out of my wounds
like blood.

A little reminder.
A punch in the gut.
A sting in the heart.
A taste in the mouth.

The smell of iron.
Scarlett stains
on my new lace underwear
that were stolen to
cover up the truth.

Blood shot eyes
with bags hanging so
gracefully underneath.

Tired from sleep
and trying not to cry
tears that show
that bright red blood.

If you look at my house from the outside, it is pink
with nice big windows
and a nice big tree out in front.

But the foundation is slightly off,
there are cracks in the walls.
If you look close enough
you can see it under all of that
pretty grey paint.

The living rooms are open
with the kitchen connecting.
So open that every sound and
every movement echoes.
Sometimes I can't tell if my mom
is yelling or not.

Most of the stuff from my room is
packed away into boxes like the memories
that came along with them.
But if you look close enough
you can see

The time you slept over and
the time we made a fort.
The first time we made love
and the first time you broke my heart.

No matter how many times
I change my sheets
I paint my walls
I rearrange my furniture
it's still there like the
broken foundation under my house.

A year ago I went on my first date with someone new.
It started late
and ended with the cops knocking on the car window.
We were caught naked and ashamed.

Weeks later
I was back to my old habits, former lover
but this time the cops weren't there to
break it up.

Sometimes I think it was a sign.
Or maybe I had enough to be
ashamed of.

I took a tab of acid once hoping I would see the world.
I live in a ******* dream.
It woke me up, and I saw reality.
It was a nightmare.
A slap in the face, really.

You were a monster
I was fighting and fighting
I thought I was dying
I thought I did it to myself.

I keep thinking if I leave
Maybe I have a chance of happiness
as if
starting over will solve my problems
but what if it doesn’t?

Iced in for three days straight
and you are my solution
you are my salvation
if I keep telling myself
it’s because I’m bored
maybe it will turn into the truth.

When it comes down to it
I was alone
in the waiting room
in the dark room
in the post procedure room
alone
and that’s how I’ll get over this.