If toys could speak,
I think they'd cry,
when left in the  basement,
to wither and die.

No longer needed,
not exciting,
not new,

that's why I feel like a toy,
whenever I think of you.

I once wrote that I liked your posessions left at my house,
because it reassured me that you're coming back.

It's only now that i realize,

with your clothes still at my house,
but also the knowledge that you are not coming back,

That though i can hold onto you materially,
it means nothing more than that
alone.

You are slowly eating my kindness,
putting a gun in the hand of my mind.

wielding the weapon of woo,
I dance ignorance

I bat my eyelashes,
say "no"

I am crumbling beneath "you look so pretty"

I am building up an altar made of ash

I am flirting in a way you hadn't thought of

I am fooling you,
I am fooling all of you.

I sit behind my green velvet curtain,
microphone to my beating lips,

I laugh

Eyes glued to an LCD screen

"Oh my god!"
You say,

"What a tragedy!"

*******,

Because the only tragedy here,
Is those clumsy, arrogant words
Toppling,
Like vomited dollar coins,
Out of your face.

Your knees must be bruised,
Black and blue,

For your falling on them in front of your god,
Loud and holy.

I respect your insistence,
Your wanting to save us.

But there's nobody here to save,
You're standing in an empty room.

Scoffing at the idea of being coveted,
Something to digest,
as if i could
heal
you.

Yet I write,
"Medicine"
across my chest.

am I to expect
anything
less?

And for every moment I exist,

I will NOT-exist for an exponentially greater number of moments

So why don't you bleed on my bed?
Stain my sheets with your life.

I'll see you on the other side.

Bring the fire.
I'll put it out alone.

What is the half-life of love,
The rate of decay marked on my desire?
Surely there's an expiration date,
On the shrink-wrapped package of this fire.

Or venture, I,
Into the "never ends"?
Say,
"my love lasts as long
As a straight line extends"?

Is there a danger in being thusly naive?
Light Skin wrapped in dark,
Tomorrow on my sleeve?

The curved mark of inquiry daunts me, somehow.
Pulls me into the future,
When I should be here, now.

Sleeping alone,
Should be easy.

Lay your head down,
Close your eyes,
Sink.

Sleeping alone should be easy.
Sleeping alone should be easy.

I revel in my love's pheromones
Upon waking I crane my neck
To greet his lips

You are something warm
When it's cold outside

Legs like spaghetti
A stubborn knot
None could untangle

"I know not what the future holds"
But until the future comes
I will hold you

The scent of you sticks to sheets
Long after you've gone

Long, long, long

My nose ,
A bloodhound
Out to find the pieces of you
Trapped between the stitching

Maybe your love remains there
Weighing down the cotton
with longing

Long, long, long

Maybe your *** remains there
Maybe I can taste it

The smooth surface of your lips

Reiterating mine

Searching for mine

Words escape me

But isn't that the point?

Drink until there is nothing inside

Until everything is out that you wanted to hide

All Those I had stained
Came to bleed on me
And bathe me in ointment
My hipocrisy

"You're so ******* great,
You're a radio star,
But under that we
All know what you are"

I danced my defense
I watered the floor
All painting me evil,
I ran out the door

Escape was futile
So I just gave in
In the game of "hurt-no-one"
There's no way you can win

I heard the devil today,
He said "la la la",
Demonic distortion

My toes tethered to the turf,
To the sound


Today I saw a woman
and her daughter
Next to a stream,
where the younger played


Today I heard a rooster,
Fear forcing him to scream,
In defense of his territory


He's a fool .

You own nothing,
Then you die.

I wrote two poems
Kept steady my hand
On a lined sheet of paper
And tucked it away

they are gone now
The paper escaped
And regarding the matter
I've no more to say