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A blindness covers me like a blanket.
The sights, sounds and smells that
once brought such joy and reassurance,
are haunting now.
The perfume, the hair, the pillow.
A light breeze, a quaint look.
You still put a smile on my face,
but it’s different now, tainted perhaps.
Conversations and dreams of the future,
relegated to mere passing comment.
Poorly timed and unfairly executed.
The tracks which once brought us together,
and carried us apart, are longer now than ever.
I still see you at night with eyes pressed tightly shut,
but by the morning you’ve gone.
It’s hard waking up knowing what you’re missing.
The strongest yet most painful feeling,
fades with the fields and blue skies.
Forgetting the most beautiful sunrise you have ever seen,
Is humoured by a tiring cliché.
But I’ve never been a fisherman.
I can't say just how long it's been
Since I pinched down one nostril and sniffed that stuff in
Gave myself over to the sugar of sin
Then repeated the other side so my head would spin

Maybe it's been a year and a half
But I'm starting to shake with the force of my laugh
And I can't control the twitching of my calf
It's like the boss on my neck is missing staff

The lights are much brighter and the sounds smell great
It was like this the first time in 2008
Someone'll bring ***** but I just can't wait
Now I'm off to find coke, tonight, my only date
I gotta confession
You're my little obsession
(I say little cause the shrine's only one wall)
I just want to see you
And I want her to be you
But that's something that won't ever happen at all
It's not a tickle when I feel it
It's a slap in the face
Given only at that moment
Right when you think it's safe
Hard headed emotion
Brings a tear to my eye
Selfish and tormented
The truth turns to a lie

How far would I have to be
To consider myself runaway?
Sick of feeling resented
Walking on egg shells everyday
Whether I can't or won't
It's the do or don't
Give it a moment
And it might just disappear..
It's the fight from fear.

Holding me here
Darkness comforts me
No harm can come here
If its not there to see
**** my brain dry
And give me relief
It's the battlefield I've dread
Beyond all belief

Sweet but sadistic
It's makes me remain
Sour but soothing
I'm real when I feel pain
I'm real when I feel pain
When I feel pain I'm real
And you with, how I must deal.
You can stand there with your pride, but don't deny your pain
Take my heart with you, its to broken to operate the same

You can't forsake me, I consistently gave you my all
You fought and kept a grudge, but still I broke your fall

Your memories broke out in a silent weep, but I heard you loud and clear
I know you too **** well, so much so you'd cohere

Now lets take a moment, lets reflect on the past
You made broken promises, some you even recast

I breathed in your lies, and coughed out my soul
I guess it was too late, when I realised it was your goal

If I had one wish, I wouldnt change a thing
I know my worth now, and I am worth bragging

Dont tell me that you love me now, your love is way too late
I ate it up and spat it out, what you lost, you can locate

I'll no longer be your puppet, I cut off all our ties
I wont say hi again, since we've said our goodbyes

Re conciliation is not an option, I've told you once before
Its over, no more turning back once you've walked out that door

The weight on my shoulders lifted, and it is my vow
To shift it onto yours, do you feel baneful now?

So, lets look to the future, my path seems so wide
I'll find my way with life, the way the moon goes with the tide.

I hope you learnt your lesson, now that your old and worn
Never, not ever.. mess with a woman scorned
You think you know what love is?
Well I ask you to think again
You have yet to feel my force
I have yet to cure your bane
You may assume my emotions
and I may envisage yours
we have only started our journey
we still have to open many doors
I'll tell you something for nothing
You've never felt a love like mine
I will be your gallant
your planets I will align
I can understand you
give you my regard
make you feel like you're floating
till you assume you are unscarred
You already have all of me
My heart, body and soul
Till now you have been seeing love
through a tiny peephole
I can show you the true meaning
Bring you happiness beyond compare
I will make you perceive revelry
with a touch of my flair
Last but not at all least
You are deserving of my inclination
Together we can prosper
and rule our own kind of nation
Lets be happy
I dare say its overdue
Remember we are the lucky ones
we don't have to 'make-do'
We are real
our love is staunch
all thats left to do
is let it launch...
4th of August 2009
Could I relive the moment I first saw you
Can I have that first kiss again
Is it possible that this sorrow will disappear
Can I be wrapped in your body that is my playpen
Will the day come
can it come real soon
Because I'm getting real tired
of this same old tune
What once was my everything
is now even more
I want whats good for me
I've never been so sure
I will do anything
I can beg, I can plead
and I will crawl
until I bleed
All I want is my destination
and that is what I will get
Through hell I will travel
Because you are heaven sent
Kinda risky writing now
when my feelings are so ripe
not that I'd make any sense
but sense has too much hype

If I say I am over it
dont believe my lie
living it day by day
is how I get by

I know I shouldn't
but I stare at the door
thinking of everything
but what am I waiting for?

Not that you will walk through
not that I will see your face
or get to live in that moment
where I'm at my happy place

The whole world moves
yet I'm still standing still
hanging onto the edge
hoping for a thrill

I say I'm somber
hoping you'd buy my tale
It sounds better than
the truth I wanted to exhale

But I'm over it
I'm so sad
I'm letting it out
and I feel glad
Because you dont know the extent
to what I'm feeling these days
how do I love thee?
oh, there are many ways

...there are many ways...
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