Last night I stood staring at the lake
Watching the light bounce off your face
You, distracted by the wonders that lay around the curve of the earth
Me, realizing that this moment really can't be fully describes through words
No photo we took would ever show the true sparkle of the little waves
It was like we were the audience and the view was the stage
We watched quietly as the world loudly amazed
And in that moment
I was calm and safe
It was a feeling that from me nobody could ever take
And we stood there together watching the lake

It's like muscle memory,
Like a boomerang the feeling always comes back
I didn't know I was capable of loving like that
Well maybe I did but I didn't realize until now
But I just feel safer when your around
You complete the puzzle even though your edges are rough
I know you're a big softy even though you pretend you're tough
And no matter how angry I am at the end of the day
The feeling, like a boomerang comes back again

I wrapped my hand around your bruised fist
Covering the the rough scrapes with my soft fingers
Pulling you closer as I leaned up against the tree at our favourite spot
But still keeping you at a distance
Wanting to forgive you right away
But knowing that what happened wasn't ok
That the tension between us wasn't going to magically go away
But I pull you closer
Against my better judgment
You say your sorry
You kiss me
And you are forgiven

Sometimes I just sit in my room on the floor
Leaning up against my bedroom door
Waiting for you to knock
Or even better
Push it open and come in

I didn't know that I loved you
Until I realized you stopped loving me
I pushed and I pushed until you went away
Then I realized that's not how I want it to be
Now when I see you
My heart stops, restarts
Then skips a beat
But now I finally realize
I always loved you
Just not the same way you loved me

My giant home
With the stair case,
A mountain,
One I learned to conquer over the days
The couches,
Bouncy clouds for me to play
My big comfy, warm and fancy big girl bed
Where wild dreams raced through my head
The backyard a jungle for me to explore
The pile of picture books on the bedroom floor
The handles,
Some too high to reach
In this house
I learned the lessons my parents would teach
Now the stair case is a trip down memory lane
A path to and from where I once came
The couches now know my shape
My bed now a place that hides my secrets and keeps me safe
The yard, a reminder
Of all the adventures and excitement we had
My books passed down to my siblings by mom and dad
The handles for the doors feel small in my fully grown hands
There is a drawer filled with CD's from all my favourite bands
Long lectures at the table can't teach me lessons the way they did before
Making me promise to behave because sitting and listening made me so bored
And suddenly my giant home isn't so giant anymore.