I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

Danny O'Dare, the dancin' bear,
Ran away from the County Fair,
Ran right up to my back stair
And thought he'd do some dancin' there.
He started jumpin' and skippin' and kickin',
He did a dance called the Funky Chicken,
He did the Polka, he did the Twist,
He bent himself into a pretzel like this.
He did the Dog and the Jitterbug,
He did the **** and the Bunny Hug.
He did the Waltz and the Boogaloo,
He did the Hokey-Pokey too.
He did the Bop and the Mashed Potata,
He did the Split and the See Ya Later.
And now he's down upon one knee,
Bowin' oh so charmingly,
And winkin' and smilin'--it's easy to see
Danny O'Dare wants to dance with me.

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Night and day, go or stay?
seems another week has passed
A shot, a drink, a needle in her veins
seems another month she lasts

Never ceasing, to try her best
everything stays the same
The shot, the drink, the pain of love itself
outweighs the amount of time her little heart had sustained

Her son, the picture of the key
unlocking the door to her soul
The small hand that holds her back, while she travels down the dead end road
still she holds, still she keeps, still she tries, for me.

I didn't realize I loved you.
Not when you saved my life
Or when you drove me to hospital and stayed up with me all night
Or when you grabbed my hand because you saw my pain
When you knew I had troubles and helped me change

You were my family at all those soccer games
You always came and screamed my name.
I didn't realize I loved you, though you knew my whole life.
The only friend who looked at me with pride.
The only person in the world who'd seen me cry.

I didn't realize I loved you, no not at all.
Until that night, in the kitchen, alone with you last fall.
Watched you laugh at my stories, the ones you'd heard before.
Saw those eyes of yours that marveled and never seemed bored.
Heard you hum the same song you did every day and smirk when you saw me looking your way.

And when you burnt your fingers on the stove and put them to your lips to cool.
Never, have I envied anything more than those fingers, in that moment with you.
And you didn't pull away when I took them in my hands, and kissed each one.
Felt your heartbeat as I whispered in your ear, both us of coming undone.
I didn't realize I loved you but I knew it then, In that moment,
My skin on your skin, Whispers of love filling the room again and again...

it is the nature of dogs to sleep
it is the nature of rocks to crumble
it is the nature of the sky to be blue
it is the nature of the day to be long
it is the nature of the car to break down
it is the nature of the tree to grow upwards
it is the nature of hands to seek hands
it is the nature of birds to sing songs
it is the nature of hearts to beat
it is the nature of rivers to flow
it is the nature of roads to go onwards
it is the nature of suns to beat brows
it is the nature of worms to burrow
it is the nature of tops to turn
it is the nature of grass to be dew-covered
it is the nature of the earth to be hard
it is the nature of the siren to blare
it is the nature of the eyes to roam
it is the nature of the shelf to hold
it is the nature of hammer to build
it is the nature of a river to roar
it is the nature of a voice to whisper
it is the nature of the book to yellow
it is the nature of paper to burn
it is the nature of the blanket to warm
it is the nature of the arms to comfort
it is the nature of the family to challenge
it is the nature of the breakfast to fill
it is the nature of nations to bicker
it is the nature of floors to creak
it is the nature of gods to laugh
it is the nature of man to laugh too
it is the nature of the mind to wonder
it is the nature of the body to fear
it is the nature of life to consume
it is the nature of all else to oppose
us

there’s a heart
grown heavy
laying in bed
trying to wake
up

453 times he’s said
to himself
“wake up”
but it’s only putting
him back to sleep,
a hypnosis
untended
or fate that cannot
be escaped?

wake up he says for
the 454th time
but his eyes stay shut
and he can hear birds
chirping their bird songs
outside of his
window

he can feel the weight
of his existence:
each social expectation,
each biological demand,
just another pound on
his shoulders
but
he’s been down
on the ground for a while
now

the heavy heart
prays to be
emptied

wake up, he says,
and counts 455
wake up, he says,
and counts 456
wake up he says
and counts 457
wake up, he says,
and counts 458
wake up, he says,
and goes back to
sleep