Through thick and thin, through loss and sin
You held my hand and encouraged me to look within
You're the one that knows me as I've always been
You've kept me together throughout every weather, acting as my safety pin

We've had out ups and definitely our downs
Needed more than books as pick me ups to turn around our frowns

When I pilled high molehills into mountains
You helped me knock them down to size again

You're the smile behind this ongoing uphill mile
You're the laugh that revives my hang on for a while
You're the encouraging words behind every verse
You're my compass for every course.

You are most importantly my mom
Who is approaching an age where the years are not as long
You're turning an unspeakable age
Finishing an ancient chapter, turning a desolate page

There is one last thing to say
An obvious, over used cliche,
So here, without anymore delay, is your...

Happy Birthday

Slimy sea feet.
Sandy salt tongues.
Gabby gulls and cautious *****.
Boardwalk smiles and sticky ice cream fingers.
Ripened hearts and eager tide eyes.
Tears in my ears from the satisfied sun seeking silence.

This is where I belong.
This is where I know God.

I don’t belong in a town that can offer me nothing.
I don’t belong in a massive city that’ll swallow me up.
I don’t belong at silly soirees or late night parties.
I don’t belong at the top tier or down with the underdogs.

I belong on the shores.
I belong arm in arm with my confidantes, walking through downtown streets of some sweet town.
I belong hand in hand with my true companion with our toes in the sand.
I belong sipping soda with my sisters giggling endlessly as we watch some cheesy chick flick.
I belong hugging my mama who I will never stop loving for an instant.
I belong sitting with my father drinking tea in the purest, sweetest silence, for that is how we were made to be.

I belong listening to my dad’s tall tales and my mothers soothing words.
I belong holding my stomach with my face streaked with tear drops from some joke that is only funny if you were there.
I belong forever in the future with that one, the one whom was made for me; the Tilney to my Catherine.
I belong holding the gazes of my friends as we try to hold back our cackles, tears, and even our own words.

I belong in the waves of the sea.
I only belong in the happiest of salty tears.

I can’t belong where I’m too afraid to face my fears.
I won’t belong in broken gears.
I’ll not for a moment belong in heartbroken wares.  

I’ve never belonged in them, but they live inside me.
They have and always will be
My demons and my skeletons
Yet you will always see them on my sleeves
So everyone can see they do not devour me.

You remind me of summer rays
Fall's forever changing shades
Winter's great gloomy days
Spring time's growing emerald blades

You remind me of warm sunny rain
Golden glowing wheat plains
Infinite ivory glossy glades
Begonias rising from breezy serenades

You are to me as sweet as iced tea
As moody as the salty sea
As far way as the eye can see
As wise as an ancient willow tree
As nosey as a buzzing bee
As trouble free as middle C

You are as kind as your eyes
And as reliable as the sunrise

You are nothing and everything I could think to ask for
Yet you are so much more.

Come. Come into my arms again.

Don’t let me be alone with myself.

The whispers are all I hear in the silence

Screaming truth through my blinded eyes.

No! Stop! Let my own reality deceive me.

Take me back to “your making mountains out of mole hills”.

Rewind to the time where all I knew was laughter.

Take me away to where only the little things mattered.

The place where a smile could set you free and you could be

anything you, anyone you wanted to be.

The times when Daddy’s shoulders felt like the top of the world.

I need to go back to being just a little girl.

You know my faded legacies.
You know my long forgotten glories.
You know all my tall tales and never ending stories.
You know me and the air I breath
The I's from which eye see.
The warm heart from which I bleed.

But you see only the image I let you see.
You can't see that the air is choking me.
That my stories lack a silver lining.
You've forgotten that my eyes are no longer shining.

You don't know that this heart is the reason that I'm always denying.
You recognize my voice but you don't hear the words I'm saying.
You won't hear the words I'm praying, the words that keep me lying.

You see my smile but not how broken it's become.
You'll never see the seems threatening to come undone.

I'm bursting, bursting with secrets,
Secrets screaming my truths with all the proof of my weakness.
I'm pilled high with tears I refuse to cry,
All I've ever done is turn a blind eye.