sit in class
watch the clock tick
as the moments pass me by
all i want to do is disappear
into a void where i no longer have to feel

sit at home
watch the closed door
as the shouts echo just outside
all i want to do is disappear
into a void where i no longer have to feel

sit in hell
watch the flames burn
as my sanity hangs on a thin thread
all i want to do is disappear
into a void where i no longer have to feel

sit in life
watch everything go wrong
as my fingers reach out for the blade
all i want to do is disappear
into a void where i no longer have to feel

all i want to do is disappear
is that too much to ask?

when i play your song
my skin breaks
and my blood runs out

metal strings,
with rust-colored stains
the guitar that is my heart

and for every quavering note,
for every hollow echo
for every tear that mixes with my blood

i am alive.

when they're gone
look for me.
when you've got nothing left to hold on to
lean on me.
when there's nothing left in your heart
but sorrow and ache and loneliness
find me.
when you realize what pain is
talk to me.

but until then
when your life is perfect
and you cannot fathom why i feel
the way i do
and why i lie
the way i do
and why i cry
the way i do

i will love you from a distance

because it is hard to understand something
you yourself do not know.

i think
at the end of the day
when the shadows are lengthening
and a cold wind is blowing
it all comes down to this:

i am completely alone.

there's no sound except my echo,
not a soul besides my shadow.

i am alone.

and as trying as it may be
it also tells me that i am strong.

i am a wanderer,
i walk life's roads alone,
i depend on no one but myself,
what good can empty promises do for me,
anyway?

i am a wanderer,
i walk life's roads alone.
and neither man nor spirit
can ever again hit me so hard
that i fall to my knees.

i am a wanderer,
i walk life's roads alone,
and i am proud of how far i've come
and how much i've learnt
in the bitter years gone by.

i am a wanderer,
i walk life's roads alone
and i will stand strong
against the beating of the wind and the rain.

i don't understand
how you can put me back together
and tear me apart again
in just one day

i don't know why
you give me hope
you make me smile
if you're just going to take it all away

you make me laugh
and you make me cry

and i wonder if you're worth it at all sometimes.

pain killer after pain killer.

oh baby girl, you know better than that.

pain killer after pain killer.

*oh baby girl, you know the sadness never dies out.