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Noelle Matthews Nov 2021
one night i dreamt of a being.
a being who loved me through doubt,
a being who looked like you, your soul,
a being who loved me the way you did,
a being who knew me.

knew my worst fears,
knew my biggest loves,
knew my brain better than i could ever,
knew my faults and my success,
a being who knew me like you used to.

could it have been you?
with a new face, new eyes, new body?
one my brain gave to you from scratch,
to hold the version of you i remember?
Noelle Matthews Oct 2021
hey lover

i was happy with you, i know it
our matching rings left green circles
but meant devotion all the same

maybe the story of us wasn't ever going to last,
maybe this was always doomed,
maybe hurt was the only natural ending

this isn't goodbye, because your obsidian eyes
show up in my mind with the turn of your lips,
the freckles on the column of your throat, the
memory of your hand on the small of my back

this isn't goodbye, because i know i will see you again.
every time my eyelids meet, i wait for peace to flood through
with our memories and the way we loved despite it all,
the sunlight you brought into my dreary days

they will craft poetry from our pain
create something beautiful out of the destruction.
our memories, cemented in the minds of those like us
those who may be just as ill-fated
those who beg the universe for one more second.

hey lover, i was happy with you. i know it.
Noelle Matthews Apr 2021
we know not what love truly is
we see love on valentines cards
rom-coms and romance novels
but that is not all that true love is,
because what happens
to the lovers after the last page?
after the credits roll? when the card is shut?
love is messy. love is hard, love struggles.
what we do know about love is this:
love is beauty, love is determination.
love is a roller coaster of good and bad
and we are both the operators
and along for the ride
all at once.
Noelle Matthews Apr 2021
i am in love with the wind
she does not know my name
i feel her drifting past me on warm spring mornings
cooling the air until i can breathe easier
i roll my windows down and feel her in my hair
as if i had grown wings and learned to fly
does the wind have a name? she is astounding and radiant
sometimes i imagine her watching me over my shoulder. i smile
the wind will live forever, though i will not. will she miss me?
i can't be the only poor girl who has fallen, can i? will she notice?
i push those thoughts aside, deciding to speak up for the being i want
she will know my name if it's the last thing life allows me
maybe we aren't meant to be, maybe we are
all i know is that i am in love with the wind

i am in love with a girl
she thinks i do not know her name; i know more than she can imagine
i follow her where she walks in spring, observing
her breath is forced, but i can ease her struggle
many girls dream of flying above the tallest skyscraper
but her, oh, when she dreams it i am up at once, whipping by her
i have no name, but the things she calls me bring color to our faces
i keep watch, protecting her from the world and the world from her
she is melancholic often now. i think i know the future she pictures
she thinks i will not notice her absence,
that i have not grown to need her in our time together
she has begun speaking to me, and my heart swells with her devotion
if only i could respond in ways she understood,
tell her i know her better than i know parts of myself
we are meant to be, i know it. even if we are never together i will
know all that we could've been as one
all i know for sure is that i am in love with a girl
Noelle Matthews Mar 2021
to my soulmate, if you’re out there
i have waited a long time for you
it will be longer, but i am patient
my life will be spent searching
for the possibility of you
in every bookstore
every phone booth
and every train station
you might not exist in the way I expect
but I think I see parts of you
in the woman handing out flowers
the child I make silly faces to on the bus
the person playing their cello on the corner
i will be patient as long as it takes
because you are worth the wait
Noelle Matthews Mar 2021
stargazing
with you
makes me feel
almost as bright
as the moon
on the inside
and i crave it
i crave you next to me
a perfect night
just for us
Noelle Matthews Mar 2021
you & i
burn hot
we burn quickly at first
but even when you think
we’ll burn out
we slow,
and we burn steady
the heat remains
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