You promised me.
The day you saw me crying, you promised.
you said you would never leave me.
I'd never feel that way again, you said.
And the funny thing is that I believed you.
I listened when you said that.
I prayed to god that you meant it.

but then things got bad.
I started crying more and you didn't know what to do.
but for awhile you stuck around.
telling me everything would be okay.
I still believed you.
I believed it through it all.
when you stopped talking to me, I still believed it.
When the texts stopped, I believed it.
I kept on beliving it.
I believed it up until the day I was crying and you didn't come running.

you left me alone to cry and that's when I knew you were just like everyone else.

I push people away.
perhaps it's because I don't want them to know the secrets I hide
maybe it's because I'm afraid once they know my secrets they'll think of me different
or it might be because I want people to think I'm stronger than I really am
Whatever the reason it makes me lonely
leaves me pathetically wishing on a star or when the clock reads 11:11

wishing you could tell me you know I'm not okay when I smile through the tears
as we tilt back our heads and take another drink
I think maybe one day I'll tell you
but I know when I'm sober that will be just a distant memory
and you will become another thing I have pushed away

I'd like to say that I didn't see it coming
that it was a shock to me
to everyone
but it wasn't, all the signs were there
Maybe I turned a blind eye hoping I was wrong
Or maybe I thought you were kidding
but either way I wish it wasn't true
I could've been there to help you
to be there when you needed someone the most
now I'll never know

I never noticed them.
Not at first anyway.
It wasn't until everything stopped.
You stopped trying and I had given up.
I'm not going to lie though, there are days I miss you.  I miss you texting me everyday and asking me how my day went.
So when I miss you and we don't talk anymore I'm stuck with what we used to have and what we used to be.

The old messages. The days when I thought you cared.

And it's not until I had a clear mind I noticed. you broke down my confidence and happiness.

you told me I was fat.
you constantly made me feel bad about my school & grades.
you picked on my insecurities.  
you knew everything thing and it made that much easier on you.

tip: don't read old messages.

It was another day, minutes, seconds, and hours passing.
Another day of being alone.
Another day of complete silence.
but then i remember how things used to be.
Everyday I could count on you. count on you to listen to me, to understand me. To talk for hours without giving uo on me. I counted on you to be with me.
But then you stopped.
kind of ****** up isn't it, you used to be my world.
You didn't bother to check on me, to ask me how my day was.  And that was that. No more quick texts. No more all day chats.
No more us.
No more me.
It used to be us, and now I'm all alone.