I distinctly remember a night earlier

this year when I felt like the world was ending.

It wasn't dying climactically or violently,

but peacefully like passing in a deep sleep.

I remember becoming aware 
of my heart beat, shuddering

like a rifled elephant.  Feelings I've

reburied countless times were surfacing

like whales from a depthless sea.  
The ceiling fan slowed,

the air conditioning hummed, a fly trapped

in the window screen beat itself against the mesh.

So ordinary, but so heavy.  

There comes a point when surrendering to life

seems like an intelligent decision.  

It's a tragedy, really...

*a tragedy...