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Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Inspired by Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

im smiling at your smile
and in your laugh
i hear inside jokes that last a while
the electricity in your lips
feels like slow summers
watching the sun set
and long winters
smiling at new snow
from inside a warm house
that you convince me to leave
so i can go out and freeze
but i see your rosy nose
and huge grin
and it's all worth it

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

your scent
makes everything make sense
night lights
brighten your smile
when we go out to dinner
and you walk slow past me
trailing your finger across my belly
your warmth takes me to when we have the AC
too high
and i wake up cold
until i groggily pull you close
and fall back to sleep smiling

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

the way you move
i see you
dancing to no music
in our living room
it's either foolishness
or hypnotic poetry
sometimes a combination
of the two

i see us
dancing in the rain
kissing under thunder
and laughing with the flashing lightening
two flushed faces
breathless and beaming
wind making your hair crazy
and freezing our bones
until we grab each other
and remember
we'll never be alone

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
i would say
don't look at me
my insides are too ugly
but you'll look anyways
and find out for yourself
so instead of
cutting you off from myself
i will give you too much
inundated with information
i will leave you
engorged on who i am
and if you enjoy
the taste of my being
i know that i
will truly enjoy yours
but you won't get the morsels
of meat that lay deep within me
not unless
im sure you're the best
and even then
perhaps not
im well protected
not behind walls
of unyielding stone
but behind an always moving
horde of skilled horsemen
they are my sword
that i attack
and defend with
and they will not part
until all doubt is gone
whoever they split for
like the red sea
will be saluted
by them and by me
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
her eyes whisper
"step closer"
lips tease
this Mr. Freeze
with barely a graze
leavin the lion in a daze
as the gazelle
walks away
knowing well
her smell
and gait
and the subtle look
has her man on the hook
and salivatin
in anticipation
for the meal at hand
he holds her hand
and whips her around
grabs her close
her smile is wide
and intoxicating
windows to the soul
send sensual vibes
to his very core
she kisses him
his body tenses and relaxes
all at once
i couldn't get this high
wit a thousand blunts
thunder in my ears
lightning in my skin
and fire in my being
i blink
and all of a sudden
the nymph
is like a glimpse
and barely there
i still smell sweetness
and feel soft hair
i walk a little further
she's there and looking back
with the most mischievous
display of teeth
and twinkle in her eye
i smile and give a sigh
tonight she simply baits her catch
another night perhaps.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Inspired by Time by Hans Zimmer

slogging through the snow
weighed under
the weight of all i know
baggage on my back
in desperate need
of anything but facts
and there she stands
the wind whistling through her hair
and the fingers of her outstretched hands
her face is flushed
but her legs are pale
i must
work harder
work faster
she'll catch cold
in that billowing
pink sundress
unless i run fast
and grab her fully
in my strong embrace
and kiss her sweetly
spreading my warmth
to her numb face
but these bags
won't let me act
or else not fast enough
she collapses
landing rough
on her delicate knees
i can tell
that she needs me
so i cast aside
all on my back
the suitcases
the backpacks
and dufflebags
pounds and pounds
leave my shoulders
and drop
to the white ground
with a quiet, crunchy thump
her face is falling
im growing frantic
taking off everything and anything
that might slow me down
it seems as though the snow is getting deeper
the closer i get to her
she's still falling
as if in slow motion
long curly hair
swirling behind her
like one million crescent moons
im leaping snow drifts now
but i will get to her soon
her face slaps
the ground
and the cry of one billion snowflakes
echos magnified in my ear
i reach her
and turn her over
and see a face
blue and quiet
with frozen tears
stopped halfway down her cheek
and suddenly
mine are flowing free
if only...
if only i had dropped everything sooner
i thought
as this living man
cradled someone
who was not
Antony Padilla Oct 2012
My soul is eaten whole
Consumed
But the tail is still sticking out.
Shall i perhaps
Induce regurgitation?

No.

I'm almost eaten.
Chew on me
And gulp me down.
Do not hesitate.
I seek to be a part of you
And it's soon to be.
Very soon.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Never forget,
But move on.
Don't harbor anger,
But remember what made you angry.
Dwell on smiles
But don't repress the smell of fire
And burned flesh.
Antony Padilla May 2013
Strange revelations crawl all over my body like worms out of the mud after fresh rain.
But who are you to rain on my parade,
Killing my delusions?
You shatter my illusion, breaking my glass house that you can see right through.
It offers little protection,
But then few houses do.
Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
I'll think myself into a grave filled with cold, damp, and rot.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Distance is a poison slowly killing me.
Everyday I dip my tongue
In the antidote of your voice.
It keeps me ahead of death,
if just barely.
Only you,
In all your fullness and glory,
Can truly breathe new life into me.
Come to me soon my dearest panacea.
May our time apart fly by like the quickest wind,
forgotten after passing.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Dear Lord,
Don't allow me to forget myself.
I feel as if I'm already a memory in the back of my head.
Like an unknown relative that died when I was young.
I'm forgetting my face and it's being replaced with a blank slate.
And the world's an artist of poor taste Lord.
Crass and ****** and yet so magnetic.
Pull me away, because everyday I stay,
I feel more lazy.
Dear God,
Don't let me forget who I am,
Or Who made me.

Amen.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
Kaleidoscope lights lead me in to obscurity.
With the gift of double vision,
I see twice as less.
Blinded by the brightness.
Made sightless
By a God that shares my likeness.
I'm split between two lives
Mine and His
And the Sun seems too
Too much
And now the Mirror Faced Man in the Sky
Won't tell me why
He just looks at me
And then back to The Good Book
He's speaking to me I'm sure
I'm just not sure which voice is real
Which voice is ethereal
Which voice is evil
And which is me
Because I'm partially unreal
Blurry in the world
One foot outside in the light
One foot inside a church
With the lights turned off
Where we worship each other
And we're all praying to lovers
But I might need some fresh air
Hope I can stay out in nature
Without giving into the natural order
It's worth a try
Because even if it's only half right
It's better than the all wrong
I've been living all along

Inspired by Bad Religion by Frank Ocean
Antony Padilla Oct 2012
Come in fresh with the smell of new rain
That brightens your shine and your immaculate design
man made
The perfect woman without mistakes
You don't hide your artificial parts
No shame
Or anything to be ashamed of
Pristine
Soft white
That blends with the ambient light of my room
It compliments the straight lines of your firm jaw and Model-esque shoulders
And accentuates the curves of your customized parts
A neck that melts flawlessly into a collar bone
******* that swell and dip into a porcelain belly
Calves that ***** gracefully into delicate ankles
Round heels that walk into playful arches that dance away
From the ground
Lines and curves
Mixed perfectly
Coalesced effortlessly
Into the perfect union
Of man and machine
The result of nature and mechanics
Equally lovely

Nervous
Large, innocent green eyes
Scan my wooden floors
My exotic art
My photographs
And all my accolades
Posted on the wall
But you won't look at me at all

"Look at me."
A long blink
As if you think the extra seconds will help prepare you
But once I have your eyes
I don't let go
Locked
Looking deep into your soul
Or whatever you have that's so **** similar
And you know I understand
And you know I understand
And everything else
Goes exactly to plan
Antony Padilla May 2013
Hills and valleys,
Beer and vanilla beans.
Every peak is followed by a dip,
And the downward slips
Tend to sneak up on you
Every sip is sweet
Until it's harmful
Up and down
So it's no point in thinkin of the future now
Cuz joy turns to sorrow
Just as surely as today melts to tommorow
But that same heavy gravity
Will lighten to bright levity
Soon and sooner
Like Moon the Lunar
Makes way for Sun the Shiner
But never disappears
Just goes away long enough
For the day to hide Her
My point is to never hold to tightly to
Happiness or sorrow
Because both are momentary
As fleeting as they are hollow
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
A soul diminished leaves a walking husk; empty, incapable and destined to implode. The vastness of desolation collapses the mind and stifles creativity. But even in these wet, moldy, slippery caves of dripping wax and faded light there is some hope. Even in these large empty sanctuaries of despair that are the psyche of the soulless: there lies a beam of pure light shining through a gap in the sorrow. Hold on to that light. Because beauty is everywhere, even in darkness. It just depends how good your eyes are.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
i saw her and she cleared my sinuses
and my mouth went dry
when she walked up to me
and slipped her killer thighs next to mine
and whispered softly in my ear
heavy
fresh
breath
i smell her winterfresh
Bold.
i feel it tickle my neck
and linger under my lobe
her message wasn't that long
but she stretched it out
like she's stretchin all over me
deep in my
personal space
but i find that i really,
really,
(really)
don't mind
she fits me
like a puzzle piece
makes me feel relaxed
almost sleepy
but with senses more acute
im in a dreamlike state
like she's drugging me
and i suppose she is
high off thoughts of her unclothed promises
her lips stick together
and words drip slowly from them
and waver in the air
hesitant to leave
those two juicy
(those too juicy)
lipglossed lemon drops
of heaven
this girl is trouble-full
rather then troublesome
and oooooo
how i like it
she's the bad chick
who doesn't mind it
when you tell her so
and sort of likes it
when you choke her throat
if just a little
she's a force of nature
and my favorite kind
of riddle
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
MC Lyte was lightweight
The Queen Bee was unseemly
compared to
this woman who shared you
and all you went through
And Queen Latifah wasn't half the leader
spoken word speaker
singer
soul seeker
that Oo La La
was
that Fu Gee La
was
Missy Elliot
lost her 8 stars
when she lost weight
(that's when she lost bars)
Lauryn
Lauryn Hill will always
always
be ours
she might be modest
but she'll always be
my Hip Hop Goddess
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
It's cold.
I can't feel my fingers
Or my toes
For now
Just my extremities are frozen
But my frozen fingertips
And my frozen feet
Are telling me
Screaming to me
Fall is here!
I turn on the heat
Take off my clothes
And grab a towel
Leap in to the tub and
With the quick twist of two knobs
BLAST
Comes the water from the shower head
Spitting as hot as it can
Steam instantly leaps off of my body
And with it my feeling of chill
As my vision clouds
And the scalding drops
Bonce off my skin
Heat spreads to every inch of me
Tickling
As its small feet
Travel across my body
In the wake of its coming it brings
(as it always does)
Peace of mind
And creative thoughtfulness
Alternatively with each step
Each tingle
Is a piece of ice
Leaving me
In it's place replaced
With warmth
And comfort
Every second that passes is different
Quiet
Listen to the million droplets
Dive bombing the tile
No thoughts.
In the next second,
A crowd of reporters enter my head
Each louder than the last
Each trying to make themselves heard
"What does the future hold?"
"How will you get there?"
"What makes a man?"
"Are you smart enough?"
"Are you strong enough?"
"Do you care enough?"
"Are you ready for the world?"
"Is the world ready for you?"
"Are you anything really for it to be ready for at all?"
Some are answered
Most aren't
But all are heard
And then in the next second
The buzzing crowd leaves for a while
And is replaced by the sound of the shower head
SHHHHHH
Stop worrying
SHHHHHH
Stop thinking
SHHHHHH
Just stand and enjoy
This heated reprieve
From the cold outside
Antony Padilla Jan 2013
It can transcend the physical world.
It resonates and vibrates,
echoing between souls.
But it's more than chemistry,
it's alchemy.
A meshing of being,
the combination of two disparate elements
in creation of something new.
Something different that makes everything around it different as well.
A light in oppressive darkness
and a shade in harsh light.
We both know of it's existence,
we're not strangers to it's presence.
The very opposite,
we know it down to it's atomic makeup.
Like I know her,
like she knows me.
What every touch does,
what every look means.
We know the name of this thing,
like we know each other.
And yet we just stand and enjoy,
too breathless to name anything.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
with an eternal universe
to **** with
why do You choose me?
im powerless against You.
a worthless opponent.

with an entire Earth
to **** with
don't you have
someone more important
to lead down the winding path
of destruction?

You attack me
with holiness and piety,
burn me with Your light
and blind me with sight.

you attack me
with deception and guile
leading me to extremes
by the smallest of degrees.

You made me this way
yet expect me to live
in shame, guilt, and sadness
for who i am.
You claim i can have freedom
when i was created
with more than external chains
the bonds in my heart
have found that which is
sweet to me.
my heart has found
something to get close to
in Your absence
You're so far
and yet i thought
i had found a way
to You
through Your gift of blessing
but this gift was Yours
and You want it back.

you want me to waste my gift
you want me to burn it
and thrash it
and trash it in the mud
you want me to destroy it with sweet words
and break it with selfishness
you want me to treat with hate
that which i love the most
you want me to help you
and lead her by our stitched hearts
down the hot and sweaty road
to the lake of fire
to your soon-to-be abode.
i refuse.

You and you both seek to burn me.
one with fire and One with divinity.
Antony Padilla Oct 2012
I'm not sure what's true here...
And what's simply a nightmare.
I suppose life is like that,
When things don't seem right
And we can't rightly fight back.
Trapped in our situation,
Forever running from an invisible enemy.
Energy pent up in me.
Distract with action when there's sum lacking
It's a fact that I'm backing up.
Repressions to regressions
And my stress is on the come up.
When's this rotten life of mine
Supposed to come to fruition?
Fates keep kickin me in the nuts
While I'm standin here ******
Caught me wit my pants down
Before I could find an answer
In the swirling ***** of the oracle
I'll never know
So I'll stop looking for the future
In an empty snow globe
But the present's just as confusing
Life's the longest game I'll ever play
And I'm losing

im losing
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
And there's the moon
O romantic moon
You who used to
Whisper passion
In lovers' ears
In ages past
And helped cupid's
Honey dipped arrow
Eradicate sorrow
With his ultimate aim
One kiss beneath your pale face
And I was never the same
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
a drop of water
only has but so long
before gravity
splits it asunder
tugging one
from another
new drop
dripping into a splash
crashing with a plop
and it goes
over
and again
Antony Padilla May 2013
Up early

Thinkin bout my girly

N her nice curls

How she was made for me

Like God knew how much

I like curves

With thighs like Mya

So good I think I might die

Eyes so lovely

I think I know why

Cuz they lookin at me

Like I'm someone or

Somebody

Got me feelin fire

Now I'm tryna beat

Like karate

I'm deep in thought

Bout bein on top

Her tellin me

To keep goin instead of stop

Wrappin her hands round my neck

Kissin n bitin me

Lips n teeth send electricity

And tingles that lighten me

She wanted compliments

Well these are free

Complimentary

I glimpsed ya legs last night

When you were shining that light

They looked lovely to me

Just how I like

I love ya smile when I can make it widen

But it's ya lips that make me stiffen

Thoughts of them kissin n lickin

Every muscle on my body

While those sweet fingers

Tapered to perfection

Slowly stroke and pull the choke on my *******

Face me or face away

Just so long as you came to play
Antony Padilla Mar 2013
There's good advice on every side
So don't decide your life by what sounds wise.
Because truth rarely ever speaks for itself.
It would much rather be found,
Crowned in wealth.
Advice doesn't go by what's right,
But by what sells and sounds nice.
But reality isn't always pretty,
And truthfully the truth doesn't always set you free
It can trap you just as easily.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
I felt a tickling on my arm
And snuffed it out with a single finger
As I rolled it's dead body
Between my fingers
And flicked it into oblivion
I thought:
What is a life so easily ended?
And was abruptly reminded
Of my own mortality.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
all lives are
double lives
triple lives
and no one
is the same one
more then once a day
we all have more faces
then we know what to do with
which is why
people who say
"i can't act"
are liars
if accidentally so
from the second we enter the world
and realize we want something
we've been willing to act for it
a baby doesn't love it's mother
it loves her ***
but act long enough
and it all becomes real

so be careful how many faces you have
too many
can drive a man mad
when one day you look inside
and try to find yourself
yell loud
but truth is lost among the crowd
Antony Padilla Oct 2012
There stand the gates.

Massive and made of the highest quality oak. Ornate, covered with runes of a forgotten language.

In front of this gargantuan doorway stands its guard.

A black-faced lion with a rust colored mane, a man's body, full armor, and a long halberd.

The Gatekeeper

"No man enters these gates except through me," he says,

"You would be a fool to believe you'll walk through alive.

I will not simply **** you,

Once you attempt to pass this line."

he points at a faded gap in the grass in front of him.

"I will break you.

I will annihilate you.

I will devour your soul

Slowly."

He begins to pace back and forth while hungrily looking you up and down.

Despite his having the body of a man, he still looks very much more like a predator.

"I have no need of meat.

I will leave your body for the vultures!"

He gestures to the pile of bones off to the side of the intimidating gate.

Picked clean.

"Your mind and your,"

he inhales deeply as if he were trying to sniff out a savory dish,

"Spirit!

Are what interest me.

When I am finished with you,

You will be mine entirely!

I will enjoy every morsel of your being.

But my mouth grows weary of speaking."

He looks you in your eyes.

"It wishes to eat."

He unshoulders his halberd and takes up an offensive stance.

The long shaft ends in a finely sharpened point,

Unabashedly aimed in your direction.

"Will you feed me?"

He asks,

"Will you risk these teeth for a chance at these doors?"

You clench your jaw in determination,

And take a step forward.

He smiles.

His razor sharp, impossibly clean teeth shine in the sun.

"Excellent."

he licks his lips,

"I do love a good meal."
Antony Padilla Oct 2012
Inspired by: Toilet Tisha by OutKast

Spaced out

Brain out

In space

Checkin stardust

My timewaste is

Just a journey to the center of my soul

With the far reaches as my goal

And the cold wastes as my place of solace

Feelin soulless

Pacin in my brain

Shy away from sane

My plane doesn't fly

It hydroplanes on to other planes of existance

With no assistance

Sliding on a rainy runway

It's a jetplane with a runaway

Who close his mouth

When he's got the most to say

But not enough hope to pray

He implodes

A black hole

That warps him

Warms him

Like frostbite

Deadeyed all night

But he's never felt more alive

Lost in the thoughts of another life

Based barely in reality

Impressionism over realism

Is it really healin him or killin him?

That's the question of the hour

Sittin in the head till it spoils

Goin sour

Green eggs and ham

With a side of sacrificial lamb

And extra power

Now imagination ******'s

Feelin weak as his soul slowly

Drifts back

Drips back

In to his irises

To the land of the living

While sipping with Osirises

Feeling riotous

While his lips split

Dry with the taint

Of the fountain of youth

Sittin there rotting away

Without use

Tryna meditate without medication

Racing to slow down

Before the "Why?" in the road

Cuz once he gets there

He knows

He'll never know
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
don't name it,
so it doesn't exist.
almost doesn't matter,
so it wasn't almost a kiss.
Antony Padilla Dec 2012
Riots and revolutions.
Quiet alongside cartoons.
It WILL be televised.
And tweeted,
And petitioned,
And posted.
And then we'll all forget about it.
Fade to static
And then to black.

Claiming that this act
Will in fact have an effect
Inviting me to sign
To prove my kindness
To silence my conscience
But I'd have to be unconscious
To think that
It would do jack

The revolution will be televised
Loudly.
But it will die
Quietly.
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
who i am
stands naked
before you
my faults
and my misgivings
will you be kind to my being?
or break me as a man?
i believe in your kindness
God help me if im wrong
for if that's the case
im ****** forever
cursed to never
recover
and find another worthy lover

my soul
stands before you
unclothed
and ****
know all of my imperfections
and insecurities
will you who
holds the key
to me
come in
to sweep a bit?
...
or instead invade
and set all aflame?
a shadow
laughing at the dancing light

whichever is the case
only time will tell
but i know that time will not heal
not this time
too much of me is here
im scared sometimes
scared that i risk too much
in the name of love
i will however stay my course
i pray beloved
that you are as careful with my heart
as i believe you will be
Antony Padilla Sep 2012
his muscles tense.
he hears unsteady steps,
the clapping
of bare feet
against concrete,
the unnatural moaning.
he clenches his fist
the leather of his glove
whines at his movement.
"Don't worry Benvolio, you will sup deeply soon enough."
he looks at his left hand
and realizes that his fingers
are dancing with one another.
"And you as well Mercutio."
the macabre applause of feet and concrete
is getting steadily louder.
the boy is barely a man
and yet his face is steady and sure
as one many times his age.
he stretches his back
and cracks his neck.
he takes a couple quick breaths
and one last deep one.
"Hunger no more my sweet destoyers!"
he exclaims as he leaps from the momentary safety of his dark corner
and is met face to face
with a fell creature of nightmare.
the first thing to hit him is the smell.
its' putrid stench,
strong enough
to make him lose some of his momentum.
he toddles back on the heels of his feet
and stops
looking at this thing of evil in disgust.
its blank eyes leak some manner of dark liquid.
its lips are cracked
and caked black with the old blood
of past victims.
these lips split to reveal
a tongueless maw
with six rotting teeth
three on top
and three on the bottom.
it let's out a bone chilling gasp
that sounds like a breeze
blowing through the grass
of a graveyard.

a zombie.

for longer than he should have
he simply stood there
his eyes locked on
the nauseating visage
of the monster.
and then his hands began to twitch.
with a start he was brought back to reality.
he looked down at his hands
made perfect by the smooth black leather of his gloves.
he looked back up only to realize that he had
allowed himself
to be surrounded by these slow
ponderous
beasts.
he smiled
"It's time to eat."
the zombie closest to him
groaned as if in agreement.
he flexed his shoulders
and cracked his neck
and went to work,
furiously flashing
his two companions
back forth at an unnatural speed
three hits send it's head flying
as if blown off by a shotgun.
he feels the cold tight grasp of something
on his shoulder
one quick breath
and then one swift and perfect motion
he spins
to faces his adversary.
one quick breath
and he releases Benvolio.
he feels the power rise
from the bottom of his foot
up through his twisted hips
and into his massive back and shoulders
to pool inside the knuckles of his fist
for less then a second
and explode
into the side of the head of the soulless corpse,
his vicious right hook leaving
an eruption of ichor
where the creature's head once was.
his eyes light up
with the joy of a madman
as he charges through the scattered crowd
of undead
dozens of grasping, gripping hands
try to stop his momentum.
he just keeps plowing
and keeps laughing,
cutting through the swath
like a scythe to barley,
leaving headless corpses in his path.
he finally breaks free of them
and runs harder than before,
still laughing to himself.
he rushes down the mountain of asphalt
with the speed of an olympiad.
it isn't until he finds another
dark hiding spot
that he realizes how hard he is breathing.
gasping,
wheezing,
fighting for air.
his chest heaves
as he looks down
at the blood drenched leather of his once
pristine black gloves.
the noisy rattling of his heavy breathing
makes him shake
"No more gasp today. I need to wheeze I need to rest."
his hands quiver in protest
"No more. Not today. I need...sleeeeep."
and he collapses in exhaustion.
the noise is loud and clamorous
and the white eyes
of reanimated bodies
look up in the direction of the disturbance.
but he doesn't know,
he's sleeping deeply.
Antony Padilla Dec 2012
With eyes that take the spit in my mouth and evaporate it.
That take my sense of balance and eradicate it.
Vertigo.
Get up slow.
Walk over for a long hug that feels like a couple seconds
...But I've lost all sense of time
And my words aren't really mine cuz talkin aint really on my mind.
You sendin all kinda signs that you likin what you see,
N I'm sendin all the signs that I'm lovin who I need.
The feel I need,
Got the feel that she'd read me like I've read her.
Diamond in the rough like Esther
And I aint mad at that.
Bright beauty bout to give me cataracts.
N I'm caught in those deep brown ojos
That catch the light just so.
N those eyelashes so long like they tryna lash out n butterfly kiss me.
Baby love me like I think you do,
Let me smell ya scent, get a clue,
I just want a hint of you.

— The End —