with an eternal universe
to **** with
why do You choose me?
im powerless against You.
a worthless opponent.

with an entire Earth
to **** with
don't you have
someone more important
to lead down the winding path
of destruction?

You attack me
with holiness and piety,
burn me with Your light
and blind me with sight.

you attack me
with deception and guile
leading me to extremes
by the smallest of degrees.

You made me this way
yet expect me to live
in shame, guilt, and sadness
for who i am.
You claim i can have freedom
when i was created
with more than external chains
the bonds in my heart
have found that which is
sweet to me.
my heart has found
something to get close to
in Your absence
You're so far
and yet i thought
i had found a way
to You
through Your gift of blessing
but this gift was Yours
and You want it back.

you want me to waste my gift
you want me to burn it
and thrash it
and trash it in the mud
you want me to destroy it with sweet words
and break it with selfishness
you want me to treat with hate
that which i love the most
you want me to help you
and lead her by our stitched hearts
down the hot and sweaty road
to the lake of fire
to your soon-to-be abode.
i refuse.

You and you both seek to burn me.
one with fire and One with divinity.

I felt a tickling on my arm
And snuffed it out with a single finger
As I rolled it's dead body
Between my fingers
And flicked it into oblivion
I thought:
What is a life so easily ended?
And was abruptly reminded
Of my own mortality.

i would say
don't look at me
my insides are too ugly
but you'll look anyways
and find out for yourself
so instead of
cutting you off from myself
i will give you too much
inundated with information
i will leave you
engorged on who i am
and if you enjoy
the taste of my being
i know that i
will truly enjoy yours
but you won't get the morsels
of meat that lay deep within me
not unless
im sure you're the best
and even then
perhaps not
im well protected
not behind walls
of unyielding stone
but behind an always moving
horde of skilled horsemen
they are my sword
that i attack
and defend with
and they will not part
until all doubt is gone
whoever they split for
like the red sea
will be saluted
by them and by me

Never forget,
But move on.
Don't harbor anger,
But remember what made you angry.
Dwell on smiles
But don't repress the smell of fire
And burned flesh.

Distance is a poison slowly killing me.
Everyday I dip my tongue
In the antidote of your voice.
It keeps me ahead of death,
if just barely.
Only you,
In all your fullness and glory,
Can truly breathe new life into me.
Come to me soon my dearest panacea.
May our time apart fly by like the quickest wind,
forgotten after passing.

Inspired by Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

im smiling at your smile
and in your laugh
i hear inside jokes that last a while
the electricity in your lips
feels like slow summers
watching the sun set
and long winters
smiling at new snow
from inside a warm house
that you convince me to leave
so i can go out and freeze
but i see your rosy nose
and huge grin
and it's all worth it

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

your scent
makes everything make sense
night lights
brighten your smile
when we go out to dinner
and you walk slow past me
trailing your finger across my belly
your warmth takes me to when we have the AC
too high
and i wake up cold
until i groggily pull you close
and fall back to sleep smiling

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

the way you move
i see you
dancing to no music
in our living room
it's either foolishness
or hypnotic poetry
sometimes a combination
of the two

i see us
dancing in the rain
kissing under thunder
and laughing with the flashing lightening
two flushed faces
breathless and beaming
wind making your hair crazy
and freezing our bones
until we grab each other
and remember
we'll never be alone

walk slowly with me
let's hold hands
in your eyes
i can see myself
as an old man

Dear Lord,
Don't allow me to forget myself.
I feel as if I'm already a memory in the back of my head.
Like an unknown relative that died when I was young.
I'm forgetting my face and it's being replaced with a blank slate.
And the world's an artist of poor taste Lord.
Crass and ****** and yet so magnetic.
Pull me away, because everyday I stay,
I feel more lazy.
Dear God,
Don't let me forget who I am,
Or Who made me.

Amen.