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Antonia Oct 2013
cause of death:  this report is inconclusive.

from the numerous findings
located in and around the region of the victim's brain
(i.e. dark clouds of equally dark thought, spaces blackened
by jealous fires, series of doors that lead to nowhere, etc.)
it has been debated as to say whether
these symptoms were self-inflicted
or if external situations led to their existence.

further reports after lunch.
Antonia Nov 2013
asking a friend what they like about a certain someone is..
like asking to identify exactly how they like their coffee.
coffee.

that his lips can wake you up faster than any espresso; that his
body smells more rich and welcoming than the packaged beans.
they always say the beans are specific to the place they originate from, with a set smell and taste; and if you look closely, you can find those bits of culture hidden in the crevices of his body, and the distinct way his name rolls off your tongue.


and sometimes you lose your want for a certain brand of coffee; the taste becomes too bitter, no matter to the amount of artificial sweetener you spill into the mug, now causing your nose to wrinkle at the smell.
Antonia Oct 2013
it begins with an apology:
I'm so sorry
that I only have words to-
express-
convey-
explain-
-my love for you
because
no words can-
compare-
describe-
-accurately this hurricane of emotion
that twists and grows,
faster and faster,
inside my-
heart-
mind-
soul-
Antonia Oct 2013
you always were fascinated by
the storm clouds
that danced solely above your head,
and the lightning that
touched ground in your mind,
but considered a
silver-lining
a phenomenon
Antonia Oct 2013
appreciate the beauty in the smallest things:
-- how he holds his coffee cup
-- the way her shoes click against the floor
Antonia Oct 2013
if I kept your secrets
as if they were under a lock and key,
then you kept mine
as if they were an open book
Antonia Dec 2013
anyone walking along the roads can see plants poking through the places where fragments of concrete have broken away; weeds stretch along the pavement, and grasses grow through the ridges between slabs of stone.  they grow when people want them dead and gone; they stand tall while others want to stomp them down.
how natural, standing up is, the way trees ***** themselves to their true love, the sun, how grasses grow in only one direction, how mountains point only one way.  at least nature understands the importance of that direction: upward.  the place of the stars, a long standing metaphor for aspiration and dreams.
so, if standing up is so natural, why  do we humans find it so hard to stand up for ourselves?
we manage to stand on our own two feet well enough, but do we stand tall?  no.
we slouch and bend and curve and hide; we mask our faces with hair and makeup, turn our backs and shrug our shoulders.  we cut each other down with words likes knives, chopping, chopping away our self-esteem and feeling of worth.  poisonous looks **** our outlook, so that the grass is dead on both sides and there's nowhere to turn.  instead of building ourselves up to be invincible stone, we crumble like sand castles that were too close to the tide.
Antonia Jan 2014
a universe churns out at the sway of her hips;
that twinkle is a star in her eye;
a galaxy rests in the curve of her lips,
and her hair is as expansive as the sky.
her body is strung together by every constellation,
and her hands leave black holes in lovers hearts.
the pace of her celestial tread is a orbital continuation
since time's birth, that never stops, only starts.
the Andromeda's prize.
Antonia Nov 2013
I tried those dish-washing detergents, the ones that have "super grease-removal"
but I felt like I was scrubbing off all the days we had worked, together, with metaphorical drills and wrenches, to fix what was irrevocably broken.
I used lotions, but freesias reminded me of the smell of your hair, and coconut oil left this residue that would feel like your hand was in mine.
I thought maybe covering them would be the solution, but my hands in gloves felt like the way your arms closed in around me and held me, suffocated me.
not exactly how I wanted it, but...

— The End —