I am too inconsistent
I'm sick too deep to fully heal
    (in time for your bouts of playfulness)
I'm a little close to the edge
I have a hard time keeping
    up with the changes, broad view
I do not like your brother
I can't cook worth dirt

But

You do not see people as they think they are
You act a little slantwise
You can't stand my quiet disorder
You have some strange compulsions
You just need to grow up
You always cry wolf

I rose up
and greeted the sun
with pieces of a smile

My brain fogged over
filled with slithering dreams
made of sap

Dust motes
filled my windows,
golden wraiths
twisting to my heartbeat

Slow-motion thoughts
could not get across
so I sped away
through the air

We met halfway
With stories
And warmth

Busily, I swept away
The lingering
Of cobwebby sleep

My mind rose,
A lazy creature
Warmed by the sun
Into wakefulness

On Fri-the-day in Physics
we spent all trying on movie scripts
cutting them down, wrapping them around our calves like
shin-guards, tight and vaguely reassuring
And have I read it? just the first
You tell me juice instead of grey
I wish you best but do not say so
a woman makes a cup of her heart, and in that way I hear
how he came home to
a surprise celebration of Gerald
(tunes with mountains and bears)
the hell's bells man, what a sweet sound
they were
some kind
of astounding

I like
The way I smell like you
When I wear your clothes

The inconvenient plant on Tess' table
And the haunted laundry room at Jess'
(The ghost, we've named him Steve)

I can always be safe, if I want to
When I'm around the two of you

And Tess is always catching me from just around the bend of sanity
When I think that I don't know why I'm slipping
Because I think she knows much more than she lets on
About losing to your dark psychoses

But Jess keeps me in touch,
And I really love her for it,
With her dreams and wishes and driving lessons
And her bold vegan ways in a place that is so unfriendly

Sometimes when I'm alone at home and
Cabin fever is much too catching
I'll talk to them and it dissipates so easily
(like gentle mist)

Aside from their assistance, they are beautiful
Their minds are whirling marvels,

And they make me laugh
At awkward intervals
When everyone else in the room is trying
Oh-so-hard to wear austerity
But I am never ashamed

Sometimes I think
"I'm losing my mind"
It hurts me to realize
That we aren't built to survive
I wish
That we could want life
Instead of this clamor to die
Sometimes imaginary words
Can't heal
The black and blue hues of old harms

I
Am not afraid of dying
As you are
I am not
Afraid of dying
With the dread
that you are
I am
Not afraid of dying
on the same level

I'll tell you the story
Sometime
When you stop with the winglessness

Dancing just outside my reach
Twisting little wraiths
Fractures of a beautiful creature
On the tip of my tongue
I can almost name its name
In a mocking manner
They twirl just a breath further than where I reach
Pretty pale pastels
And vibrant, verdant hues
Whisper just beyond where I can stretch
And they will go on turning
Lilting music murmuring
A background

If I lean a little closer
To your smoky-smelling vest

If I kiss a little slower
As you breathe your dying breath

If I tell you that I love you
As the tears roll down your cheeks

If I stay to hold your hand
As days turn into weeks

If you don't need me anymore
Because you are all healed

If I don't recognize you now
Because the past is sealed

If you find yourself alone again
But long for one last chance

If you whisper my name to me
I may spare you a glance