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I-5
We are soft souls blown
‘round with everything,
we are sifted sands
and treated grasses.
We plug ourselves
into cars and wait for destinations;
And still:
Violins ******* make people cry
(the tremolo stings your spine into shivers)

And that gives me something
you might call hope
for my age-bracket.
This has been somewhat of
a spiritual undertaking for me.
The roads of the interstate carry me
out of my reality
and into another consciousness.
Extended driving (the heavy tremolando).
I'm blue-glassed eyes and
I am ultraviolet light
and I open the car window
to exhale a lung of smoke
into the dustbowl.
Well, hell;
It's California.
~2011
The heights that burn brightly,
burn high holy in mind,
can they lead us to live rightly,
find us lovers realized?

No one touches me deeper than I can myself,
yet I prevail that there’s someone else.
When with open heart, wallet and bed
we take in people and bare deepest parts,
and still remain strange,
separate yet entwined.

Dead alone at some ripe age,
pray make sure to cover my grave
with mozzarella, amaranths, salame, daisies, sauce
and all my imperfect lovers
weeping in rivers, and eating
a pizza with all the wrong toppings.

Might I learn Love in whist,
from back over all my false starts,
could it teach me to be happy,
to stand by for a time?
for Lee Turpin
Suddenly my world so closed
becomes open,
to follow every animal-trail that
emerges in the heaving, breathing woods.
Old roads now lead to houses
and from canals up high
one can keep an eye.
I could not find
the stepladder weave up the cut
of the powerlines;
nor could I find
the stack glissade of rock upon rock
springfed from out of a mine.
My home’s at once drafty and
dark becoming, doors uncontaining,
the roads all too entwining.
And so too, my within,
chambers filling and then draining.
On the mend
again:
The case of the missing lodger
and his disassembled pens—
how he’d fleetfooted, everrunning feelings
he never could seem to pin.

One would have never guessed How
one’d grow accustomed to hell, Nay,
would seem to seek it out; Sidelong.
some part of you, sure, but wholly Itself.

We find it’s a little more manageable:
we’re not so lost surfing channels,
so neither red-eyed nor rubbed raw
by our own hands, but for we
dulled every point we had.

It’s the mornings when you realize what you’ve done:
what contrivances you’ll now employ to get on,
how you have your half-truths, white-lies, alibis
to maybe make it back to an end, any end, back to bed alive.


Exertion is low on account of the smoke;
the cat cannot snack, he just sits and counts kibble.
How cheap’s the talk we sincerely deliver;
how meek’s the squawks, silences, whimpers?

Movements are limited, speaking’s discouraged,
all promises made should be weighed
‘gainst the chance you can’t keep them;
if or if ever that’s ever the case.

The only way back, back to your druthers,
back to the timeline you still felt hungry,
where you were wont on cold nights to shiver,
with far less to consider and less high of stakes—

Keep behind or else far out in the world.
Remember to chew something: gum, dowels or cud.
Carry paper and pen else be misunderstood.
And before it's this Winter, gather your wood.
whatcha been upto?
Pillows too large
propped or pushed
to the floor,
wood debris and
shredded paper,
tools left out,
lights left on,

***** pots and bottles
on sills,
sheets in heaps and clothes
in piles: this list to-do.
A house in shambles,
a home in making.
I can't let myself come be with you (all of the time).
I'd get cruel and I'd tire of our sweet loving.

I can't let myself have another drink (I can't swallow).
I'd stop answering, stop thinking, start wallowing n' we both know
where that'd go—real low.

What I can
is take you driving, sunrise-set chasing
falling or dawning, what I can.
Taking my pride in all I can.

I can't let all myself go cuz I wouldn't know (when to stop).
Thenceforth hard-pressed to top what we had, what we got.

I can't let sweet old you into my life (not just yet).
There'd be a price in my eyes, a cost for letting you get.
But yes, maybe, maybe I might, if it's right.
Rain fell today, yeah, the drought's over.
Now you can all go home.
I hope this a bitter winter,
hope it chills you to the bone.
That might settle the score,
but when I settle my affairs
I'll want more: prepare for war.

Some soon to come and some more soon to go–
like I expected any less.
I'd tell you what but I am just too yellow,
I'm too young to know
but you couldn't call me heartless.
I make amends, make amends, my friends.
Wanna be easy, breezy again.

Lovely Western Zephyrus, I do invoke thee now:
please send something our way.
Lovely cumulonimbus flown in on o'er the town,
like a child's tantrum rage.
Have to be brave, be brave to be saved.
But my voice is hoarse, depraved.

This Winter now is just a-getting started.
So far it's like a one from way before.
Reckon it will leave me so brokenhearted.
The storm's knocking, knocking at your door.
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