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A B Perales Feb 2014
It was the
warmth
I felt at
the sound
of her voice
that assured
me it had
returned.
The way she
stared directly
into my eyes as I
spoke.
The way
she waited
patiently
while I
struggled
with the
stammer.

I placed
the times
with her deep
within the
caverns of
my memory.
In the
bright
place where
all of the
good times
are kept.

I did what
was right
before I had
a chance to
let her
down or
to hurt her in
the way only
I knew
how to
do.

I loved her
for a week
then let
her go.
It was the
only right
thing
to
do.
A B Perales Feb 2014
I awoke to
what I thought was a
Friday.
Or maybe it was
Sunday,
the days ran
closer together
as I paled in the
dark.

The black cat
purred at my side.
I starred up at the
blades of the ceiling
fan as
they slowly sliced
through the musky air.
This movement caused
the dust motes to flee
through a single bar
of sunlight that
had somehow broke through
the shades I thought
I closed tight enough
to **** the day away.

I reached out careful
not to disturb the cat
and grabbed something
deadly to smoke on.
I began the chase
and regretted it almost
instantly.

I knew all of this
would have to
end soon and more
than likely
end hard in order
for me to began
anew.

My world had
become cruel
nor joyous,
all remained as
random as
these words
that dance to the music
in my head.

I sat up on the
edge of the
rumpled bed,
the cats emerald eyes
stared at me
through sleepy blinks.

I made my way through the
tiny hurricane
of swirling
dust motes
and ****** smoke,
each step lighter than
the next.

I let loose the
shades and winced
at the light of
day.

The outside world
was changing
and a trapped
painted lady
fluttered around
the inside
of the window seal.
I took this as
yet another sign
from the Gods
of the impending
changes that were sure
to come.

I opened the window
and the lost night flier
took to the day.

And I felt death
in the air and *****
in my blood and
couldn't help but
smile.

It takes an
ending and
I knew my
ending would'nt
come any time
soon.
A B Perales Feb 2014
I've long since
kept an
extra
set of friends
in the background.

Its always
good
to have a spare.

Easily replaceable,
daily interchange
A B Perales Feb 2014
I
feel
nothing but
humility
as I stare
at my
past and
watch
it all fall
away
like
a shale
cliff
loosened by
the
thunder
A B Perales Feb 2014
These nights
are like
Harlots.

Each one
promising
a new type
of fantasy,
to be reused
over and
over.

Without  
any type
of caressing
or shame.
A B Perales Feb 2014
I no longer cast blame
upon the choices or
the Poppy.
The pretty painted
ladies,friends who lacked
loyalty or the
black robed Judicial figure
who cast the peoples
sentence upon me.

I've took the oath
and willfully chose
to walk with the
truly hardened souls
whose experience somewhat
mirrors my own.

Drink from the vessel
of this truth spoke the
muse.
Pick at the foggy drug
driven heart broken times
and turn them all into
so much more than
just dead flesh sadness.

I believe I earned
the calling from the
Gods themselves.
So much loss
has now began to
show it's reasons.

And to deprive myself
of the joy this
gift brings
would be a greater loss
than all of what
has led me to this.

So much loss
has now began to
show it's reasons.
A B Perales Jan 2014
It's better this way.
I'm better off as a
spectator to the
way everyone
else finds happiness.

They dress their
best and pray on
sundays.
I drink in stale
clothes and laugh
out loud in the
open park in
the dead of night.
High and at one
with the
thieving masked  
lords of the night.

Theirs are goals
and mine are troubling
questions that cause them
discomfort.
I try to pull on
the  answers
no one wants
to really
hear,
not even
myself.

They all long for
love and praise.
Heart shaped
chocolate filled
boxes is what
represents their
artificial idea
of love.

I touch not on
this subject.

I chase away my madness
while drunk and too
high to keep up with
my own shadow.

You'll find me in
the darkness if I let
you.

I'll have the pistol in
my pocket, a bottle
in my hand
and this dead
end love on
the mind.
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